How To Say Welcome, How To Be Appreciated
Chapter 8: Get to know others in a minute
Part 2: How It Has Been Received
Lesson 1: Be a person with a heart,
learn to probe through words and facial expressions
In detective movies,
the following scene often appears:
When the victim’s loved one is grieving,
the corner of his mouth involuntarily opens a smile.
That smile was discovered by the detective,
from which suspicion arose.
Facial expressions show the inner workings of people,
it will cause crooks to unintentionally reveal secrets in their hearts.
Detectives are not magicians,
they are just subtle and good observers in life.
The example below tells us that examining our thoughts
and facial expressions will help us a lot while working.
Mr. Tu came to apply for a business.
During the interview,
he discovered that
the HR manager of this business kept spinning the pen in his hand,
and at the same time,
he would drink a sip of tea every few sentences he said,
and the suit also opened and unbuttoned.
Thereby Anh Tu judged,
the personality of this human resource manager is quite open,
working is also quite arbitrary.
People like this don’t like people
who introduce themselves in a rigid
and overconfident manner.
So Anh Tu decided to use the open method to introduce himself,
not to read the resume.
When leaving the room,
Anh Tu also praised the manager:
“Your pen spinning is so sublime!”
In the end,
Anh Tu was the first to be recruited
because of his excellence in the way
he looked at his intentions through words
and facial expressions.
Research by social psychologists shows that:
When people communicate with each other,
7% of the effectiveness depends on the content of the talk,
38% depends on the voice,
and 55% depends on the body language.
It can be seen that
when trying to understand the intentions
and psychology of the other party,
it is not only necessary to listen to what he says,
but more importantly,
to hear what he says.
It can be seen that in communication,
knowing how to “probe through words and facial expressions”
is an extremely important skill.
if you talk to the other side with your face covered,
what will happen?
You will definitely feel nervous,
because you can’t tell the other person’s facial expressions at all,
the words that reach your ears seem
to be iron bars without warmth,
so you don’t know if it’s genuine or fake.
A psychologist once had an interesting description as follows:
If the client’s eyes are looking down,
and his face is turned to the left,
it means you are rejected;
if his mouth is relaxed,
there is no stiff polite smile,
his jaw is pointed upwards,
it means he is thinking about your suggestion;
If he pays attention to your eyes,
the corners of his mouth smile comfortably,
even reaching his nose,
it shows that he is very interested in your words,
this exchange is very hopeful.
the Mehrabian principle is that a person always tries
to leave a good impression on others.
This completely depends on the content of the talk,
body movements and postures
and tone of the opponent when talking.
When we talk to other people,
it is possible to use the Mehrabian principle
to probe the meaning through words and facial expressions.
When you face the customer,
if his eyes do not change and he is not paying attention,
it means that he is not very interested in your offer,
you should try to change the subject.
When you want to ask someone to do a job,
he says yes but his face shows unsightly,
then you should know that this is difficult for him,
you can try asking someone else,
and at the same time thank him for his good intentions,
He will surely breathe a sigh of relief
and appreciate your understanding.
Exploring ideas through words
and facial expressions also plays a very important role in work.
A social psychologist has said:
“Exploring intentions through speech
and facial expressions is one of the most important emotional quotient capabilities.”
When you face the leader,
the leader tells you to continue
but his eyebrows are furrowed,
showing that the leader is no longer interested in your topic of conversation,
you should stop at the right time;
and if he tells you to talk a lot
but the corners of his mouth smile,
it shows that in his heart he thinks that
you have spoken his heart,
your anxiety can be eased.
In life, we see guys confessing to their girlfriends nervously bowing their heads,
but they can’t help but sneak a peek at the girl’s face;
When we anger our friends,
we often say a lot of jokes to comfort each other,
but the other person coldly says “it’s okay”,
in fact there is a “problem”.
Facial expressions are like clouds in the sky,
which can predict “mood”.
knowing how to “probe through words
and facial expressions” is a courtesy,
a respect for others,
and an opportunity for yourself.
people who know how to probe through words
and facial expressions,
who know how to look at the wind and
sail will always be loved by everyone,
so how do we make others love ourselves?
(1) Observe and satisfy the other’s needs
In daily life,
it’s best to pay attention a little,
think for each other a little.
We need to be sensitive even to small details,
see clearly the needs of the other person,
and at the same time satisfy this need of the other person.
(2) Listen to the conversation topic mentioned by the other party
Through the topic that the other person talks about,
we can see what kind of person they are.
It is easy for people to inadvertently express their true feelings
so we can use that to quickly see through the personality,
and thoughts of the other person.
Lesson 2: Through simple conversation,
see through the other’s psychology
Mr. Vuong was walking on the square at the train station,
suddenly saw a wallet,
just bent down to pick it up,
a person walked up to him and said:
let’s split it in half!”
Mr. Vuong suddenly thought,
maybe this is a genuine scammer.
He was about to open his wallet to see
if the money in it was real or fake when the other said,
don’t look here!”
Vuong believes in his judgment even more,
Go find the police,
hand them over.”
Brother Vuong stared at the other man,
watching his reaction.
The man’s eyes were deceitful,
and he said:
“I wonder if there is real money inside,
isn’t it for the police?”
Mr. Vuong said:
“Then give it to the police.”
The other went on to say,
“You have half of me anyway,
you can’t own it alone.
It’s crowded now,
it’s not convenient to see how many,
you can give me a little bit.”
Vuong saw that person said that,
without thinking for long,
he immediately threw the wallet
he had just picked up to the other party
and turned to leave.
there are many similar phenomena.
Scammers often think of ways to get money out of your pocket.
Vuong’s vigilance made him step through this trap.
Judging from the opponent’s words,
Mr. Vuong immediately guessed that
the other party was waiting for the money in his wallet,
plus his deceitful eyes,
Mr. Vuong identified the identity of the opponent,
so it was fast mind to get out of that trap.
Language is the most important communication tool in life,
through language can reflect one’s true inner thoughts,
– a famous American psychologist pointed out that,
people convey a complete information to the other person,
55% based on facial expressions,
38% based on voice expressions,
only 7% rely on words.
The conclusion of Mehrabian’s experiments proves that
human speech and gestures can reflect a person’s personality,
temperament and psychological state in communicating information.
We were walking on the road,
a person came up to us,
smiling and said to us:
“Sir, sorry to bother you a little.”
Sincere, respectful tone,
at first glance like someone who has been professionally trained
or a habit that has been formed for a long time.
We can initially identify,
eighty percent of these people are recommending the product to us.
If we stop to listen to the other side,
the other side will talk endlessly about how good their product is.
Even if the conversation is very short,
even ten seconds,
we can still know their intentions.
Contacting a person,
we can see that every word,
even their demeanor can reveal their true inner thoughts,
especially someone who has done a certain profession in the past for long time.
We can judge a person’s occupation by their posture,
We can also recognize the social
or environmental status someone displays through cautious gestures,
and noble demeanor.
there are people who,
when talking to others,
like to call themselves “me”,
especially when they first talk,
always use the same tone:
These people open up.
If their mouth is to emphasize themselves,
it can be seen that they are very confident people,
and their ambitions are also quite big.
On TV or in the newspaper,
some big characters when talking,
in each sentence they use a lot of the word “I”.
When we interact with others,
it is possible through observing the speaker’s use of personal pronouns
to reveal their true personality.
when talking to other people,
often use “we…”
Through the mild tone and way of addressing,
we can understand that the other party is intending
to shorten the distance between the two parties.
When we talk to business leaders or some officials,
the other person talks endlessly,
through which we can judge their anxious psychological state.
when interacting with others,
open their mouth
and say dozens of confusing words or foreign languages,
we can judge that the other person is using language
to cover up their weaknesses.
The reason he said that,
the main purpose is to strengthen the power of words,
and at the same time to show himself wide knowledge,
deliberately raise his status,
expand his influence.
At the same time,
to show himself wide knowledge,
deliberately raise his status,
expand his influence.
In addition to the content of the conversation that
can see a person’s inner thoughts,
we can also judge the other’s inner thoughts
through the speed and tone of the conversation.
An ordinary person who is quiet and quiet,
suddenly becomes good at talking,
then there must be something secret in his heart,
he is trying to hide something.
People who are confident
when talking often use affirmations,
while people who are not confident
or have a soft personality,
the tempo is quite slow,
and the voice is low.
Someone who is speaking likes to use ambiguous language and tone,
which may indicate that
he is afraid of taking on responsibility.
They often use sentences like “this is just my personal opinion”,
“in a way”, “roughly so…”…
We can use the other person’s tone to understand their inner thoughts.
Chopin once said,
“When one wants to refute the other’s opinion,
the simplest method is to raise the voice – raise the tone.”
In fact, many people rely on adjusting the pitch of their voices
to flaunt their prestige,
wanting to overwhelm the opponent.
we can also through the way we talk,
and talk rhythms to see through the psychology of others.
People communicate with each other need language,
spoken language is the “pen” to draw portraits of themselves.
Language can express a person’s occupation,
and level of understanding,
so through simple communication,
we can understand the psychology of others.
So, when communicating with others,
how should we rely on the words
between the two parties to learn their psychology?
You can think from the following points:
1) In the way of saying that often focuses on self,
this type of person has a rather large sense of ego.
2) Likes to discuss other people’s information and rumors,
this type of person has a lonely feeling in his heart.
3) Likes to hear about others,
mostly because they want to know a lot of the opponent’s shortcomings
to control the opponent.
4) Constantly reprimanding others for their mistakes,
showing that they often have ideas that
are superior to others but lack reality.
5) When talking,
often do not like other people to interrupt,
this type of person does not want to be below others.
6) When a person avoids a certain topic in an extreme way,
it shows that he or she is deeply inspired by the topic.
Lesson 3: Beware of the “arrow” behind the smile
There is an old saying:
“You can’t have thoughts of harming people,
but you can’t help
-but be wary of others.”
Behind the smile is not necessarily goodwill,
the person who opens his mouth
to say “friend” is not necessarily a true friend.
Therefore, we need to be careful
when making friends,
not to look at the outside phenomenon,
but to see it from the inside.
it is very likely that
we will be harmed by the “man with a man’s mouth,
a dagger’s belly”,
Thanh Hang has met such a situation.
Recently, Thanh Hang’s mood was very bad,
she could not expect that Thu An
– her good sister would treat her like that.
When Thu An first came to the company,
Thanh Hang had worked here for two years,
holding the position of department manager.
Thanh Hang herself is an enthusiastic and kind person,
with newcomer Thu An,
she always guides and helps a lot,
quickly helping Thu An get used to the work at the company.
Thu An is also very grateful,
always calling Thanh Hang “sister”.
Despite calling it that,
the two are only a year apart in age,
and they both feel very compatible.
Many times when the two sisters go out to have fun,
Thu An is often surprised to exclaim:
“Wow! We have so much in common!”
Their friendship in the eyes of everyone is like two sisters.
Two people walking together,
nothing is not talking to each other.
Thu An told Thanh Hang the little secrets in life,
which made Thanh Hang feel more trusted.
When the two talked,
Thu An also unintentionally asked Thanh Hang about some secrets at work.
Thanh Hang also did not take precautions,
just considered that Thu An wanted to learn,
so she told her everything she knew.
A year later,
a business of the company was taken by the partner company.
In the company,
there is information that the secret disclosure
to the competitor this time is in charge of the person
in the department that Thanh Hang manages.
The director was angry to find Thanh Hang to reprimand,
she felt very unfair.
When she returned home,
she remembered carefully,
these secrets she only told Thu An,
so she looked for Thu An to ask for clarity.
Thu An submitted a resignation letter
and came to work for a partner company.
It turned out that
she was the spy sent by the other party.
The company’s losses were great,
Thanh Hang also had no face to continue to stay in the company,
so he had to take the initiative to submit a resignation letter.
This is a huge shock to Thanh Hang,
mainly emotional damage.
She feels the friendship that she sincerely cultivates
Others consider it a tool to take advantage of.
Thu An is not Thanh Hang’s “best friend”,
it’s just that Thanh Hang handled emotionally,
confused friends and colleagues,
so she fell into other people’s traps.
Since Thu An had tricked her into getting “secret information”,
she should have been on high alert.
“Stereotype effect” means:
When we see a person,
we often base our judgment on the other person’s appearance
and behavioral characteristics,
and use our intuition to judge them.
For that person,
such a judgment is easy to be inaccurate.
Some young people who have just started working,
often rely on the principle of sincere friendship to treat others,
are too naive,
not mentally alert,
especially in the face of the “onslaught of friendship”,
ready to take all the guts to confide in the opponent.
once betrayed by his friends,
will feel pain,
like being pierced by thousands of arrows in the heart,
remembering the previous innocence and kindness,
feeling regret and regret.
Duy Nghia is a new employee in the room,
because he has just arrived at the company,
he wants to leave a good impression,
so he tries to satisfy everyone’s requirements.
He does chores,
cleaning tables and chairs…
In general, whoever asks him to do it.
The former employees also considered this to be normal
and bothered him a lot,
the errands of the past were now “transferred” to him.
Duy Nghia did not find it difficult,
by the way,
if someone taught him some experience
he would be even more excited.
Duy Nghia was the last to return.
Right when Duy Nghia was extremely tired,
Manh Thang came over and said:
“Duy Nghia, you have worked so hard,
why haven’t you done it yet?”
Duy Nghia forced a smile and said:
“There’s no way,
I don’t have experience,
a lot of technical things I still don’t understand.”
Manh Thang enthusiastically guided Duy Nghia,
Duy Nghia happily solved the problem
and was moved to consider Manh Thang as a “master”.
Manh Thang also smiled
and accepted this “disciple”,
and in the following period,
Manh Thang often guided Duy Nghia on technical issues.
Duy Nghia was extremely touched,
always thinking to do something to repay his “master”.
Not long after, Duy Nghia had the opportunity to repay.
Manh Thang suddenly complained that
his family had economic difficulties,
then hesitated to ask Duy Nghia to help with some work.
As it turned out,
Manh Thang wanted Duy Nghia to sign a contract instead,
saying that a customer who had already refused him agreed,
but now he feels embarrassed,
now the economy in the house is difficult,
so he had to ask Duy Nghia to come out. help.
Duy Nghia also did not think much,
accepted the word without hesitation.
As a result,
this contract was known by the company,
so the “customer” here is the person of the competing company,
they gave Manh Thang a sum of money,
told him to do his own work.
Manh Thang was afraid of being discovered,
so he looked for Duy Nghia to be a pawn to give his life.
As a result,
when Duy Nghia was fired by the company,
Manh Thang appeared cold and unrelated,
which made Duy Nghia extremely bitter,
and immediately exposed Manh Thang.
Manh Thang proved innocent,
Duy Nghia also had no evidence,
so he left angrily.
people like Duy Nghia are very easily taken advantage of,
those who take advantage of them give a little favor,
then when they have the opportunity to make full use of it,
this behavior is really shameless.
if we are careful about everything,
look at the person who looks at the job carefully,
or ask a few questions:
“Why is he suddenly being so kind to me?
Is it possible that after giving the favor,
he will quickly ask for something in return,
what is the nature of the return,
will it affect his interests?”
there will be no unfortunate mistakes happening.
“Night Beast’s face” is the scariest,
you’ve been eaten
before you know what it’s like.
Dealing with this type of two-faced person,
shooting arrows in the back,
this nefarious scheme,
we must pay attention:
Public and private must clarify,
not to reveal everything to the other party;
when the other party is unreasonably enthusiastic or excessive,
you have to stay calm;
In case we do not fully understand the enemy’s qualities,
we must not agree to their request,
because it is most likely a trap.
It is impossible not to be wary of others.
When interacting with other people,
we must pay attention to moderation,
not be too intimate,
reveal private things,
prevent others from harming.
So, what should we do?
(1) Improvise, quickly make the problem invisible
When we encounter the arrow of the “night beast” man,
we must not act rigidly,
but must improvise
and quickly make the problem disappear.
(2) Self-defense training
We must learn to protect ourselves,
Lesson 4: How to listen to words,
understand the meaning
When people first communicate with each other,
they often focus on politeness.
People force their own true intentions,
rely on themselves to clarify their intentions.
does not speak directly,
usually just to show politeness and politeness,
because telling the truth will cause both of them
to lose their peace and become awkward.
people with good social relations are those
who know how to grasp the “meanings outside of words”.
They can accurately understand the meaning,
well grasp the other’s mind,
make the other person feel extremely considerate,
thoughtful and want to communicate with them.
People who don’t understand other people’s “implicit ideas”
It will often be said by others:
“I’ve already said that explicitly,
but he doesn’t even understand,
what an idiot!”
The “radiation effect” refers to the fact that
we often rely on our words,
behavior and psychology to speculate on others,
thinking that if we are like that,
then surely the other person also has similar characteristics
that is the reflection of emotions,
wills, and characteristics of oneself to others.
During a conversation,
if the other person says
“I feel a bit tired”,
then you need to see
if there is a topic of your conversation
that is too boring,
and then stop promptly;
When going to someone else’s house,
if the host says
“You’re home this late,
are your family worried?”
then you should know that what people mean is to want to rest,
it’s time to say goodbye.
If at that time you happily say:
I don’t come home all night and no one is worried.”
Then the owner will definitely break out in a cold sweat,
and won’t dare to invite you to play again next time.
if during the conversation,
you still don’t really understand,
then after the conversation,
you can ask and explain.
However, at work,
if you misunderstand the leader’s intentions,
it will cause trouble
and affect your future because of that misunderstanding.
Duy Binh recently worked in a small company
and soon got a very good working record.
Preparing for the final assessment,
the director called him to the office to talk.
The director laughed and said:
you have worked very hard for half a year,
this I understand.”
Duy Binh shyly said:
“Thank you, director,
for the compliment.”
The director told Duy Binh to sit down and said:
“I see you as a very capable young man.
The scale of our company is not too big,
do you have any further plans?”
Seeing that Duy Binh did not speak,
the director said:
just consider me as a friend.”
Duy Binh felt that the director was very simple
and easy to approach,
suddenly the mood was much more comfortable,
thinking that the director told him to talk about his future plans,
surely he liked people with ideals and ambitions,
so he started talking about our ideals,
hoping to have a bigger space to grow,
even talking about working for a transnational company.
The director’s expression gradually changed,
until finally he interrupted Duy Binh softly:
“Come on, you go out!”
Duy Binh originally thought that
this intimate conversation was the criterion for selecting him
as an “advanced employee” in the final evaluation,
but the director chose another person,
even though this person did not have any symptoms.
What an excellent show.
the director originally intended to choose Duy Binh,
but the problem was that after that talk,
the director realized that Duy Binh was a childish,
especially when he presented expressed
“hope to have a larger development space”,
“if he has expressed his desire to change jobs,
why should I train for someone else”,
the director thought.
If Duy Binh is a smart person,
it’s not that he can’t grasp the director’s intentions.
The director who tells you to talk about “ideal” just wants you
to show enthusiasm for the job.
The director told you to say “future plans”
and at the same time said inquiringly:
“The size of the company is small,
I’m afraid I can’t keep people like you”,
that is to ask the level of loyalty to the company,
You should just say something like this:
“I feel the company’s potential for growth is huge,
so many companies invite me,
but this is the only place I want to stop.”
A lot of young people are not used to people who “talk around”,
feel that their move is too fake,
so in a small situation,
they make the mistake of “too honest,
ask what to answer
say that” like Duy Binh.
After making a mistake,
some people felt regret
and at the same time couldn’t help but blame:
“This is a company,
isn’t it a program that chases pictures
without having to guess like that,
it’s really roundabout.
This proves that the social experience of these people is not enough,
they do not know the meaning of the leader,
but this is the first step to protect themselves in a complex society.
You ask others:
“Is this option okay?”
“I’m not sure it’s enforceable,”
The main implication is
“I feel like it’s completely not right.”
You ask others:
“Can it be done today?”
He said, “Maybe, if you do more.”
The main implication is
“The task is too much,
can’t be done.”
When the other person says to you,
“I think you should go ask someone else’s opinion” is to say,
“Don’t bother me anymore.”
The person who works best in the room is the one who knows
how to grasp the ideas of others:
Understand the requirements
leaders, understand the opinions of colleagues,
know the needs of customers.
In particular, understanding customer needs is a necessary skill of salespeople.
There’s a customer catchphrase that salespeople should understand:
“Okay, let me think.”
This is the “delay plan” of most customers,
also a clever refusal before the clingy salesman.
At this point,
the salesperson should not think that
the customer is thinking about spending real money,
but should think about where he is not doing well.
There is a customer who likes to say the opposite,
he criticizes your product’s price as expensive,
“Your product is really both beautiful and cheap.”
At that time you should explain:
“The production cost is quite high”,
and see if you can give a discount.
If you think customers are really satisfied,
seem very proud,
and even prepare mentally to wait for customers
to spend money to buy,
it can be said that you are too slow to understand.
The saying “birds are afraid of bent branches” is
to describe the fear and timidity of humans.
we always need to listen carefully,
find the hidden meaning in each other’s words,
capture the opponent’s thoughts,
thereby making the right decision.
The ancients have a saying “the mind is in the foreign language”,
which means that the mind is outside the word;
only implied things,
not said directly,
listeners have to infer
and understand for themselves.
how should we judge the enemy’s hidden meanings?
(1) Through intonation,
judge implicit meaning
If a person raises his voice when talking,
we can judge that he is in a state of excitement,
sometimes even surprise.
if the vocal range is low,
we will think that this person is in an angry state.
(2) Based on life experience and circumstances to judge the hidden meaning
In daily life, when other people talk,
we have to pay attention to observe the reactions
of the people around us,
see which response is better.
Later, in a similar situation,
we can borrow other people’s methods
so that one word can get many results.
Lesson 5: Don’t let others know that you understand their thoughts
Not letting others find out that you understand their thoughts,
deliberately pretending to be stupid but not really stupid,
Using stupidity to fascinate the other party,
so that he can both make the other person find a way out,
can make the other person like him,
and at the same time can achieve his own goals.
Surely every salesperson has met a customer like this.
He went to the store no less than three times,
obviously really liked the product,
but still showed a picky attitude saying this place was not good,
and finally came to the conclusion:
“Here it is,
if the product has a defect points,
then charge me a little!”
At that time, if you say:
“This is the lowest price!”,
the customer immediately pouted his lips
to show his understanding:
“No, don’t think I don’t understand.
I’ve been to a few stores,
other people’s products are better quality,
and the prices are cheaper.
If you can’t sell it,
I’ll go to another store to buy it!”
A salesman who heard these words immediately became angry
and sarcastically opened his mouth:
“Then please go to another store to buy it,
if you can buy the same one for less,
buy one for me! ”
The customer left angrily,
and the salesman complained to his colleagues:
“What kind of man is he,
he’s about to trample the steps of our store,
and he still pretends to be a new customer.
If he finds such good stuff,
why not buy it at that store?”
In fact, that little bit of customer interest is very clear.
It’s just a lot of comparison,
found the best item,
but wanted to save some money,
so I tried to find the fault on your product,
then pretended to be an expert:
“There is a good selection than.”
If the salesperson insists on exposing this “trick” of the customer,
the customer will lose face,
no matter how much he likes the goods in your store,
he will leave angry.
Doing so for the salesperson is said to be one to lose ten.
It is said that the customer is god,
you follow God’s will,
silently neutralize God’s purpose,
then you are a wise person.
So, when you meet a customer like the one above,
the smart salesperson should try saying something like this:
“Oh, so what,
thank you for specifically visiting our store.
But this price is really low already,
the director said the original price,
I’m just a salesman,
can’t decide for myself.
Or let me help you ask the director?”
Thus, while saving face for the customer,
he made him secretly happy because of his “trick”.
you can pretend to negotiate the discount with the manager,
if you can,
then give it an appropriate offer,
and if it really doesn’t work,
the customer will understand.
this is already the lowest price in the stores,
so they may just want to find their way back and say:
“Okay, the store’s service attitude is very good,
so I buy it here.
Hope you guys still do well in the future.”
In psychology there is the “goldfishbow effect”.
This term comes from the fact that
the goldfish tank is made of glass with very high transparency,
viewed from any angle,
the inside can be seen very clearly.
In life, each person is like the customer mentioned above,
hoping to be able to appear smart
and understanding in front of others,
just like a magician can use a little trick
in front of an audience.
But if some of the little tricks that
your opponent thinks are right are easily exposed by you,
then he will feel like a clown on stage,
stupid and shameless,
and of course not have feelings for you.
Think about it,
when you’re talking about a novel that hasn’t come to an end,
the other person yawns and says:
“I watched it a long time ago,
the killer is him.”
You’re about to give someone a gift to surprise,
and you say mysteriously,
“Guess what I bought you?”
The person who received the gift immediately unwrapped the gift
“I knew it was this,
didn’t I ask you three times already.”
Will it make you feel hurt,
in your heart a feeling of disappointment?
This is like the fact that women tend to hang out with girls
who are less beautiful than themselves,
thereby enhancing their own beauty.
People tend to play with people
who are “stupid” than themselves,
thereby showing their intelligence,
and feeling that they will not be threatened.
Whether it’s a leader,
or someone else,
they don’t expect you to be smarter than them.
If you are so smart that
you can understand the other person’s mind at first glance,
then the other person will feel that he is vulnerable.
pretending to be stupid is an art.
The main object that you need to pretend to be stupid is your leader,
you definitely must not appear smarter than him.
Why did Cao Cao kill Duong Tu in the past?
It is because Duong Tu relies on his talent to despise people.
During the battle,
Cao Cao hesitated as to whether he should give up a territory
that he had attacked for a long time but did not win,
and while eating rice,
he shouted a meaningful “chicken breast” that
made The soldiers were all surprised.
Duong Tu smiled smugly
and explained to everyone:
“The prime minister’s point is that
this territory is like a chicken breast,
it’s not good to eat,
it’s a pity to give it up.”
Duong Tu’s statement caused confusion in the army,
and the soldiers were all ready to take off their helmets.
This word reached Cao Cao’s ears,
he thought to himself:
“Yang Tu, you are really walking clogs in my belly”,
from which there was a motive to kill.
It’s not that Cao Cao is jealous of talent,
but because Duong Tu is too smart,
can both understand people’s hearts,
and spread information without any cover,
this type of person often causes harm from the inside.
an employee who thinks he is smarter than the leader,
understands all the thoughts of the leader,
and even speaks his mind,
will make the leader feel very shameful.
In addition to pretending to be stupid with leaders,
you should also be with opponents.
There is a saying “A big tree attracts the wind”,
there are always jealous people standing behind you to harm you,
try to reduce the dense branches,
don’t show your talent in speech,
hurt your self-esteem of other people,
be a little slow and kind,
of course people will not direct their noses at you.
When facing an opponent,
pretend to be stupid,
pretend to be agreeable,
always respectfully so that the enemy won’t doubt,
then wait for the right time to find the enemy’s weak points,
that struck thunder.
If we see through the other person’s mind
but don’t point it out,
but pretend to be stupid,
then it’s easier to do the job.
So, when at work,
how should we pretend to be stupid?
(1) See through the other’s mind, do not brag
Obviously we know the other’s mind
but do not refute the other’s words,
do not show off our intelligence.
On the contrary,
the technique of representation must be appropriately concealed.
(2) Pretend not to know
We are not allowed to show our sharpness,
we can pretend that we do not hear
or do not hear the other’s words clearly,
through changing the subject to avoid awkward situations,
so that both of us do not feel inhibited.