How To Say Welcome, How To Be Appreciated
Chapter 7: Certain words must not be said
Lesson 1: Words that hurt one’s self-esteem
and lower the character of others should be taken with great caution
One day,
the company’s department manager came
to check on the employee’s work site.
When he checked,
he found that the staff did not do well,
he is normally a peaceful person,
but for some reason,
after he finished talking about the work problem,
he continued to say a few nonsense words hard to hear,
these words are clearly meant to insult the employee’s character.
The employees understand that
their job is not very good,
but they feel that the manager’s attitude towards them is a bit harsh.
They feel extremely repulsed by insulting words, so,
in order to protect their self-esteem,
an ordinary employee who has never rebutted said:
“I thought you said it is true,
but the truth is uncertain.”
After hearing this,
the manager was a little embarrassed,
but he didn’t explain anything,
but turned and left.
Originally,
the manager thought that
he was already very lenient with the employees,
but the employees felt that
the manager did not respect them.
In the days that followed,
the staff always caused a few minor inconveniences to the manager,
often talking badly about the manager behind his back,
when the manager directly talked to this employee,
the employee also did not tolerate it is more frankly.
This has created a lot of bad influence in the company,
invisible in general,
the good image of this manager also decreased in the hearts of employees
and superiors.
Abraham Maslow,
an American psychologist has shown that
respect is one of the most basic human needs.
The human need for respect includes inner respect
and outer respect.
In which the need for external respect is the hope of having status,
prestige,
receiving the respect,
trust and appreciation of others.
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs theory shows that,
in each person’s heart,
there is a desire to have the need for respect from others.
The need for external respect of people is the hope of status,
dignity,
respect,
trust and appreciation of others.
In the story above,
this manager failed to satisfy the employee’s need for external respect,
which resulted in the employee being hostile to him.
This story also reminds us that,
if we want to receive the respect of others,
we must first know how to respect them,
especially when talking,
we must not hurt our self-esteem,
lower our personality.
The people who give flowers around will all be fresh flowers,
the people who plant thorns around are also thorn bushes.
We respect others in our words,
of course others will also respect us;
If we hurt other people’s self-esteem,
demeaning other people’s personality,
it’s hard to get their respect back.
The ancients said:
“Praise for others,
as heavy as jewels;
words that hurt others,
as heavy as swords.”
However,
in life,
there are many people
who do not know how to respect others.
The mistakes they often make are:
Only caring about their own temporary pleasure,
every opportunity to comment on others,
completely ignoring the feelings in other people’s hearts.
Such people do not know how to respect anyone,
of course they will not receive the respect of everyone.
This behavior is like planting a seed of hatred in the hearts
of those around,
paving the way for disaster,
sooner or later will have to suffer.
An employee of a small enterprise quit
because of the director.
Find out the new reason discovered that
the director never respects them.
In the eyes of this director,
employees are like slaves,
treated very arbitrarily,
always yelling at employees.
“Minh Hang, bring the kettle here!”,
“Van Anh,
buy me a pack of cigarettes!”
“Duc Kien, look at what you’re doing,
the donkey can do better than you!”
What about the staff?
Everyone was resentful in their hearts,
doing negative things,
but the director completely ignored it.
Over time,
the employees “treason”,
and the director also suffers the consequences of not respecting others.
Each of us has to interact with others,
while interacting with others,
if we want to be welcomed,
we should sincerely care and respect them.
Everyone has self-esteem,
we want to build a good communication relationship with others,
we must first learn to respect others,
as well as protect their self-esteem.
The security guard of a company in the US criticized the low salary
and wanted to change jobs.
At that time,
the leader’s term ended,
and after the new chairman of the board took office,
the guard who was about to resign chose to stay
and was full of enthusiasm for the job.
Meanwhile,
the company has not increased the salary for this security guard,
the remuneration has not been improved,
the reason is that before the proposal of the chairman
of the board of directors,
the company’s employees changed their address security”
to “security specialist”.
Why is the guardian
stay? Because he feels the respect of the company,
from there he commits to volunteering to continue his work.
In life, when we work,
as long as we know how to respect others,
we can receive respect from them.
Respect is interaction,
we must know how to tolerate the personality of others,
acknowledge the differences of others.
We cannot determine the degree of respect based on high or low position,
large or small power
or a large or small amount of property.
Therefore,
when we interact with others,
our words must definitely show respect for them,
not arbitrarily say words that
hurt their dignity or insult their personality.
Working Manual
Mencius said:
In speech,
we must respect and protect the dignity of others,
and our words must make the other person feel happy when listening.
Only before we speak,
we know how to think a little,
not to hurt the sanctity
as well as protect the dignity of others,
then we can receive their respect.
If we can do this,
when we work,
we will reduce a lot of obstacles for ourselves,
and our relationships with society will also become better.
So, how to avoid saying hurtful words to people around.
Let’s try to consider the following points:
(1) Respect the personality of others
Everyone is equal in personality,
not because of the factors of property
and power that change,
so we must treat them equally.
Each blade of grass is a life,
each person has his or her own dignity,
while communicating,
we must be fair,
upright, and equal.
(2) Respect the advantages,
ignore the shortcomings of others
No one is perfect.
Everyone has their own advantages,
disadvantages and shortcomings.
We must not laugh at others,
look down on the shortcomings of others,
and treat each person fairly.
Lesson 2: Change the impolite catchphrase
One afternoon,
Chi Dung went to a restaurant on the street to eat rice.
On the other side of the table were two women in their thirties,
dressed in fashionable clothes,
listening to the content of the conversation,
they seemed to be employees of some company.
The two girls talked loudly,
seeming to have no taboo at all.
When Chi Dung heard it,
it was very jarring,
suddenly he saw a girl among them flossing and saying a sentence:
“Mother!
Working like this every day is exhausting…”
This made Chi Dung extremely surprised.
It’s scary,
such a beautiful girl speaks so rudely,
leaving the listeners disappointed.
Unexpectedly,
the other girl immediately added:
“Mom, I have to work overtime every day
without any extra money…”
Chi Dung frowned,
this typical catchphrase made him unacceptable.
“Primacy effect” is often very common in life.
Sun Quyen in “Three Kingdoms of Expression”,
after meeting Bang Thong,
saw that he was ugly in appearance,
did not consider anyone,
and refused to meet,
that was due to the “first effect”.
As for US President Lincoln,
because of his prejudice in appearance,
he refused a person who was more intelligent
than someone recommended by his friends,
all due to “first effect”.
Thereby, it can be seen how much people focus on the first impression.
In life, we often hear a few vulgar phrases such as “fuck”,
“his mother”…
These catchphrases not only do not give people courage
as people often think,
but It also makes others feel offensive,
especially when communicating for the first time.
Everyone has their own proverbs according to their habits,
each region also has their own proverbs,
these sayings are like culture infiltrating the bones
and bones of people in the region,
for example the words “Fuck! ”,
“Dumb”,
“Ignorant”…
These bad words make others feel very uncomfortable after hearing them,
which not only reduces the image of the individual
but also brings many obstacles
for the individual communicate yourself.
It is often said that first impressions play a key role,
the “first effect” in psychology has reflected this phenomenon.
When people talk to each other for the first time,
the first impression left is extremely important,
in which the phrase that
people often use in communication will be the most important factor
of the first impression.
In addition to the informal catchphrases,
there are also a few other things to pay attention to.
We all have practical experiences in communication,
some people even just got used to opening their mouths to say bad words,
such as:
Sweet brothers and sisters,
arms and legs,
whole body exudes aura.
In the world of Gypsy,
someone repeats the phrase
“Do you understand what I mean?”
“Is it clear?”
“Basically…”
“Honestly…”
These words sound very cumbersome,
making listeners resentful
… Bad words will inadvertently damage our good image.
In life,
there is no shortage of examples like these:
There is a young staff member who performs very well
in front of everyone.
That day,
he
Just discussed an order,
the other party has promised
to quickly sign the contract.
This employee was very happy to sign such a large order,
so he invited a group of friends to eat and drink.
At ten o’clock in the evening,
he was just getting into bed when the phone rang.
After drinking alcohol,
it was inevitable that he would make a mistake,
opening his mouth and saying:
“Fuck, I don’t let people rest at night, who is it?”
+The other party didn’t say anything and hung up.
A few days later,
the order was still not found,
he contacted and the other party signed a contract
with someone else.
Later, I found out that it was a disaster caused
by a slip of the tongue after getting drunk.
Is this just a disaster caused
by a slip of the tongue after getting drunk?
Not really,
that young man was used to saying this,
even when working in the office,
although he tried to restrain himself,
it was inevitable that he would accidentally say it,
this is for sure will have a lasting effect on his work.
There was also a guy who went to an interview,
just entered the door carelessly tripping over a bucket of water that
the cleaning staff left on the floor.
When he fell,
he said a sentence: “Fuck!”
A manager in the company is especially resentful of such questions,
after asking why he came here,
he immediately kicked him out the door.
And this poor guy just
because of one sentence that he normally said,
when he encountered a sudden incident,
he said it casually,
resulting in the interview that was very hopeful.
In communication,
we can use the “first effect” in psychology to express ourselves.
It can be with a smile full of enthusiasm,
with an open and kind friendliness
to leave a good impression on the other person.
When making friends,
when applying for jobs,
in order to leave a good impression in the hearts of others,
we must definitely change the bad old sayings.
Working Manual
Modifying bad catchphrases is not an overnight thing.
This is a very long process,
not only requires determination and energy,
but also perseverance and persistence,
so we can change those bad sayings
and build a good image own beauty.
Let’s try the changes starting with the following:
(1) You must be aware of the dangers of bad words
and let yourself feel hate
We need to strengthen the motivation to eliminate “language waste”
and overcome this bad habit in thought.
It takes a strong motivation to have a great determination to act,
so the effect will be more obvious.
(2) Must be faithful to the promise to change the bad catchphrase,
not make excuses to give up
If we ignore a bad behavior once,
then we can ignore it a thousand times,
ten thousand times.
Therefore,
before each speaking,
we have to remind ourselves,
change the previously conditioned reflex.
At the same time,
you can record your story,
listen to it often in your free time,
and prevent your bad words.
(3) Let your friends and relatives around you monitor you
Bad catchphrases can be easily corrected with the help
and supervision of others,
and can even prevent recurrences.
When our bad catchphrase has just reached our mouth,
next to someone who promptly reminds and supervises,
we will stop;
Over time,
it will form an unconditional reflex,
when we blurt it out,
we can immediately stop it.
Lesson 3: Limit talking about anyone
“Chau! It’s amazing, do you know?”,
“What, you still don’t know?”…
There are such characters in movies
or in some companies,
listening to other people’s private stories is her hobby,
quick information is her forte.
We often call her “gossip lady”,
a little more gentle we can call her “the radio”
or “the loudspeaker”.
This type of person is most favored by the scriptwriter,
when an incident happens,
while the insider deliberately hides it,
the writer wants to let everyone know the truth
“paper cannot cover fire”,
borrow this person’s hand.
“push water with the stream”.
The example below is a prime example.
Lan Anh and Khanh Van work in the same room.
One day,
on the way to lunch,
Khanh Van said to Lan Anh:
“You know what?
Ha Dung has been laid off.”
“Can you clarify a bit, Ha Dung?”
“Then Ha Dung of the design room!”
Lan Anh immediately remembered that there was a girl like
that in the design room,
and asked:
“Why was she fired?
Did she have a design flaw?”
“You have to ask again,
how can she be a designer.
I heard people say she went to the back door,
relying on her beauty,
in the end it wasn’t…”
Speaking of this,
Khanh Van smiled mysteriously.
Whether it’s at work or in everyday life,
there will often be a character like Khanh Van appearing,
they seem to be crazy about chatting,
no matter what’s going on around them,
it’s them will talk passionately about it.
Why do people like to gossip and gossip,
even tirelessly?
From a psychological perspective,
we can be explained as follows:
(1) Desire for attention
In fact,
the “gossip lady” is always the one
who has their own “predestined” and “market”.
When they have breakfast at the company,
casually releasing information can instantly attract a talkative audience.
In life,
people who like to gossip are often not interested by others,
themselves have a dignity,
aspire to be the focus,
to get everyone’s attention.
Therefore,
they have to rely on getting some information about others that
they hear directly or indirectly to spread,
thereby attracting people’s attention,
then immerse themselves in gratification.
This character is very easy to be taken advantage of,
used as a loudspeaker and a substitute.
Remember how the female protagonists in the film spread information silently?
They purposely took advantage of the presence of these
“long-tongued people” to create some shocking fake scenes,
then happily waited for the person to rush out and shout:
“Ah! guess what I just saw?”
(2) Release the pressure
We often hear that “XX becomes everyone’s laughing stock after leisure time.”
Why choose “free time”?
Because at this time,
in the hearts of people,
there is no malicious discussion about other people’s jokes,
just for entertainment.
Usually, the people
who are entertained the most do not exclude two types of people:
the “best” and the “worst” person.
It is said that the “best” person comes from jealousy,
because other people’s achievements are too good,
causing people around them to feel their self-esteem is hurt,
so they have to find ways to dig up,
those records are a bit worse,
this is really self-deception.
Other people will not pay attention to those tasteless slanders,
but on the contrary,
it will enhance the meanness and pitifulness of this type of person.
And discussing the “inferior” person is to satisfy his dignity,
thinking that he is much better than that person,
in fact, this is also an unhealthy mentality.
From a psychological perspective,
this is a negative person who does not know how to rise,
so it is difficult for people around them to care about them.
The two psychology mentioned above are all variations of low self-esteem,
extremely detrimental to psycho-physiological health,
it is difficult to relieve pressure,
and over time will definitely make themselves “stuck” more.
From a psychological perspective,
people who like to talk to others are people
who either don’t know how to keep secrets in their hearts,
or want to be cared for by others.
Psychology research proves that
if a person has too many secrets in his heart,
he must use a lot of psychological energy to control,
this feeling will make people extremely uncomfortable,
thereby having impulsive thoughts want to say.
(3) Longing for intimate communication
Psychologists believe that,
in everyone’s heart,
there is a feeling of loneliness,
some people feel little,
some people feel a lot.
In life, people who feel a lot of loneliness will crave
to build friendships with others
to alleviate this feeling of loneliness,
in which sharing other people’s information
and secrets is one of the most important things.
The fastest way to build relationships with people around you.
Many psychological studies also prove that the topic that
everyone is interested in is “information related to third parties”,
which is also “other people’s gossip”.
These words are not related to both parties,
are not considered private,
everyone speaks their opinion,
and it is easy to talk.
But communication relationships built on this method
It can only be superficial friendships,
not soulmates.
As the level of friendship increases,
both of you will want to talk about your feelings
and secrets more.
However,
because the other person knows very well the “drawing
from the mouth” from this person,
he will protect his information more closely,
fearing that this person will grasp the weakness,
be transmitted out and consider it “a story” third-party vanity”.
Therefore,
these two people will not confide sincerely
with each other,
over time will leave a false feeling with others,
and it will be difficult to have a true friendship.
Even when you criticize others privately,
others will think:
“Maybe this person will talk bad about me behind someone else’s back,
how can I tell him in secret later?”
Based on the law of psychological inertia,
other people will rely on determinative thinking to doubt your dignity,
even feel discontent on behalf of the person you are slandering,
at that time the person “sticks” damaged burn not” is you.
In the film,
the “gossip lady” is always a bitter and sour character;
In life, people who “gossip” are always those
who like to have fun before other people’s misfortunes.
Someone said:
“When you look at other people in the window,
others also look up at you”,
but with “people who like to chat”,
they can forever only play the role of hiding below.
Others, perhaps unlucky enough to encounter a banana peel on top
of it and throw it down.
Working Manual
Discuss someone else’s back will make others think that
this person has no cultivation and is very boring.
So, how should we avoid leaving such an impression on others,
how not to gossip behind others’ backs?
(1) Be aware that small talk is one-sided
In fact, people who speak behind others’ backs are often one-sided,
if the words can be said in front,
there is nothing to say behind their backs.
Smart people usually respect themselves very much,
will never despise themselves like that.
(2) Before chatting, think about the consequences
Talking behind your back and being discovered
by others won’t have good results.
Either they are despised,
or they are insulted.
Before making small talk of other people,
if we can think of such consequences,
we will be very cautious.
Lesson 4: Don’t talk too much
Remember a story like this:
In the company,
everyone admits that Thanh Huy is a good person,
he is very enthusiastic
when he meets everyone,
often tells his colleagues:
“Don’t be polite,
if you have something,
just tell me. I!”
Near Tet,
the leader asked him to buy a pair
of train tickets for him.
Also because he usually said
“I have acquaintances at the train station”,
so because he was afraid to refuse to lead,
he had to queue to buy tickets on the black market in the middle
of the cold winter night.
The leader saw that he was very capable,
so he asked him to buy five more tickets.
He wanted to muster up the courage to tell the truth,
but his mouth still said:
“No problem,
you can say anything!”
After reading the story,
you might say:
He did it on his own,
that’s right.
And he,
in addition to that suffering,
must also bear the blame of everyone.
His wife scolded:
“You flatter your leader,
please your colleagues like that,
does anyone give you any benefits?”
His friend said,
“There’s no point in trying to do such things.”
People call the kind employees in the office “record papers”.
The feature of the “job records” is that
whoever has a need will surely meet it,
no matter how big or small,
first accept the invitation,
try to do it to increase the need for everyone.
But due to the limited scope of their own abilities,
when the “job records” can’t fulfill their promises,
people will complain:
“Don’t you say there’s no problem?
Knowing that soon,
I didn’t expect anything from you!”
causing the “work notes” to exasperately lament:
“Being a human is difficult,
being a good person is even harder”.
If you were in the same situation,
would you also feel resentful?
In fact, to get to that point is
because you gave others hope and then let them down.
There’s an old saying:
“The more you hope,
the more you’ll be disappointed.”
Disappointment is only
when the initial level of expectations is higher than
the actual results will cause psychological disparity with insiders.
Psychologists did the following experiment,
they listed four different attitudinal responses
to the experimenter below:
1) Accept the promise,
then fulfill the promise.
2) Accept but do not perform.
3) Directly refuse.
4) Subtly refuse but eventually do.
Surprisingly,
with the above four responses,
the experimenters felt most satisfied with the fourth,
not the first;
The most dissatisfied is not the third but the second.
That proves that most people asking for help are angry not
because of the outcome of the incident
but “why did you deceive me”?
For the things that we cannot do,
we must not arbitrarily promise,
avoid leaving the image of “bragging”
and “not keeping promises” to others;
With the things we can do,
we also must not hug people arbitrarily,
accepting immediately will make others give the impression
“this is actually very easy to do”,
the result will create a feeling for ourselves.
“Breaking down a whole mountain for people,
yet people think that they only cut a stick of firewood”,
moreover,
if there is a sudden situation on the way to breaking the mountain,
people will say:
“Even one The sticks can’t be cut,
don’t you want to burn wood for me, right?”
In life, the things that take a lot of work
but don’t get people’s hearts a lot,
is because of the psychological frustration
when they promise but can’t fulfill them.
In psychology,
there is a rule as follows:
If your expectations and reality match,
there will be a great sense of satisfaction;
On the other hand,
if the expectation is higher
but the reality is not met,
the disappointment will be more.
Has everyone had this experience:
If we make promises to others,
then we will exert pressure corresponding to our mentality,
when acting,
there are thoughts like “if you don’t do well,
then do it.
” how”,
“what should we do until then”,
which will directly affect our normal work performance.
And if we really can’t keep our promises,
we will feel extremely bored,
even guilty.
There is a story like this:
The patient’s family took the doctor’s hand,
cried until he was about to faint,
asked the patient if he could recover.
The doctor awkwardly said this disease is serious condition…
The family member calmed down a bit,
asked how much the survival rate.
The doctor adjusted the glasses with his hand
and gave the percentage.
The family couldn’t hold back the pain and fainted.
The doctor promptly took the patient’s hand,
trembled and then said with emotion:
“We will do our best.”
Family members hold the doctor’s hand,
in gratitude:
“Do not be polite,
do your best to treat!”
You see that doctor,
it is a shame that he is a highly intelligent person,
very artistically spoken.
A sentence “we will try our best” both gives the family hope
and shows their responsibility.
Moreover,
the rate related to “successful surgery”,
if it is said that the lower,
the successful surgery,
the greater the family’s sense of psychological satisfaction,
the deeper the level of appreciation for the doctor.
Thereby, we can learn according to the doctor’s words,
not “no problem”
but “I will try my best”.
Thus, when we speak,
we must leave some space,
not say “too much”.
The ancients have a saying
“If you are too full,
you will overflow”,
what overflows is your personal credibility,
the trust of others.
We all like to live in large houses,
sleep in large beds,
all because “have space to work”.
So when speaking,
it is also necessary to apply the same,
don’t overdo it,
give yourself some space so that if something happens,
we can still have a way back.
Working Manual
When we talk,
we need to leave some space for ourselves,
not to exaggerate,
so we can regress naturally.
Here are two related skills:
(1) Don’t say “conflict”
I myself do not say “conflict”.
Of course,
when the other party speaks out,
we must not continue,
push the conflict higher,
but must think of a way to pull the opponent to our side.
Even if we understand the other’s intentions,
we shouldn’t be tense,
otherwise neither of us will have space to retreat.
(2) Pay attention to your own tone
If we are talking about a matter of principle,
we can try to use a mild tone to express our request or desire,
without giving the other party a feeling of intimidation in terms
of tone talking,
both sides will get a sense of security;
If it is a non-principle issue,
the more we have to use the tone of discussion,
negotiation or consultation to make the other person feel our closeness.
Lesson 5: Avoid bragging
All the things that do not need to be taxed and benefited,
people compete to do.
Boasting is also a “no need to pay taxes” thing,
so of course,
in some respects the person who brags will benefit.
If your friend is a talented and handsome young man,
and is added with the label “Viet Kieu”,
then immediately there will be dozens of innocent young girls surrounding you,
asking you if the moon in foreign countries is round;
If you say mayor A is your close friend,
used to fight often,
now drink together,
immediately many people will come to recognize
you as a sweet brother.
When we are young,
each person has a “big” dream,
but unfortunately we have misfortune
and are “buried” by those around us,
then the mentality will definitely not be able to balance.
If there is no balance,
find a way to brag to fill it.
In life, there are too many people that no one knows,
but in order to have a little face
and psychological balance,
I used a bragging way like Dinh Nam in the example below.
Dinh Nam is a salesman of a company,
normal work performance is not appreciated by the director.
The days passed very mysteriously,
his only hobby was drinking and bragging.
He gathered with friends before,
friends asked him how he was doing,
he immediately said that
he was a brother to the director,
in his hand had dozens of important customers,
sometimes he drank a lot
and even said Name two or three people,
say they are my customers,
as close as relatives.
But it is also coincidental,
one day he bragged to a friend
– a real estate agent,
that if he wanted to buy a house at a discount of twenty percent,
he only needed one sentence from him.
Coincidentally,
this friend is also a high school friend of the director
of Dinh Nam company.
During the class meeting,
that friend immediately said to Dinh Nam’s director:
“Do you want to buy a house?
I have a friend who said that
he has an acquaintance in the real estate industry,
maybe twenty percent off.”
This director thought it was true,
happily inquired about the specifics of his “generous magical friend”,
it turned out that the “friend” was his Dinh Nam employee.
The next day,
the director called Dinh Nam to the office
to see if he could ask a “real estate dealer”
for a favorable price.
Dinh Nam felt so mysterious,
had to tell the director the truth,
“I’m bragging”.
The director’s face fell,
later he did not respect Dinh Nam even more,
thinking that he was a hasty person,
moreover,
he was also a liar,
no wonder his work achievements were not outstanding.
Dinh Nam’s mistake lies in the fact that
he thinks the world is too big.
He thinks that his current director
and former classmates
In my opinion,
the two “separate North – South hemispheres” have absolutely nothing
to do with each other.
He thought that bragging was a simple matter,
words were flying,
but he did not know one thing that
“the speaker is unintentional,
and the listener is sentient”.
Do you blame others for taking such a thing as real?
Then, later on,
others will consider you a shepherd boy,
no matter what you say,
no one will believe you,
you will gradually feel the feeling of being looked down upon.
In psychology,
bragging is about expressing yourself,
thereby gaining more attention.
That way,
you can make up for the shortfall
and achieve the “ideal” feeling you want.
A survey report in the UK showed
that 80% of respondents admitted that
they had to “lie” at least once a day.
The psychological motivation that
It makes Dinh Nam “brag” is to make up for his needs.
In psychology,
bragging has another purpose:
to reduce anxiety and overcome fear.
Once upon a time,
there was a funny story that said:
An ant offended an elephant,
and the elephant told him to destroy it.
Ants hide at the entrance of the cave,
sticking one leg out of the cave.
Outsiders saw it and asked,
“What are you doing?”
The ant arrogantly raised its head and said:
“Huh, it’s okay,
when the elephant comes,
I’ll trip it up and kill it!”
The parable above wants to say that
when people meet a much stronger opponent,
they will feel fear and lose faith in combat,
so they have to take advantage of spiritual “therapy”
despise the opponent” to increase his strength.
In life, there are some people
who really like to take advantage of attacking opponents
to improve themselves,
or through exaggeration to encourage themselves.
“You want to challenge me just for that trivial matter?
Go back to cultivating for another hundred years”,
“I can handle such a small matter easily,
you don’t have to worry.”
For example,
a leader gives you a task.
The difficulty of the task is for college students,
and your ability is only at the level of elementary school students.
Leader asked:
“No problem?”
You pat your chest hard,
and happily answer:
“No problem,
don’t tell this elementary school student’s problem,
even if it’s a college student’s problem,
I can easily finish it.”
The leader was very happy,
he thought that it would be very beneficial to spend wages
to hire elementary school students
to complete the work of university students,
so he patted his friend on the shoulder and laughed:
“In the future,
the company only needs people like you.
You are enough.”
You promised to complete the task,
but when you start to work,
you find yourself unable to solve the problem,
causing the leader to lose faith in you,
not even sympathize with all qualified people like you.
No matter what the reason,
it is not a good habit to speak loudly or boast.
Firstly, it affects your mental health.
In the face of difficulties,
one can only use exaggeration to minimize difficulties,
in fact, to avoid reality.
When reality comes to reality,
we will not know how to respond,
after encountering obstacles,
it will be difficult to regain our spirits.
Second, affect communication relationships.
Because we want to maintain a temporary vanity
and certain benefits,
we arbitrarily promise others unrealistic promises.
Waiting until we can’t fulfill our promise,
others will blame us,
and at the same time assign the crime of “fraud”.
Working Manual
Exaggerated speech,
like to boast are all manifestations of unrealistic.
Others will think that this person is not practical,
the impression left will also be very bad.
So, how should we avoid this situation?
(1) Say you can do it
The old saying goes:
Talking goes hand in hand.
We talk a lot but don’t do it,
others will think that we are bragging,
have no real bravery,
and think we are not honest.
(2) Before you speak,
think about the consequences of telling a lie
When speaking using untruthful words,
dealing with such people is both a waste of time and effort,
and makes others hate and despise them.