How To Say Welcome, How To Be Appreciated
Chapter 13: Let others feel you are trustworthy
Lesson 1: Limit promises,
once you make a promise,
you must try your best to do it
The promise is an effective hint of information
from the outside world.
This information always causes listeners
to develop a “expected effect” to varying degrees.
Why do people like to make promises?
Because ordinary promises are all very beautiful,
it carries some imaginary “gift”,
like a heart attack that gives people joy,
trust, even motivation.
The “promise you a job” example in the example below.
“Desired effect” is a person who has an assumption
and simulation in his heart about an event
that will happen in the future,
especially in situations where there is a suggestion
from outside information.
This will be more realistic.
If the real thing happens not like the hypothesis,
especially worse than the hypothesis,
then people will develop a sense of failure
when the illusion is destroyed,
thereby falling into greater despair.
Huy graduated from a prestigious university,
after a year working in a large company,
he achieved very good results.
the director called Huy to his office,
smiled and said:
“Huy, you are a talent,
I know it very well.
Do your best,
the company will not let you suffer.”
Huy quickly said:
“Yes, thank you,
At the happy moment,
the director said:
“At the end of this year,
if your performance is in the top three in the company,
I will promote you.
Currently the position of deputy director is vacant,
I want to save it for a capable guy like you.”
Huy was a little surprised and happy,
“The director values me so much,
I must do well.”
Huy worked more enthusiastically,
often working overtime,
the director was also very satisfied.
By the end of the year,
Huy completed the task beyond the prescribed level,
suddenly becoming the champion of the company’s work performance.
His colleagues congratulated him,
the director also praised him in the meeting,
but did not mention the promise of promotion at all.
Not long after,
during the meeting,
the director announced that
he wanted to hire a new “deputy director”.
speculated behind their backs,
whether there was an “implicit designation”
or who had the most hope.
A colleague asked Huy,
he just smiled,
but in his heart,
he was sure with the director’s initial promise,
feeling that he was the “pre-selected candidate”.
But once, when Huy talked to his colleague Quoc Trieu,
Quoc Trieu missed a word:
“The director has agreed to leave the position of deputy director
Huy asked surprised:
“What, the director also told me the same?”
When the two were looking at each other,
Duy sat next to him sighed,
forced a smile and said:
“The director is just joking,
half a year ago said he would leave this position to me,
as long as I performed well.
I put all my heart into working,
the results increased,
when I went to find the director,
the director seemed to have forgotten about it,
just considered it as a blur.”
In the end,
the position of deputy director went
to a relative of the director.
Huy has a feeling of being cheated,
later doing everything is slow and unmotivated.
The director again looked for him to talk,
promising that any vacant position would definitely promote Huy first…
But Huy did not believe these words anymore,
he even lost faith in the company’s management system,
I feel that there is no room for self-development here,
trying harder is futile.
Not long after,
he submitted his resignation.
If the director did not make a promotion promise
from the beginning,
then surely Huy would not have felt disappointed
because of such a big lie.
Because before that,
Huy did not have the expectation of being a deputy director,
but the director’s promise made this expectation take shape.
His trust in the director made this expectation formation all the more real.
“the bigger the hope,
the more disappointed”,
eventually when the expectation does not come true,
insiders will feel cheated.
there are some people who like empty promises.
Unfulfilled promises will become blank checks,
hurting other people’s feelings,
destroying trust of both parties.
When making promises,
people will arise a certain moral pressure,
if they can’t fulfill their promises,
they will leave an irresponsible image to the listeners.
So, moral pressure has motivated them
to take corresponding actions to fulfill the promise.
That’s why saying promises will create pressure on both sides
(the promiseer and the listener).
in the face of an incident,
we must not arbitrarily make promises,
not just for the sake of temporary happiness,
but cause unnecessary troubles,
even lower our credibility.
As a human,
almost everyone focuses on keeping their faith,
once they have made a promise,
they must try their best to do it,
before and after.
Promises are gold,
We have to try to fulfill our promises,
if only once we lose faith,
it will cause others to lose faith in us,
later they will also trust us less.
So when making promises,
what techniques should we apply?
Promises must be made publicly and clearly,
try not to promise privately,
so that under everyone’s supervision,
there is a greater binding force.
Research psychology proves,
people often attach great importance to their public promises,
will think of ways to fulfill.
(2) Obviously correct
Promises must be clear and precise.
We must clearly tell the other party the specific content that
we have promised,
when we can do it…
that way it is easier to make others believe.
Lesson 2: Sincere attitude, not pretending
In 1968, a social psychologist conducted a survey
of “most loved personality qualities”
with college students.
He listed 555 adjectives to describe qualities,
so that students could choose the quality they liked the most,
the result that the most chosen word was “sincere”.
While “fake” is the most hated quality by everyone.
President Lincoln is loved by the people precisely
because he places great emphasis on expressing true feelings.
In a speech,
-he had a very profound saying:
“You can deceive some people all the time,
you can also deceive everyone all the time,
but you cannot fool all the people at any time
for deceiving everyone all the time.”
In modern society,
there are more and more fakes,
+more and more secrets.
People also pay more attention to their cover,
to their secrets.
Communication becomes complicated,
there are many people reminiscing about the simple years
and sincere feelings.
The quality of “sincerity” is valued more than ever
In social interactions,
most people prefer to interact with people
who have a sincere attitude,
Being with them,
without losing a lot of thinking and thinking,
and without doubting the truthfulness of their words,
they will make others feel comfortable and happy.
These people know how to use the simplest method
to win the most sincere love.
there are some people who,
because they want to quickly integrate into a new environment
or want to build a good image in the eyes of others,
try to win their hearts,
say untruthful words,
like that listeners will not like.
Truong Lan below:
The new company has a new female colleague,
named Truong Lan.
She is very beautiful,
easy to speak,
but somehow not loved by everyone.
After working for three days,
Minh Ha just entered the office
and complained to her colleague My Van:
“I really can’t stand it anymore,
that lady Truong Lan doesn’t know what’s the problem?
when I got off work,
I went with me,
complimented my necklace is beautiful.”
My Van laughed and said:
“Isn’t it good to praise you,
people like you are really hard to please.”
Minh Ha said:
“Yes, at first I was very happy.
Then she complimented my hairstyle,
complimented my skin,
complimented me all the way from head to toe,
even the dress that you all said was ugly,
she also said it was beautiful,
it suits me very well.
Praise me so much that I get goosebumps.”
There is an old saying:
The affection of a gentleman is as pale as water,
the affection of a petty man is as sweet as sweet wine,
the affection of a gentleman is bland but long-lasting,
the affection of a gentleman is
The little lady,
is easy to break. In life,
people like Truong Lan are too enthusiastic,
which will make others feel insincere,
thereby giving rise to a feeling of rejection.
On the contrary,
there are some people who,
in order to build a good image,
deliberately pretend to be different from others,
as if they have an innate noble temperament,
alien to everyone.
There is a person,
actually from a normal family
but always pretending to be rich in front of others,
everyone talks about small roadside eateries,
she always talks about high-class hotels;
When everyone talked about her new hairstyle,
she said she was a “VIP” guest of a professional barber.
Behind her back,
everyone talked and didn’t like her,
and eventually discovered that
what she said was not true.
Such a person forever has to live in fatigue with a mask,
not daring to speak out true feelings and sorrows,
unable to make others feel closeness and desire to be close.
Psychologists believe that,
when people communicate,
it is necessary to maintain psychological balance,
use a sincere attitude
to maintain psychological balance of both parties.
This is not only beneficial for psychological health,
but also beneficial for normal communication.
Psychology believes that
everything is in balance to be able to be harmonious and durable.
The same goes for communication relationships,
when two people are next to each other,
a person’s psychological balance is not satisfied,
then the relationship of two people will appear cracks.
if one party treats you sincerely
and the other side always hides a fake,
this feeling of insincerity will make the sincere party feel tired,
so they will not want to continue to maintain an unfair friendship,
by this again.
There is a hidden corner in everyone’s heart,
sometimes they don’t want to open the door
my soul. But at the same time,
people are lonely,
longing to interact with others,
to be understood.
It’s like on a towering high-rise building,
you close the door of your house
but feel sorry for why the other door is locked.
You lock your secret in the safe
but blame others for not confessing to you.
You put on very heavy makeup
but criticize others for not letting your face go bare.
The only way we can get others
to drop their defensive mentality is
to first lift their own defensiveness;
If we want to be hugged,
we should first extend our arms to hug others,
if we want to be loved,
we must first love others.
This applies very clearly in the marketplace.
Many businesses today are pursuing an open business model,
ie sincerely facing consumers,
so that they develop a sense of trust
and a sense of absolute security.
a business with sincere behavior will make people feel closer,
easier to gain market and reputation.
Thanh Trung is a young salesman,
when he first entered the company,
he thought that in order to sell products,
he had to magnify the product to perfection.
But he discovered that,
the more he tried to describe the perfect product,
the more picky customers he encountered,
they said all the defects of the product,
and finally sarcastically said:
“It’s not worth telling very good?”
Thanh Trung feels very sad and defeated.
due to his poor performance,
he was criticized by the director,
and his mood worsened.
When facing the customer,
he decided to be frank,
to say all the defects of the product,
anyway he didn’t say it,
other people said it.
Unexpectedly after he did so,
the customer laughed and said:
“Thank you for your sincerity.
You think very carefully,
but I feel that,
apart from these shortcomings,
it can be considered a very perfect product.”
Thanh Trung understands that
selling is not about “hiding flaws”
but about giving honest and constructive opinions.
Sincerity itself is a treasure that no one can attack.
A famous translator said:
“Just a sincere person can touch people’s hearts,
even if people don’t understand it for a moment,
they will understand later.”
Sincerity is not deliberately pretending
to win the trust and respect of others.
(1) Open your heart
When we are with others,
we have to open our hearts,
treat them honestly,
so they can treat you sincerely.
(2) Understanding others
If we are sincere,
we must understand others,
use our hearts to observe others,
listen to them,
use a tolerant
and honest attitude to understand them.
Lesson 3: If you do wrong,
you must admit it bravely
Parents must have heard the story of young Washington
when he was a child,
chopping down the cherry tree his father loved with an ax,
then bravely stood up to admit his mistake,
after reading this story,
the fathers and mothers.
Mother immediately considered “courageously admitting mistakes”
as a necessary lesson to educate her children to grow up.
I said I’m still a good kid.
You did it right?”
“Give me one more chance.
It’s a child, isn’t it?”
“Ask me one last time.
Say it yourself or let your parents investigate?
Wait until my parents run out of patience,
then you will be punished more severely.”
with the increase of age,
not only do we not learn to admit mistakes,
but it becomes more difficult to admit mistakes.
Research psychology proves,
the three words that people find it most difficult to say are
“I was wrong”,
followed by “sorry”.
Why do people refuse to admit their mistakes?
Analysis from a psychological perspective,
there are mainly three factors:
1. Don’t want to deny yourself
In everyone’s heart,
there is a need to affirm,
prove their ego,
hope to show their worth in front of everyone.
Admitting mistakes means denying yourself,
which causes people to develop a feeling of failure.
2. Self-esteem protection
This is the “face” issue that we often talk about.
People mistakenly consider “admit fault” as a loss of face,
so even though we know we are wrong,
we must also try to save face,
even if we die,
we will not admit it.
3. Fear of taking on responsibility
If you do something wrong,
of course you have to take some responsibility.
But responsibility often makes people feel pressured,
people are afraid of being punished for their mistakes,
so they are determined to hide their mistakes.
However, mistakes in life won’t go away
because we don’t admit it.
On the contrary,
they will take away more and more things around us,
for example, the respect of the director,
the trust of friends.
And error will not exaggerate the seriousness when admitted,
it exists objectively.
On the contrary,
it was discovered,
admitting mistakes will bring even more benefits.
the Tory method (Tory law) shows that,
admitting mistakes are one’s greatest source of strength.
It is only by looking directly at the mistake that
-we get things beyond the mistake.
Tory, the former director of the Bank of Tennessee,
“Admitting mistakes is a person’s greatest source of strength,
looking right at the wrong will get the harvest outside of the mistake.”
This is the famous Tory method in business management.
After the US embassy’s rescue action in Iran failed,
the whole US fell into a state of anger,
people felt that
the government was powerless
and lost faith in the government.
At that time,
US President Jimmy Carter,
under heavy public pressure,
sincerely apologized on television:
“All responsibility belongs to me.”
At first glance,
it seems like a simple statement,
but it is like a fire of hope,
lighting up the faith in public opinion.
The president’s approval rating suddenly increased to 10%.
Based on Tory rules,
the president admitting mistakes is also building the image
of a responsible and intelligent leader for himself.
He won the trust and respect of the masses,
and also won the admiration of his subordinates.
As a leader,
you must have the courage to admit mistakes,
which will give employees a sense of security and trust;
and employees too,
bravely admit responsibility,
do not blame others,
so can get the attention
and sympathy of the leader.
Minh Quang is the company’s accountant,
in charge of distributing salaries to employees.
due to negligence,
he distributed 1 month’s salary
to the whole year to an employee
who applied for sick leave.
After discovering the mistake,
Minh Quang sincerely expressed his apology
and said that he had to recover the overpaid salary.
But this employee cleverly told him
In the immediate future,
this money needs to be used for economic purposes,
so it is not possible to pay the excess salary
but deduct it monthly.
Minh Quang is awkward,
he sympathizes with this employee
but is afraid of not matching the books,
the director will be angry.
Finally he said to the employee:
“I can’t decide on this,
I need to ask the director.”
Quang took the initiative to meet with the director,
frankly admitting his negligence,
and at the same time clarifying the situation in front of him.
the director was extremely angry,
berating the human resources department
and the finance department for poor coordination,
so this mistake happened,
and simultaneously blamed two of Quang’s colleagues.
He ran out of explanations:
“It’s not their fault,
it’s all my responsibility.”
Before Minh Quang’s persistence,
the new director was a little less angry.
He became interested in this brave young man taking on the responsibility,
so he said,
“Well, if it’s your fault that you persisted,
then you deal with it now!”
In the end,
Minh Quang got the forgiveness of the director
and followed the request of the other employee
to deduct the monthly salary,
and the salary distribution did not appear any more errors.
the director respected him even more,
and the other employee also expressed his gratitude to him.
Based on the Tory method,
Minh Quang admits his mistake is also the time
to gain the trust of the director,
the appreciation of his colleagues
and a good predestined relationship.
Research psychologists show that
the best time to admit mistakes
and express guilt is ten minutes
within two days of the “hurtful mistake” forming,
at which time it is advisable
to express sincerely apologize
to the injured or damaged party.
Apologizing too quickly will give the other party a feeling of insincerity,
thinking that you are simply overdoing the matter
and not sincerely admitting your fault;
If the time is too long,
the other party will feel that
your sense of responsibility is too poor,
this impression once formed,
the relationship between you
and the people around you will become more difficult.
Humans are not saints,
so it is impossible not to make mistakes.
Making mistakes is not scary,
scary is that we do not find the fault,
do not dare to admit it.
(1) Admitting mistakes must be timely
Only by timely admitting our mistakes can we reduce our losses
to the lowest level in the shortest time.
If we don’t make it in time,
we won’t be able to save the damage.
(2) Be aware of the nature of the mistake
We must be aware of the nature of our mistakes,
admit our mistakes,
and at the same time have a corrective attitude,
take it as a lesson,
and don’t make the same mistake again next time.
Lesson 4: Control your dignity,
don’t let it inflate you
It is said that young people now go to work to wear branded clothes,
choose many star hotels in hotels,
their salaries are meager,
but they live a luxurious life.
There is a girl who,
because she bought a branded coat,
did not regret spending half a year’s salary to buy it,
and then stayed at home to eat instant noodles for a month
until her body was thin,
her face pale,
others looking at it,
I thought she was holding her waist.
Keeping your waist to the point of stomach pain,
is this worth it?
Honor is a very scary psychology of people,
people often arise conflicts because of face.
Reality proves that normal social relations will be lost because of honor.
Psychology by definition,
honor is a psychological state that
uses improper methods to protect one’s self-esteem excessively.
The mentality of dignity is that only people borrow external decoration
to make up for the lack of intrinsic substance,
thereby gaining the attention and respect of others.
Some people picture it as distorted self-esteem.
The modes of expression of honor are varied:
Exaggerating one’s status,
boasting of powerful relatives;
The family is poor,
but spends money to show they are rich;
boasting of one’s own talents excessively,
do not understand pretending to understand,
just like to be praised
and do not like to be criticized;
commit the mistake of refusing to admit,
easily jealous of people who are better than themselves,
go around digging up other people’s private stories,
The French philosopher Bergson has a quote:
“Fairness is difficult to say is a bad act,
but it is the cause of all bad deeds,
becoming a means of vain gratification.”
Honor harms people who harm themselves,
there are many harmful effects:
1. Leads to personality problems
Honor will make people sensitive,
weak and lonely.
It “decorates” you with an appearance like gold
but makes you ashamed
because of an empty interior inside.
Once people talk behind their backs
or look at the honorable person for a while,
they will doubt whether they have been discovered.
The honorable person outside talks endlessly,
but when he is alone,
he begins to be vague,
unable to find the true sense of existence.
a feeling of long-term suppression arises,
which is even harmful to health.
2. Impact on communication
In etiquette, most people will not like people who like to show off,
like to show off.
They give others a feeling of being insincere,
unable to pour their heart out.
Honor is often accompanied by lies,
while lies have loopholes,
until one day it is revealed,
all the people you deceive will spit on your morality.
3. Attacking the belief in striving
A person who is lost
and immersed in a beautiful fantasy world will lose faith in the reality
in front of him.
there are people who fantasize every day that
they are a big luxury boss,
but in life are just a hard worker.
This psychological difference will make people not dare to face reality,
lose motivation to rise up.
Honor is a flower garden in the air,
beautiful but dangerous,
you can build it very high,
but a house without a foundation,
so it will not stand for long.
You think that investing a lot of energy in that
flower garden will pay off,
but when all the fantasies are exposed,
you will not be able to bear it anymore,
so everything will turn to zero.
Honor is a poisonous snake in everyone’s heart.
So, how can we control its destructive power?
A person who is honest,
and has reasonable values will understand what true self-esteem is.
Positions obtained through flattery,
fawning will be pointed behind their backs,
that is not dignity;
property gained through harming friends,
losing precious friendships,
that is not sanctity;
majesty thanks to self-flagellation,
that is not dignity.
Dignity is based on your own efforts in exchange for results,
using a sincere attitude in exchange for friendship,
seeing yourself with a noble attitude,
only then will others treat you with the same attitude.
2. Build a beautiful ideal
People with ideals will pursue the richness
and perfection of the spiritual world,
thereby diverting attention,
not pursuing vanity and fame.
The ideal is the most precious asset in life,
it makes the human soul pure,
the will is steadfast.
In speech psychology,
ideals can unleash one’s potential to the greatest extent.
People without ideals are easy to lose their way in material desires,
only taking money,
fame and fortune as a signpost,
this signboard can be found in four directions and eight directions.
3. Not influenced by public opinion
Many women like to complain at home that
someone in the office has a new home buyer,
a class meeting has someone wearing a big diamond.
They like to compare themselves
with people who have an advantage over them,
resulting in a feeling of psychological imbalance,
and at the same time passing this negative emotion on to their loved ones.
this method is very ridiculous,
how other people live is completely unrelated to me.
This meaningless comparison will cause you to fall into self-doubt
and then transmit this negative mood to your loved ones,
bring unnecessary pressure to the family,
and cause controversy.
We just need to keep a simple heart,
live our lives well,
and we can avoid afflictions and harm those who harm us.
4. Find your strengths
Honor makes people lose themselves,
makes people pursue illusory goodness in the world of fame and gain,
but they themselves do not have the ability to be good,
honest and good.
It is very easy to make people lose their psychological balance.
Another downside of honor is that
it makes people easy to become pessimistic and disappointed.
There are people who spend a lot of time and energy to weave a beautiful,
after waking up to find nothing,
can’t help but ask themselves
“Who am I?”,
“How am I?” …
we want to control our face,
first love ourselves,
know how to discover our own strengths,
not rely on vanity to enhance our self-worth and sense of vanity.
Honor is not conducive to our growth,
but if we can lead it in the right way,
it will turn it into a driving force.
So, how should we view dignity?
(1) Seeing face properly
Everyone aspires to fame, success,
status and self-respect,
but this must be matched with one’s own genuine efforts.
If we are too honorable,
we will not receive the respect of others but will also be despised.
(2) Know yourself well
We must not overestimate ourselves,
we must see our own shortcomings,
so that we can overcome the mentality of dignity.
Lesson 5: Take care of others but do not invade privacy
In the newspaper,
there was a news as follows:
There was a junior high school student who sued his parents
because of his diary being peeked,
and eventually won the case.
In fact, the content of the diary is very pure,
just the pressure of exams and pure emotions.
The parents were surprised and said:
“Doing such a big thing,
is it necessary?
What’s so private about children?”
Then lamented bitterly:
“Nowadays the standard of living is so high,
children grow up early.
If the little ones know how to keep their distance
from their parents,
what else can be expected from them in the future?”
In fact, this thinking is not conducive to the good development
of the parent-child relationship.
Privacy is confidential information that
people do not want to reveal to others.
Everyone has it,
regardless of age.
Especially with children,
they feel that their freedom is inherently very little,
so in their hearts,
what they feel is precious is those privacy,
it represents personal space. personality,
even a respectful personality.
Once the adult touches it arbitrarily,
it will cause resistance in the hearts of children,
they will feel that they are not respected,
robbed of a little autonomy.
psychologists have found that adults are sensitive introverts,
many of whom have had their parents peek into their privacy.
This makes them more
and more focused on their private space after growing up,
not wanting to share it with others,
so it’s easier for them to keep a secret in their hearts,
refusing to reveal it to everyone,
leading to problems in communication,
being separated from people,
and feeling lonely.
the symbolic meaning of privacy is very much,
In everyone’s heart,
they hope to keep a little space for themselves,
this comes from protecting protect the natural ego.
Privacy does not have to be a big deal,
a small thing is not worth mentioning to you
but in the heart of another person weighs a thousand pounds,
is as precious as a treasure
or as dangerous as a dynamite.
the distance in communication should not be too far nor too close,
grasping an appropriate distance is extremely important.
Think for a moment,
on an overcrowded bus,
people jostled and pushed,
the person next to you was not careful enough to step on your foot.
In this situation,
will you feel very uncomfortable,
want to quickly get to the dock?
A stranger who doesn’t say a word
but quietly sits down next to you,
does that mean you’ll immediately raise your guard?
Research in psychology proves that
communication requires distance,
and beauty is born from distance.
People will base on the level of intimacy
with the opponent to adjust the spatial distance
when next to the opponent.
This distance is called the communication distance.
For example to someone we hate,
we would say
“Please stay within a meter of me!”
With the person we like,
we can hold hands,
hug and kiss.
But close people need to keep their distance,
leave some private space,
so they can turn around,
can rest and talk.
This spatial reciprocity makes it easier to maintain long-term harmony.
Modern society places special emphasis on individual privacy.
A reporter interviewed a home buyer:
“Why do you work so hard to buy a house?”
“It is to have a free space that belongs to you,
so that you will be comfortable
and feel safe.
There’s no need to jostle with others in a toilet,
no need to cook rice in a public kitchen,
even eating carrots and greens can be seen by others,
nothing is private.”
In life, everywhere is private.
Don’t knock on the door
entering someone else’s room will make others feel that
you are rude and offensive;
women’s weight is not asked,
age is not asked;
Do not read other people’s messages without permission,
because it is impolite.
Psychologists come up with an interesting formula:
Suitcase plus refrigerator equals personal privacy.
Can you understand the feeling of shame when inviting a guest
to his house, he opens the refrigerator
by himself and finds a dirty bowl in it?
And the feeling of anger
when he arbitrarily rummaged
through your suitcase in your room
and found a yellowed love letter still considered a treasure by you?
some young people are curious about everything,
like to ask to the end.
At the same time,
there are people
who have a hobby of digging into other people’s private stories,
even considering talking about private things as a condition
and criterion for friendship.
This type of person is easy to hate.
If you can keep a little bit for others,
withdraw your curiosity,
and care for others appropriately,
you will gain the other’s trust
the other person will actively treat you sincerely.
The company has a new female colleague named Ha Vu.
She has a lively personality,
likes to help others,
and has a very good relationship with colleagues.
But she has a strange point that
she never eats with colleagues.
People were talking behind their backs:
“Didn’t Xia Yu have an infectious disease?”
The more she spoke,
the more suspicious she became,
and people deliberately distanced themselves from her.
Once, Ngoc Lan had a cold
and went to the hospital to get an injection,
and she often saw Ha Vu walking out from there with a pale face.
Ngoc Lan went to help her and didn’t ask any questions.
Later in the company,
Ngoc Lan took special care of Ha Vu.
Ha Vu asked her:
“You met me at the hospital,
why didn’t you ask me what illness I had?
Unlike everyone at the company,
suspect you have an infectious disease?”
Ngoc Lan smiled and said:
“If you want to talk to me,
you will naturally say it.
You look like you have that kind of spirit,
unlike a sick person.”
Ha Vu was very touched,
then took the initiative to tell Ngoc Lan
that that time her mother was sick in the hospital,
so she was very worried,
so she took advantage of the lunch break
to go to the hospital to see her mother’s condition.
I didn’t want everyone in the company to know about it,
so I didn’t say it.
From then on,
Ha Vu felt that Ngoc Lan was a very trustworthy person,
the two became close friends,
The above example tells us that
in order to shorten the distance between two parties,
we must first give the other party the right
to keep their distance.
We have to let the other person feel warm
and safe before the other person takes the initiative to open his heart.
No one wants their privacy to be violated.
If we know how to remove the following mentality,
we will not touch other people’s privacy anymore:
(1) Don’t be too curious
Many people are overly curious,
especially wanting to know other people’s private affairs,
using every means to probe.
(2) Do not assume that you know more than others
because they want to brag to others that
they “know more”,
go to listen
and propagate other people’s private stories
to show that they are very brave.