How To Say Welcome, How To Be Appreciated
Chapter 2: Practice speaking so as not to offend others
Lesson 1: No need to dispute to solve the problem
A crowd of people gathered on the street,
“Fighting, arguing fiercely!”
“What is it, a fight?
Go and intervene!”
Call the police!”
Two people who did not know each other,
just because of a dispute that caused the murder.
This is the “chapter effect” in psychology
or more specifically,
people just because of a small dispute
that causes great damage to both.
This vulnerability is far beyond our imagination.
Real life is like that,
we often cause a dispute because of one thing,
gradually developing to the point of irrevocably fierce quarrel.
(1) Causal effect:
Indicates mass change when there is some change.
The famous psychologist Dale Carnegie said,
“We must stay away from disputes,
just as we avoid earthquakes and wild animals.”
Because in the process of dispute,
people’s thinking will be affected by emotions,
forgetting to think calmly,
even forgetting their original wishes
– sometimes just want to tell others something.
A more reasonable opinion,
maybe just want to discuss with him
a little bit about his personal point of view.
Dale Carnegie once had a dispute with another person,
when he recalled,
he deeply regretted:
Once, Dale Carnegie was at a party,
when the guest sitting next to him told an interesting story.
However, in the story he makes a small mistake,
which is that he quotes a sentence,
which is said to be in the Bible
but is actually in Shakespeare’s Hamlet.
Dale Carnegie discovered this error
and corrected it without hesitation.
But the person persisted with his opinion:
“What, that saying is Shakespeare’s?
absolutely impossible… you’re wrong…”
The two had a small argument over this issue,
then the scene suddenly became a bit awkward.
There, there was an old friend of Dale Carnegie,
who studied Shakespeare.
The friend kicked Dale Carnegie’s feet under the table,
“This is true in the Bible,
On the way home,
Dale Carnegie was puzzled:
“Why are you trying to say I’m wrong?”
The friend said:
“Yes, it is true that the other person was wrong.
But Mr. Dale,
everyone is a guest at the party,
why do you insist on winning
and losing to prove someone else’s mistake?
If you do that,
will people love you?
They don’t need your opinion,
why you have to argue with them,
it’s better to save some face for others.
you must avoid direct conflict with others!”
The danger of the “Butterfly effect”:
Perhaps, sometimes you will also have negative emotions
that cannot be avoided,
but you need to promptly adjust
and prevent bad thoughts,
Even if things are not happy,
they must be handled tolerantly and properly.
when in dispute,
you often use vehement words to overwhelm others,
to create a psychological satisfaction
and satisfaction for yourself.
But in fact,
when you dispute to the end of the matter,
your reason will be weakened,
even turning into a tasteless battle of words
and forcing the opponent to submit,
not related to the matter itself work,
and the end result is still useless.
Disputes not only can’t solve the problem,
but also make both of them fall into a vicious circle.
During the dispute,
both are based on their own subjective opinions,
when one party feels that
the other party is suppressing him emotionally,
he will protest,
so no one will give up.
Everyone wants to prove the other party wrong,
everyone wants to win the opponent,
so the dispute will become more and more fierce.
When seeing the results of the dispute,
most people will regret it,
they shouldn’t have been so stubborn in the first place
because of a statement.
Many people even think,
why does a single sentence have such serious consequences?
Why can’t I save some face for him?
If we both want to solve the problem
and don’t want to create a dispute,
we can negotiate with a peaceful tone of voice,
“I have a thought like this,
I don’t know if it’s true or not,
Mr. Can you help me take a look?”
As such, the other party will be “shaken” by your opinion,
will admit that he is “probably not perfect”.
The reason arguing can’t solve the problem is
because very few people will accept an opinion “smarter than me”,
and very few people will reject a modest proposal
that is “probably not true”.
Therefore, when we interact with others,
in order to make others happy to accept our opinions,
we can change to a gentler method,
based on respect for each other,
The famous Greek philosopher
– Socrates constantly reminded himself:
“I know only one thing,
and that is that I know nothing.”
Disputes will only increase the animosity
and resentment between the two sides,
can not solve the problem.
If we have the impulsive thought of wanting to argue with others,
we must try to control our emotions,
try the following two ways:
(1) Agree with the opponent’s criticism and praise the opponent
When you become aware that the other party is trying to argue
“Your perspective is very good,
I think you are right.”
Once you accept the other person’s criticism
or praise the other person’s thoughts,
the other person will look at you with more friendly eyes,
thereby accepting your reasonable opinion.
(2) Accept mistakes with a positive attitude
When you admit your mistake,
saying that you are not good,
the other person will quickly acknowledge your kindness
and will not continue to argue with you.
You can tell him:
“It was my negligence,
I didn’t pay attention earlier,
so I misunderstood you.”
Lesson 2: It makes sense,
but still humble is the one who is generous
In the debate contest,
the scene of the two sides arguing
with strong words made viewers very interested,
if unfortunately the other side had a bit of confusion,
someone on this side immediately stood up,
smiled and said:
“You side team,
pay attention to the statement just now.”
The rule of the winner of a speech contest is this:
Reason won’t give in.
But if you always have to be around a colleague
who is called “the best argumenter”,
I’m afraid people will feel sorry for you.
For example, you did something wrong,
you apologized to him,
but he still wouldn’t let go:
“Where did you go wrong,
tell me how to solve this problem,
will make the same mistake in the future.
If you end up making him write a statement,
then you definitely won’t want to be around him for another second.
There’s an old saying:
“If you don’t give in to a reason,
then your reason will turn into nonsense.”
There are parents who criticize their children,
get used to repeating the same thing over and over,
then every time they see their child make a mistake,
they bring it up and say it again,
thinking that doing so can make a deep impression on their children,
make me change,
never to repeat the crime.
But the result is quite the opposite,
doing so will cause resentment against children,
even knowing that it is a mistake to do it
but intentionally commits it.
Psychological resistance caused by too much stimulation,
too strong or too long time,
in psychology called “outside effect”.
When someone has a reason to refuse to give in,
because of the other’s mistakes,
but constantly criticizes,
the opponent will
because of the “out-of-the-box effect” feel disgusted with the speaker,
and at the same time forget about it
whether the content of the talk is true or not,
reasonable or not,
just want it all to end quickly.
The “critic speaker” in the eyes of everyone
It will leave an impression of lack of humanity,
I think such a person,
no one will be interested in communication anymore.
Arguments who refuse to give in often have the following
three psychological factors:
1) Has a short temper,
has a desire to conquer,
uses overwhelming methods to express his sense of superiority.
2) Likes to gain,
does not allow others to gain any benefit.
just want people to contradict,
whenever you find a small defect of another person,
it turns it into a big deal.
If we can open our hearts,
be a little more generous,
rationally give in,
acknowledge the mistakes of others and still be tolerant,
then in psychology this is called the “law of tolerance.”
Tolerance is the beginning of all hope,
most harmonious force in the world.
The excitatory signal that we emit too much,
too strong and lasts too long,
not only does not achieve the expected effect,
but also causes negative effects psychological discomfort,
even resistance of others.
There was once a case that touched many people.
There were two young men at work accidentally causing a fire,
killing a young man.
Faced with serious consequences,
under the pressure of public opinion,
they felt that life was not as good as death,
and finally decided to commit suicide by taking tranquilizers.
But when the victim’s mother appeared on TV,
they were deeply moved.
The victim’s mother,
in an interview with a television station,
expressed her forgiveness for the two children
who did not have much life experience
and advised them to return to their parents’ side.
The other two youths deeply regretted,
gave up the idea of suicide,
decided to be a good person in the future,
shouldering the responsibility that their sins have caused.
This interview also touched the hearts of all those sitting
in front of the television
when they saw the mother with tears in her eyes saying the word “forgive” a
nd expressing concern for the two perpetrators.
That generous tolerance is admirable.
The mother in the above example,
a word “forgive” is like the voice of an angel,
opening a light of hope for the person who has erred.
Compared to this mother’s plight and tolerance,
our little resentment in the office
a little turbulence in the family,
the conflicts in the street are just small things.
The most honorable German in the Gypsy is not a master of martial arts
who kills people without fear,
but a Shaolin monk who travels
throughout the five continents and four pools.
We see that,
when anyone commits a big mistake that makes everyone angry,
the first thought is definitely to go to the Shaolin Temple to hide.
But the high monk there faced danger without fear,
calmly saying one sentence:
“Beloved, Buddha’s door is a place of purity.
If you can forgive others,
then forgive them.”
it is true that “can endure the unbearable,
tolerate heinous crimes”.
No wonder the Shaolin monk has
such a “big influence” in the martial arts world.
we are not isolated individuals.
Therefore, we must learn to adjust to the new environment quickly.
No matter how big the enemy’s shortcomings,
we must also tolerate and tolerate the opponent.
Here are a few more ways:
(1) Don’t think of yourself as right but complain
and criticize the other party
We must not assume that the other party is wrong,
we are right,
then resent and criticize the other.
Maybe the same thing,
but if we do it,
we will make the same mistake or even worse than them.
(2) Look at the opponent’s strengths
No one is perfect,
we need to learn to give in even though we may be right,
let’s look at the other’s strengths.
We are tolerant of each other,
the other will also be tolerant of us.
On the contrary,
if we are harsh with the other person,
the other person will also treat us with the same attitude.
Lesson 3: State the opponent’s potential objections
In one family,
a mother put a piece of onion in her child’s bowl.
When the child saw it,
“Mom, how many times have I told you not to eat onions!”
Then, the boy pouted
and threw the onion on the table,
even annoyed that he did not want to eat rice.
Another mother did the following.
She said to her son:
“Darling, I know you don’t like the smell of onions,
but onions are good for your health,
for your health,
I made a delicious onion dish,
I guarantee you won’t hate it.
Can I have some food?”
So the child obediently ate the onion.
Where is the difference between the two mothers?
The answer was that the second mother voiced the objection
the child was likely to have in mind.
Research psychology has proven that
children in adolescence have the most obvious oppositional mentality.
every person has a resisting mentality,
this mentality is often not caused
by the incident itself,
but because an opposing defense mechanism is formed
when one’s own opinion is opposed,
feeling not receive the inherent respect.
Resentment psychology is like a child’s temperament,
predictable, even exploitable.
To get rid of the opponent’s “anti-psychotic”,
for the other party to agree to receive your ideas,
you must do this:
what the other person wants,
you give it to the other person.
If the other person is upset
when he is not respected,
you should speak out his opinion first,
show respect for the other person.
Then again raise an opinion that you think is beneficial
to the other party appropriately,
the other party will no longer have a strong opposing mentality.
Cleverly use the positive element of resistance:
If your opponent’s resistance is very strong,
you can use the “cooling off” method,
which is to ignore the stubbornness of the other person.
When the other party uses his method to threaten you,
you must not soften your heart,
let the other person cry,
wait until the other person is calm to pay attention.
Guys walking the streets with girls will often have the following experience:
When she tries on clothes,
she often asks for your opinion,
but is absolutely not receptive to your opinion,
most likely she will end up with you.
She will choose the clothes that you think are the ugliest.
She asks you:
She said, “Where is the beauty?”
Then choose another one,
keep asking you again.
“Isn’t it pretty?
I find it very beautiful.
I’ll take this one.”
Then will turn to ask you:
“Where’s the money?”
Therefore, for guys who have been like this once,
remember to say the opposite of your opinion next time.
Take a look at the guy below
who cleverly took advantage of the anti-psychotic
and successfully dated a girl who rejected him many times.
“Do you have time to go to the movies tonight?”
“Not today, not in a good mood.”
“What’s wrong with the house?
It’s really exhausting to have something happen even at night!”
“No, it’s not really a big deal.”
“So what, that’s fine. Or should I call home just to be safe?”
“No need, it’s not urgent!”
“Or let’s go for a walk together,
relax while walking,
and don’t come home too late.”
If when the girl says “I’m not in a good mood”,
the guy will say “Then go get some entertainment”,
the girl will feel coerced,
from which there will be a resistance mentality,
will say “I don’t want to go home late. ”
But the intelligence of this guy is that,
he skillfully voiced objections that this girl might use.
Psychology through studies has proven that
this complex antipathy is also a human instinct.
When you smile to show her acceptance,
even helping her say it first,
she will again develop a defensive mentality,
thinking that you don’t need to be so receptive,
and then she will refute her initial thoughts.
When her objection has been vetoed by herself,
then she will have no reason to refuse you,
of course she will accept.
The “self effect” in psychology indicates
that people will develop feelings of dependence
and affection for people who have certain characteristics
and views similar to themselves.
If you can voice your opponent’s objections first,
the other person will develop a sense of intimacy
and curiosity towards you.
Research shows that,
if the other person’s opinion and you agree,
then this opinion will be considered correct.
If you can guess the other person’s thoughts,
consider it as your opinion and express it first,
then the other person will definitely feel surprised
and happy because of the two people’s harmony,
in their heart will feel friendly with you,
thereby quickly removing psychological barriers,
can even open the heart,
creating a special trusting relationship
between the two parties.
In fact, when the other person trusts
and acknowledges you,
you can use your role
as a friend to state the other person’s opinion first,
thus increasing your odds of being accepted by others.
When talking and working,
if we can say the opponent’s objection first,
the other person will feel closer to us.
(1) Taking advantage of the opponent’s opposing mentality
A lot of people have a resisting mentality,
the more difficult things are to get,
the more they want to have them.
When we talk,
we can take advantage of this point,
say it first,
the other’s desire will be even stronger.
psychologically the other person will be closer to you,
even feeling that you are their soulmate.
(2) Reduce your own anti-psychotic
Your emotions will definitely show on your face.
If you have a strong resistance mentality,
the opponent will catch this.
Because people with a strong anti-psychotic love to confront others,
sometimes the other person will think that
you are causing trouble for no reason,
will not like you.
Therefore, you need to minimize your own resistance as much as possible.
Lesson 4: Stand on the other side to talk
Some people like to see their best friends as someone
who is on the same side as them,
right or wrong.
When your friend has a conflict with another person,
you see clearly his mistake,
“Actually, I don’t think you’re right either.”
He will immediately be able to turn around and say,
“Which side are you on?”
What he cares about and emphasizes is not the matter itself,
not the logic of right and wrong, but the faction.
This is the mistake we often make:
looking at people not looking at work.
The people I like,
no matter how bad they do,
they like it,
and the people I hate,
no matter how good they do it, it’s bad.
Lincoln gave a special speech in an election competition in America,
he made good use of the “self effect”.
The talk was held in southern Illinois,
where there were plantation owners and slave owners.
They hated Lincoln because he was an abolitionist,
so they secretly discussed to assassinate him.
Lincoln also knew he was in great danger.
At the beginning of the speech,
“I have heard from my fellow Illinois people
that there are people who oppose me
and hate me very much.
Actually I don’t understand why you have to be like that,
because we are all equally good
and honest people,
I just want to have the same right to express my opinion as you.
Friends, I am just one of you,
I am not here to interfere with you.
I was born in Kentucky, grew up in Illinois,
I know people from those places,
I also want to get to know Missourians,
because I love you,
I am one of you.
I have experienced the feeling of struggling in a difficult environment,
so I want to help the poor and miserable…”
The success of Lincoln’s speech lies in the fact
that he constantly emphasized his position,
asserted himself as “one of them”,
causing the audience to develop a “self effect”.
Therefore, with the opponent,
you should stand on their stance to talk,
think of their interests,
of course they will remove the hostile and defensive mentality,
and quickly shorten the psychological distance from both sides,
thereby creating a feeling of trust.
Author of a book of bestseller wrote in a novel:
“All misunderstandings stem from not understanding each other.”
In life, we may hear the words:
“How much do you understand me?
How can you say that to me!”
The famous psychologist Carl Rogers in his book On Becoming a peson said,
“I have just discovered that it is very valuable
to try to understand other people.
You might ask, do we really need to do this?
It’s too necessary.
When we listen to other people talk,
we never try to understand the feelings,
attitudes and opinions of the other person,
but often lean towards making judgments and judgments,
for example “this is not right”, ”
” the other is not true”,
We never think about what these words mean to others.”
Therefore, if we want to immediately criticize the other’s mistakes,
then try to stand on the other side’s perspective to think for a bit,
thus avoiding a lot of misunderstandings and conflicts.
With the same thing,
we see in different statuses
and stances will have completely different meanings.
The Companion effcet is also known
as the “Emotional Resonance Effect”.
According to common sense,
people always have a feeling of closeness
and trust with “themselves”.
In order for the other person to accept you,
you must let the other person feel that
you are speaking for the other person,
or let the other person feel that
you are doing good to the other person,
so that it is easy to cause emotional resonance
between two parties.
A psychologist once did the following experiment:
He looked for two seven-year-old children,
one from a poor family and one from a rich family.
The psychologist let two children look at a picture together.
In the picture is a baby rabbit crying at the table,
and the mother rabbit sitting next to her is frowning angrily.
Then have the two children tell the meaning of the picture.
The poor child said:
“The baby rabbit is hungry,
looking for food for its mother.”
And the rich kid said:
“The baby rabbit doesn’t want to eat rice,
it was forced to eat by the mother.”
The experiment tells us that
when people stand at different angles,
they think and react to the same thing differently.
When your friends ask for your opinion,
you have to stand up
and put yourself in the other person’s shoes to answer.
Imagine, when friends find you to confide in,
they want to ask your opinion about something.
They expressed sadness and said,
“If you were me,
what would you do?”
They ask you to stand on their ground to make judgments,
because the person in trouble
and the person who has to do it in the future are themselves,
For example, if he is too poor to pay the rent,
he will ask you if you should take a job that you do not like.
And if you have a house and a car,
you rely on your feelings and say:
“I think if you don’t like it,
then stop it,
living happily is the most important thing!”
That way he will think that you do not understand his mood,
even feel belittled,
because you do not put yourself in his perspective
to see the problem.
When we make recommendations to others,
it is best to replace “I think” with “if I were you”,
replace “me” with “we”,
which in psychology is called the “joining effect”. ,
it shows that you know how to put yourself in the other person’s situation
to think for them.
The benefit of this is to swap yourself for the opponent,
making the psychological distance
between the two sides closer,
the opponent will have a feeling of being valued.
If we can quickly get others to like us,
and swap positions with sincerity,
then it’s okay to be someone else for a moment.
When talking and working,
if we know how to stand on the other’s perspective
to think about the problem,
it will make the other person feel like “ourself”.
(1) Throw away your own way of thinking
Many people are used to standing on their own angle to think about problems,
based on their own way of thinking to talk,
which can hurt the other person’s self-esteem.
Maybe you don’t have any malice,
but because you don’t feel the other person’s mood,
don’t think about the hurt that
your words bring to the other person,
the other person will think you are the one to confront the enemy.
(2) Say warm words
There is an old saying:
“A good word warms all three”.
we must understand what the other person needs,
pay attention to our method
and tone of voice when talking,
if the words make the other person feel comfortable,
the other person will feel their friendliness.
Lesson 5: Pay attention to save face for the opponent
Remember the character Mathidle in the Diamond Necklace story?
Because she didn’t want to appear poor at her husband’s company meeting,
she went to her rich friend to borrow a diamond necklace,
and she became the “star” at the party
as expected to wait,
but because she accidentally lost that necklace,
she not only had to work hard
base to pay off debt for ten years,
but also lost his most precious youth.
Mathidle’s actions are an expression of excessive face-to-face,
and the excess has harmed her.
but in reality, saving face is also important.
Everyone wants their image in front of everyone
to be the most beautiful,
so that they can “show up”,
to avoid others looking down on them.
face equals dignity and self-image.
Why do people like to look like that?
Psychologists point out that
each person hopes to maintain a good image in front of others,
with the aim of being noticed and loved by others.
When this aspiration is despised by others,
and self-image is destroyed,
people will explode with more intense self-esteem than usual,
thereby giving rise to feelings of opposition
and hatred for those people.
In the theory of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs,
it has been pointed out:
“Respect and realize your own worth” is the highest need of people,
in other words,
the ultimate goal that people pursue is “can wear”.
Oriental people pay great attention to:
“You respect me one meter,
I respect you one foot”,
“You save face for me,
I will save face for you.”
This can be explained by the principle of reciprocity,
when people receive help from others,
they will feel indebtedness,
in order to compensate they will find ways to return the favors
to others. corresponding.
the relationship between the boss
and the employee also needs to be maintained.
A boss who can “face” is definitely someone
who knows how to keep “face” for employees.
Otherwise it will be similar to the example below,
making everyone awkward.
Trust will be trusted,
doubt will be doubted,
love will be loved,
hate will be hated.
When we save face for each other,
the other side will save face for us too.
Everything is reciprocal.
Uncle Truong is a long-time technical employee in the company.
Normally, he is very mild-mannered,
friendly to everyone,
and loved by everyone.
Colleagues having technical problems all want to seek advice.
But in a meeting of the company,
the director caught a small mistake that Mr. Truong made,
criticized very harshly in front of everyone.
This made Uncle Truong’s face suddenly become extremely unsightly.
The director continued to criticize him,
even saying outrageous words like
“Don’t think of yourself as a longtime employee”, and finally,
Uncle Truong could not help
but quarrel with the director in front of everyone.
Everyone was very surprised,
because Mr. Truong is normally so mild-mannered,
why would he treat the leader like that.
The director was also very awkward,
rushing to end the meeting.
Later, Uncle Truong became less talkative
and was not as enthusiastic at work as before.
Not long after, he resigned.
In fact, the director knows that Mr. Truong is an excellent technician.
If he quits,
it will be a loss for the company.
But thinking about the unhappy thing last time,
the director felt that his leadership reputation was damaged,
so it was not convenient to hold on.
Thus, just because of the two words “face”,
everything went bad. Originally,
Mr. Truong’s work in the company was very good,
with many years of experience,
and was respected by everyone.
But because I was criticized
by the director right in front of everyone,
I felt that I had no face,
my self-esteem was seriously damaged,
making me feel self-deprecating
and difficult to communicate in the company later.
So you actively quit your job to find another job.
As for the director,
after being refuted by Uncle Truong,
he also felt that his leadership prestige was reduced by half,
it is true that “not saving face
for others is not saving face for yourself.”
The position of a great leader will also have a larger face than an employee,
so when a leader’s face is damaged a little,
there is still a part that can be replaced,
but for employees,
specifically like Mr. There is only a little face,
if you don’t know how to keep it,
you will lose it all,
so employees need to try to protect the face of others,
saving face for others can cause tension to become calm and comfortable.
Trung Hieu is a customer care employee of the wood factory.
One day he received a phone call,
the manager on the other end of the line was extremely angry,
loudly criticizing the wood that his side brought in very poor quality,
He insisted on returning the goods.
Trung Hieu immediately went there.
He first expressed his apology to the angry manager,
then told the staff to continue unloading,
and at the same time set aside the goods that
the customer considered unsatisfactory.
Trung Hieu discovered,
it turned out that the cause was not the poor quality of the wood,
but the customer’s quality management criteria were inconsistent
with the product supplier.
This lot is white pine,
but the client’s manager used the hardwood criterion to test it,
which is clearly unreasonable.
Trung Hieu wears
Although he is well versed in the quality control criteria for white pine,
he does not directly point out the customer’s mistake,
but is extremely humble,
asking the customer for knowledge of hardwood testing.
As for the customer’s manager,
because Trung Hieu praised his forte,
he also felt happy,
the tension in the atmosphere was also reduced.
Next, Trung Hieu cleverly reminded the customer that,
on the basis of hardwood standards,
the inspection of white pine would be a bit unreasonable.
The manager began to realize his mistake,
his attitude also became more polite.
Finally, he frankly admitted that
he was still inexperienced with the inspection of white pine products,
and at the same time asked Trung Hieu for relevant knowledge.
Trung Hieu explained very carefully to him,
then frankly said that if not satisfied,
he can return the goods.
I think, if Trung Hieu immediately pointed out this manager’s
“error in knowledge”,
the manager would think that
“the kid is not as experienced as me” dared to mock him,
his face was touched,
the conflict between the two sides will become more acute.
But the intelligent Trung Hieu first asked for this manager’s forte,
so that he could show his erudite knowledge,
save face for him,
and then dare to give his opinion cautiously.
This is a satisfactory way to do it,
a smart way to handle it.
As for this manager,
because he was “saving face”,
he felt that the other party was too humble,
he also felt very shy,
and finally received all this wood to make up
for the feeling of indebtedness.
There is an old saying:
“Swipe your face to respect your nose”.
The pain in the heart can be hidden,
but if the face cannot be kept,
it will not know where to hide.
we must not damage the face of others,
no matter what,
we must save face for them.
Everyone hopes that they will receive the respect of others,
and all hope that their face will be protected and preserved.
(1) Find an excuse to escape for the other party
Some people clearly know that the other person is lying,
but do not want to expose
but also find an excuse for the other person to get out.
Your partner will appreciate you,
thinking that you save face for them.
On the contrary,
if you refuse to let go,
expose his lies in front of everyone to the end,
causing him to lose face,
then he will not only not correct
but also resent you for life.
(2) Know how to behave delicately in front of other people’s dilemmas
there will be times
when we will encounter awkward situations.
when others say the wrong thing,
do the wrong thing,
we must learn to save face for the other person,
pretending to not see anything,
not hear anything.
After the opponent has finished dealing,
Or if possible,
we should try to help others deal with these dilemmas,
but make sure not to show disrespect,
because doing so is not polite.