How To Say Welcome, How To Be Appreciated
Chapter 3: Be smart to get the world
Lesson 1: Use body language to shorten the distance between the two sides
The time women get close to each other is so fast
that men are surprised.
we just met for the first time in the morning,
but by evening we talked as close as sisters,
the next day we went shopping together arm in arm.
Looking at women smiling
men can’t help but speculate:
“In the end,
how many things do these two have to say?”
With the natural intimacy of women,
psychologists did an interesting experiment.
They let men and women take turns entering the same room
and locking the door.
After three hours,
the women’s room resounded with incessant laughter,
when opening the door,
almost all the women put their arms around the person sitting next to them,
the atmosphere in the room was very harmonious.
in the other room,
the atmosphere was very tense,
the men began to feel uneasy,
even pointing their fists at each other.
Psychologists draw conclusions based on the experimental process
that women are better at using body language to express their feelings,
thereby effectively shortening the psychological distance between the two sides.
between people is called the communication distance.
It refers to the spatial distance
between people when interacting with others.
Hall – an American scholar based on his research gave the following communication distances:
The social distance is 1.22 ~ 3.66m;
The distance between friends is 0~0.3m.
Analysis through the above experiment,
it can be seen that women have more delicate feelings than men,
they lack a sense of security,
so they need more through physical contact
to shorten the “distance” of the two sides.
Use that to increase the sense of security in your heart.
In life, people often because of the difference
between the emotional distance of the two sides,
unconsciously adjust the spatial distance.
Emotional intimacy can shorten spatial distances;
spatial proximity can promote emotional intimacy between two people.
Smart salespeople understand this principle best.
We can recall going into a store to buy clothes.
If the salesperson of a certain store coldly says,
“If you like it, you can try it.”
The salesman of another store enthusiastically greets you
and helps you try on clothes.
So, with the same clothes,
which store would you rather choose?
Because in the process of helping your partner adjust your collar
and pull your sleeves,
her intimate body language shortens the emotional distance
between the two of you.
As for the psychology of buyers,
they often want to buy things from people they are close to and love.
there are many people whose appearance is very difficult to approach,
when not knowing the other person’s personality,
language exchange is often ineffective.
At that time,
we can use body language to shorten the relationship between the two parties.
A scenario can be seen below:
In the editorial office,
Khanh Linh is a lively and cheerful person.
Once, she was assigned to interview a famous writer.
Her colleagues are worried for her
because she is a famous difficult writer who has always refused
to be interviewed by any newspaper.
Several times before,
Khanh Linh’s colleagues failed,
because no matter how much the writer insisted,
the writer would definitely refuse to be interviewed.
The editor-in-chief also told Khanh Linh in advance,
he said that as long as she tried her best,
she did not expect good results at all.
But unexpectedly Khanh Linh talked with that writer all afternoon
and got a very successful interview.
Colleagues were all surprised and said:
“You are really quick to talk and convince that fastidious person!
Aren’t you crying and begging for people?”
Khanh Linh laughed and said:
“Actually, this writer is not very difficult.
When I went to an interview,
as soon as I saw him coming home from the market,
I was afraid he wouldn’t let me in,
so I rushed up and called out “Uncle”,
then held his hand and said,
“I really like your book”.
She deftly refused to be interviewed,
I immediately held her hand
and refused to let go,
with no other choice,
she immediately let me in.
I put a chair next to him,
and he told me a lot of stories from before.”
In the above example,
Khanh Linh is the person
who successfully used the use of body language.
holding hands” movement at the first meeting shortened the distance with the writer,
maybe at first the writer felt abrupt,
but because the opponent approached without malice,
this writer had emotional closeness
with the strange girl in a passive situation.
In addition to Khanh Linh’s act of “not letting go”,
proving that she is lovely and straightforward,
“putting a chair next to me” makes it easier for the elderly to feel close,
so the writer has removed the defensive mentality no good time.
thanks to body language,
many people become intimate and close to each other
Young men and women often have feelings of love
and affection because of a “holding hands” accidentally;
two close friends of the cold war for a long time,
because once they hugged each other when they met,
they erased their previous suspicions;
The pat on the shoulder of the leader makes employees feel cared for…
There are data that show that a person wants to convey his
or her complete information,
simple language accounts for only 7%,
tone accounts for 38%,
and body language expression accounts for 55%.
Moreover, these body languages are all instinctive behaviors of a person,
so deception accounts for a very small percentage.
Timely and timely body language can help balance the emotions of the other person,
increase the affection between the two of us,
which can also make us more friends.
One person’s body language has a very strong impact on the emotions of others.
If the movements of two people have the same points,
it will quickly shorten the psychological distance
between the two sides.
In everyday life,
we can use relevant body language to express our feelings.
There is a saying:
“No one hits a smiling person”.
Smiling is an expression of your closeness to others.
We want to leave an enthusiastic
and friendly impression on others,
so we should smile a lot.
This is also the most direct,
simplest way for us to receive their welcome.
(2) Spread your arms wide
When you open your arms to receive the other person,
the other person will feel himself welcome,
thereby feeling close to you.
On the contrary,
if when the other party comes,
you stand with your arms crossed or sit still,
the other person will feel estranged,
will be very unhappy.
Lesson 2: Say the first sentence well
In daily life,
the most effective
and direct way to make friends is chat,
in which the first sentence is the most important.
Because the first sentence is good
or not can reflect a person’s cultivation.
This is the “first effect” in psychology.
The “first effect” means that
people will deeply remember the first impression of things
they come into contact with,
this impression will affect people’s subjective judgments about things for a long time
and will be difficult to change.
Thus, it can be understood that
the first sentence in a conversation can give people hope,
can make people excited,
can make people disappointed,
and can make people lose the opportunity to communicate,
one more time…
Sometimes, the delightful opening of a novel makes one think that
this is a remarkable book;
while a boring opening will make people think
it is a sign of a boring lecture.
When meeting other people,
a rude greeting will make people feel that you are a rude person.
Chu Man is a professional director of a company,
once she went to work in the mountains to discuss business
with the company’s cooperation customers.
Because she is not used to the cold weather in the mountains,
as soon as she got off the car,
she complained to the customer who came to pick her up:
“Oh my god, this damn weather,
I don’t know how the people here survive!”
The partner who lives in this place,
hearing that sentence,
the originally happy mood immediately halved,
but it was not convenient to refute,
so he just politely added the weather situation.
Chu Man then showed her professional expertise excellently,
she described the company’s advantages
and categories very thoroughly.
But the partner did not show enthusiasm,
and finally decided not to cooperate with Chu Man’s company.
Zhou Min’s mistake was that
he didn’t know how to say it or the first sentence.
She underestimated the effect of the first sentence on the psychology of the opponent.
When she said that “the weather was evil”,
she was damaging the feelings of another’s homeland.
Although the cooperation between the two companies
and this is two different things,
but the first impression that Chu Man left was rude,
The other party may have doubts:
If a company sends an unqualified employee to negotiate,
can this company be trusted?
As one scholar has said,
“The heart of the conversation lies in the first five minutes of their contact.”
A good movie requires that right from the first scene,
it must capture the hearts of viewers.
A perfect character is required from the first sentence
to show personality characteristics.
Vuong Hy Phuong – a beautiful woman,
but extremely sour and bitter in Hong Lau Mong,
is a master in psychology.
She knew the importance of first impressions,
so the first day she entered the residence,
she used a burst of laughter and flattery,
“What a standard person,
I met you today”
Lam Mistress blushed but also felt happy.
“Primacy effect” refers to the fact that
when people first contact,
the first impression with the opponent will affect the evaluation
and perception of the opponent later.
the first impression with the opponent in the first meeting,
in terms of appearance,
Saying the first sentence well,
can make other people develop interest
and sympathy for you.
To do this,
you should simply compliment the other person a little,
be a little mysterious
and have a little more humor;
Of these methods,
praise is the most effective.
Psychology master Dale Carnegie said:
“In the heart of each person,
he thinks that he has a certain trait that is better than others.
As a person,
everyone has a desire to be praised and respected.”
He told a story that happened to himself.
He tried conversing with strangers beside him.
He chose a newspaper reporter
who delivered the newspaper every day.
This person normally doesn’t say much,
at most greets guests and then leaves.
when he came to deliver the newspaper,
I found your hair very beautiful!”
At first he froze,
then beamed with joy and said,
As he left, he turned back to Carnegie and said,
“Actually, a lot of people say my hair is beautiful!”
The second is the mystery.
This tactic is most often used in detective novels,
where the introduction can be seen like this:
“This is the most mysterious secret room murder case in history”,
“It is mysterious when the window is open,
and the doors are closed,
could this be a demonic case?”
This way of saying arouses the curiosity of the readers,
making them want to read to the last page.
If you are busy at work,
do not want to be disturbed by others,
but someone says to you:
“Can we go out in the afternoon?
I want to talk to you for a bit..”
You may politely decline:
But if he replaces it with a different expression:
“There is one thing,
I thought for a long time and didn’t know
if I should tell you.
Well, it’s better if you don’t tell me, don’t ask!”
Surely you will be curious,
turn to ask that person to tell you,
even if that person has a resolute attitude not to say,
you will still force him to say it.
this is a psychological trick,
because his desire is for you to hear him talk.
Finally, it’s funny.
“Having a sense of humor and dealing
with being ridiculed intelligently is the highest wisdom.”
when a famous scholar came to the university
to give a lecture,
his first words were:
“Are there any of you who are older than me who haven’t graduated yet?”
This statement made everyone laugh,
then the lecture took place in a very happy atmosphere.
people not only pay attention to the first impression of appearance
but also pay attention to how the first sentence should be said.
Saying the first sentence well,
your good impression will stay in the other person’s heart.
(1) Actively inquired
When you just get acquainted with others,
use a respectful tone to actively ask the other person.
Thus, the other party will feel that you are very sincere,
will quickly dispel the defensive mentality,
making the two sides want to get closer.
(2) The first sentence must evoke the opponent’s resonance
When saying the first sentence,
it is best to be able to evoke the resonance of the other person,
make it easy for the other person to approach you emotionally,
your words must make the other person hear and understand,
otherwise “one glass wrong will go a mile”.
Lesson 3: Those who know how to find things to talk about are brave people
Between acquaintances and friends,
you can talk about one thing after another,
from a newly adopted puppy to a new hairstyle,
and countless things that happen in everyday life…
So what about strangers ?
when waiting for the bus,
many people read the newspaper alone,
completely without talking to the person next to them.
Maybe people think it’s unnecessary,
maybe there’s nothing to talk about.
For the person sitting next to you on the bus or the passerby,
people can choose to be silent and pass by.
But when there is a necessary job
or in a social case,
forcing a connection with a stranger in front of you,
how do you start a conversation with the other person,
so that there is something between the two of you?
For example, introducing products to customers,
going to other provinces to discuss investment with the director,
inviting a cold beautiful girl next to him to dance…
We should know one thing:
It is good to have a common topic to talk about,
but if there is no common topic then we need to create a topic.
in the movie,
there is a classic dialogue:
“Ma’am, why do I think you are so familiar?”
This is the typical “no matter what to find out” way.
Usually, when meeting this way of starting a conversation,
as long as you are not a person who seems to be a delinquent,
a born thug,
with an honest tone,
others will politely respond with a “Really?”
You could take that opportunity to say,
“Yes, you are a lot like a classmate of mine.
She majored in tourism,
to the General Department of Tourism.”
Maybe the other party will continue to ask how old your classmates are,
what school they went to before…
Have you found a common ground?
“If there’s nothing,
you can find it”.
See if you can grasp the following attack strategies:
1) Pose a situation,
prompting the other party to respond defensively,
even if very briefly.
2) Definitely praise,
no one refuses praise.
3) Create some completely unrelated information to the opponent,
making the opponent not understand
and do not know how to refute.
Thus, the initiative will be in your hands,
as long as your attitude is serious,
then surely you will believe whatever you say.
Let’s see how to do it in the example below,
this method can be suitable for all ages,
can be applied to a person but also to a group.
Salesman Thanh Giang and his colleague Minh Anh first came
to the street to sell soft drinks.
Minh Anh has an introverted personality,
standing next to him,
just standing in one place selling drinks
or reading newspapers.
Thanh Giang wants to talk to Minh Anh,
but because the two don’t know each other,
they don’t know where to start.
Thanh Giang thought for a moment and then said to Minh Anh:
“Have you seen the people coming from the other side?
Guess what, when I use the loudspeaker,
which one of them will turn to look.”
Minh Anh laughed and said:
“I don’t know,
who knows about this.”
Thanh Giang pushed Minh Anh and said:
“I guess it’s the girl in the red shirt.
Girls are usually very curious.”
Minh Anh said:
“And I guess it’s the guy in the blue shirt.”
Thanh Giang started talking on the loudspeaker,
and of course the girl in red turned her head.
Thanh Giang smiled
and patted Minh Anh’s shoulder:
“See, I said too well.
Maybe we’ll have to go buy the lottery later!”
Minh Anh said:
“Have you ever bought it?
I also bought it before but never won.”
Then the two started talking about the lottery,
gradually the topic of conversation was expanded.
there are many ways to help you find something
to talk about when it’s not,
like pretending to be mysterious.
Research in psychology proves that
one person’s interesting interests can often arouse the attention
and sympathy of others.
people like to hang out with “interesting” people,
which will make their lives full of excitement.
we take advantage of divination,
things that sound unreliable
but interesting to open the topic,
which can also be considered a smart choice.
People are talking,
if a person suddenly says he can see his hands,
then everyone will be curious and crowd to ask to see.
Believe it, don’t believe it,
but human curiosity can’t be suppressed.
A person who always knows how to create an atmosphere of mystery
It will attract the curiosity of those around him.
Psychology has discovered that,
we must know how to “hit” deep in the human soul,
forming our own art of “fairness” in the process of communication
and understanding is a way to hit the human psyche),
so that effective communication can be achieved.
we also have to specifically analyze the psychological state
and weaknesses of the other person,
thereby deciding what to say,
what not to say,
to what extent to say it,
and when to say it.
Another method in psychology is to appear weak.
Research psychology has proven that
people like to help those who are weaker than themselves,
thereby achieving a sense of satisfaction
when expressing their own worth.
It can be seen that this happens most often in idol movies,
the heroine will wear a pair of high heels,
followed by the male character appearing and
helping the girl up;
That’s called asking for help and being pitiful.
showing weakness in front of strangers is also one of the methods of
“nothing to talk about”.
“Can you see this map for me?
I can’t distinguish the direction.”
“Look at this place,
it’s a subway station,
on the east side.”
“Your house is also nearby?
You seem to be very fluent.”
“Yes, your house is right before that.
By the way, let me lead you.”
“Yes, I thank you.
The fish you bought looks so fresh,
you must be a good cook, right?
And I’m bad at cooking…”
“Cooking fish is very simple,
do you want to learn?”
At that time, you agree to say a “yes” is okay.
You try a little harder,
maybe people keep eating fish yet.
In short, finding something to talk about is a very good method,
it can help you communicate successfully,
even if you know how to use it skillfully,
you can get whatever you want.
If we want to live comfortably with others,
we need to know how to find things to talk about.
But the topic of the search must be interesting, natural,
and in accord with one’s own temperament,
and must also think about the emotional factors of the other party.
(1) Getting Started
from things that are familiar to the other party
If we want to find something to talk about,
we must first understand the other person’s interests
so that we can easily start a conversation.
(2) Disclose one’s interests
and hobbies appropriately
We say what we like appropriately,
the other person will understand
and talk about the topic we like.
everyone will talk more happily.
Lesson 4: Arousing the other person’s desire to talk
do we often complain to someone who is taciturn:
“I looked for him to talk,
but he didn’t care,
just laughed or said a few sentences to deal with.
How could this be,
I felt my self-esteem was damaged.
Why does he consider me worthless?”
While you are talking endlessly,
you can even say “integrity words”,
why does the other party answer so simply?
Even ended up using an excuse to leave.
because you haven’t aroused the other person’s desire to talk.
You put the focus of the conversation on your side,
and the other person has no interest in those things.
In the information that you give,
the other party does not find the content that he is interested in,
even if he is a polite person,
he does not find the point of interest to express his views,
naturally will feel find the content of your talk bland,
does not arouse the desire to talk to him.
if you want to arouse the other person’s desire to talk,
you must be enthusiastic about the other person,
starting from the other person’s interest,
leading the other person to talk.
Duc Hieu was eating at a KFC restaurant
when he saw a middle-aged woman sitting next to him thinking alone.
That aroused his curiosity,
he immediately started a conversation with the woman:
“Sister, how are you?
You don’t seem to be feeling well,
please drink a glass of water!”
“Thanks, I have it!”
The middle-aged woman smiled and said,
“Do you think I’m sad?
Sometimes I really want to start over with my life,
so I’m sure I’ll live it differently.”
Duc Hieu was surprised and said:
“What do you mean?
Can you talk to me?”
The middle-aged woman replied slowly:
“Before, I didn’t want to trust anyone,
including my husband,
and as a result now,
I only have one me.
I haven’t seen any relatives in over twenty years…”
The woman began to consider Duc Hieu as someone
she could confide in,
revealing all her past.
Duc Hieu, on the other hand,
considers a woman’s past as an educational lesson and listens patiently.
It wasn’t long before the two became close friends.
Dale Carnegie said:
“Every person’s heart desires to be cared for and respected,
while in conversation,
they all tend to talk about their own affairs,
that is the weakness.”
When we talk to strangers,
the first thing to do is to shift the focus of the conversation towards,
from “self” to “other”,
to “me” to “you”.
Hai Anh discovered that female colleague Thanh Huong,
who had just come to work at the company,
was quite quiet.
He wanted to quickly get close to her,
so he volunteered to take her on a tour of the company.
Along the way,
Hai Anh constantly introduced:
“Look, this is the planning room,
this is the sales room,
this is the staff cafeteria…”
Thanh Huong just nodded and smiled.
Hai Anh again told her about the funny stories
of her colleagues in the office,
Thanh Huong was always smiling but still quiet,
saying only a few simple sentences:
“Really, really interesting!”
Suddenly, Hai Anh saw the delicate bracelet in Thanh Huong’s hand,
“Your bracelet is really beautiful,
is it pure gold?”
Thanh Huong laughed and said:
“No, it’s cheap!” Hai Anh teased her:
“Cheap but cherished like that,
it must be a gift from your boyfriend, right?”
Thanh Huong blushed and said:
“No, I bought it,
I like to go to small stores to collect these things!”
Hai Anh continued:
“Finally, I have met someone with an aesthetic eye.
Are you studying art?
That’s for sure,
what do you normally like to do?”
So Thanh Huong told Hai Anh very naturally what school she went to,
what her daily hobbies and interests were…
After a pleasant afternoon,
the two quickly became close friends.
A year later,
the relationship between the two developed into love.
So, let’s try to analyze it a bit,
see how the first time we met,
Hai Anh cleverly aroused the desire to talk of the “gentle and quiet” girl?
He considers the “beautiful bracelet”
as the entry point to arouse Thanh Huong’s interest in talking.
Then focus on talking from “the company and colleagues”
to “Thanh Huong”,
satisfying her mentality of “everyone wants to be cared for”.
Hai Anh shifts the focus of the conversation to the other party,
so he can better understand the other’s information,
such as Thanh Huong’s school,
interests and hobbies,
so the talk was fun
Did you realize that,
before making Thanh Huong talk,
Hai Anh used a series of questions.
Among the sentence types:
interrogative is the most interactive sentence type,
even the question mark has a curved shape like inviting others,
so Question also means invitation to talk.
I asked and you didn’t answer,
so it turns out you are impolite?
questions are divided into closed questions
and open questions.
A closed-ended question is a question
that can use judgmental words such as “Yes, no,
right, wrong” to directly answer,
for example “Do you work here?”,
“You do it wrong?” yes, right?”;
and open-ended questions are questions
that cannot be answered simply by using judgmental words,
“Tell me what you think?”,
“Why is that?”
based on the analysis of experiments,
pointed out some basic human needs when talking:
The need for social conformity,
this is the human need to want to share the same inspiration
with interests and attitudes toward others;
the need for assurance of value,
this is the need that people hope to have the support of others,
thereby feeling themselves valued;
the need for a reliable ally,
this is the need that people hope to find help from others,
expect others to share in these difficulties;
the need to seek guidance,
this is the human need to hope to receive the guidance of others,
so that they can constantly learn and progress.
in order to lead the other party to talk more,
it is best to use questions,
especially open-ended questions,
so that others have something to say.
Do you want to arouse your partner’s desire to talk?
Do you want the other person to talk happily and comfortably?
Want to get more information about your opponent?
Here are a few ways to help you succeed:
1) Praise appropriately.
Praise is a sweet weapon that anyone can’t refuse.
2) Put the focus of the conversation on the other person,
because everyone wants to be cared for and respected.
3) Talk about topics that the other party is interested in,
what he likes to hear,
you say it.
4) Cleverly ask questions so that the other person is forced to answer,
such as “Why is that?”
When meeting for the first time,
many people think that they do not understand the other person,
so they are afraid that
they will not find the appropriate topic.
But good communicators will not think like that,
they always think of ways to communicate with the other party,
open the “talk valve” of the other party,
thereby increasing the affection for both parties.
(1) Actively care about others, know how to listen
We should carefully observe the other party,
care for the opponent,
learn the difficulties of the opponent,
so that the opponent will easily open his heart
and say the secret things.
(2) Pay attention to what’s happening around
The more we care about what’s going on around us,
the more topics we have in common with each other,
the easier it will be for both parties to talk.
Lesson 5: Be a Loyal Listener
Have you ever been in a situation like this:
Friends who have a heartbreak find you
while crying and confide,
in addition to pulling a paper to wipe your tears,
you have no time to interject.
At the end of the talk,
the friend who was crying like rain sat across from you while walking,
hugging you tightly and thanking you:
“Thank you for listening to me so much,
I’m much better now.”
The male protagonist in a movie feels pressured and miserable,
doesn’t know where to vent,
has to find a hole in a tree to confide:
“Tree, listen to me,
I don’t want to be like this either,
I didn’t do it on purpose,
but if I don’t I’ll go crazy.”
Temporarily do not discuss whether the tree understands anything,
but through the two situations above,
it can be seen that “a loyal listener” is extremely important to us.
Psychology research proves:
Like others to listen to you is a basic human need.
When this need is satisfied,
people develop feelings of love,
trust, and dependence on the person
who has satisfied their need.
It also means that people will like people who listen to them.
The famous psychologist Thomas Gordon,
through a number of psychological experiments has discovered,
people cannot become good listeners mainly for the following reasons:
Not learning how to be a listener;
from a young age only learn communication skills such as writing,
reading and talking;
The education received is only about strengthening these communication skills,
not about listening.
A famous writer is invited to the party,
the owner is a botanist.
During the party,
the owner was very excited about traveling in recent months
to collect plant specimens.
The writer did not study botany,
understood very little about plants,
but was captivated by the owner’s enthusiasm
and his humorous description,
during the whole party he listened in silence,
no join the discussion,
because he thought that he was a “pagan”,
participating would expose his shortcomings.
When the party ended,
the owner showed great affection for the writer,
in front of everyone praised him,
saying that he was a “very politely spoken person”.
The writer felt extremely surprised,
because according to everyone’s memory,
during the party,
this writer did not say more than three sentences,
almost not enough to call “speech”.
Psychologist Dale Carnegie said:
“Being a listener is more important than being a speaker.
Listening attentively to others is the greatest respect,
protection, and compliment we can give others.”
In life, each person has a mentality of “desire to express themselves”,
“I am an important person,
I hope to be respected and understood.”
If we observe, we will see,
when talking to other people,
people like to use the word “I”
as the opening sentence,
for example “Today I saw…”,
“I am…” do not want…”
But once this desire for self-expression is ignored,
even forcedly interrupted,
i.e. one’s speech is disturbed
or opposed by the other party,
people will often develop a negative impression that
is not acceptable. respect.
due to problems in communication,
it can lead to fierce disputes,
in fact there are not many serious conflicts,
just because the “listening” stage appears “mistakes” never mind.
“The pickiest person,
the harshest critic,
the most difficult person will often soften before a patient,
Thus, this listener must have a calmer attitude than he,
he must listen quietly
when the provocateur is like a poisonous snake with its mouth wide open.”
Such a great “listener” will surely have a lot of friends in life,
good fortune comes in a row,
the saying “You just say it calmly,
I’m listening!” will be able to dispel conflicts
and sorrows in life, neutralize all animosities,
and also open up success in your life.
Mr. Lam bought a shirt in the department store,
but what made him angry was that the black shirt was faded,
and moreover stained his coat.
He went to the department store,
found the clerk who served him at the time,
and talked about the problem of fading shirts.
Mr. Lam spoke very softly,
but when he spoke half of it,
the staff interrupted him:
“Sir, we have sold a few pieces of this shirt,
you are the first to ask for a return.”
“What, don’t you believe me?
Look at this shirt…”
Another employee walked over and said,
“Sir, normally black shirts will fade.
quality and price are directly proportional,
which we cannot guarantee.”
Mr. Lam was really angry,
threw his shirt on the counter,
“Do you think the shirt I bought is not expensive?
Clothes quality can not be guaranteed,
the seller it do?
I want to meet your director!
Where’s your director?”
The director heard the shouting
and immediately ran over.
Just five minutes later,
Mr. Lam took his old shirt
and left the department store satisfied.
How did the director make an “excited,
impatient” customer out of his anger in such a short time?
In fact, the director did not explain a single sentence,
he just quietly listened to the customer finished talking about the matter,
Finally, Mr. Lam asked:
“That’s the case, director,
how do you see it being resolved?”
The director sincerely said:
“I am very sorry for today’s incident.
Can you see this,
this shirt is probably only temporarily fading.
Bring it home and wear it for a week
and see if there’s any problem.
If you are still not satisfied,
please return it for an exchange.
Our company is determined not to sell poor quality products to customers.”
Mr. Lam quickly accepted this suggestion,
and at the same time awkwardly said:
“Director, I am actually a reasonable person,
but because the two employees earlier made me extremely angry,
they did not listen to me at all. ”
What is a person most interested in?
Of course it is related to his personal interests,
for example his life, his loved ones,
his joy and suffering.
You should remember when talking to you,
his business and his needs are far more important than yours.
We want to gain the love and trust of others,
the first thing is to “listen”,
“I am very interested in your life,
you are very important to me.”
To avoid sitting with the same person all afternoon,
the result is the same person standing up
and pinching your ear and saying,
“Did you hear me after all?”
Let’s try a few techniques below:
(1) When listening, must promptly respond to information
We must have a corresponding expression on our faces,
or use appropriate words such as “ah”,
“is that so”,
“then what”, “isn’t it”…
Promptly respond to information of others shows that
we are listening very attentively.
(2) Do not interrupt the opponent
Remember not to express your judgmental opinions
when people are talking,
we have to listen to the whole thing
and then conclude,
which proves “I completely understand and respect you”.