10 Laws of Life
Rule 8: Continuously Increase Confidence
Many people have started their careers
with a lot of dreams and bravery,
but as soon as they reach success,
they seek comfort and easy for themselves rather than preparing
to take the next step.
This attitude purposefully lulled them to sleep;
Gradually, they lose the confidence that once made them successful.
Feelings of comfort and excessive enjoyment of results are unwanted
“by-products” of goal pursuit,
and if they are allowed to become primary goals,
they will quickly hinder one’s growth in life.
See enjoyment of leisure
as a temporary step toward setting bigger goals.
Constantly striving for higher goals
and achievements is what you need to build for your life.
Every development requires us to overcome limits
that we have reached before.
With this ability,
confidence will help us take on new challenges,
help us overcome fear, stay active,
constantly explore a brighter future.
The importance of rest
To nurture self-confidence,
we must periodically take a break.
These are periods of real,
much-needed rest where we reward ourselves
for our accomplishments
and renew ourselves to take on the next challenge.
This is an important preparation for approaching a new task.
We need to take the time to say to ourselves,
“I’ve proven I can do it.
Now what else can’t I accomplish”?
Continuous growth requires a balance
between reaching beyond emotional state
we are in with taking reasonable breaks
between the stages of development.
This is very necessary,
so that confidence has a fundamental recovery gap.
It is quite similar to strength training.
If we keep overtraining without rest,
the result is that we are exhausted,
injured or have bad falling points
when participating in big games.
However, if we allow ourselves to rest for too long,
we will weaken ourselves,
and even lose the progress we have made before.
It’s important to give yourself enough relaxation time to recover,
and be careful not to get caught in the comfort trap,
where it can become an increasing drag.
Transform fear into action
The biggest challenge we face
when we leave our comfort zone is to always feel fear:
fear of failure,
fear that someone will discover
we are not as good as they think we are,
fear of losing something important,
afraid people won’t understand what you’re doing.
The list of fears just keeps getting longer and longer.
In this situation,
only confidence is able to transform them
into purposeful thoughts and actions.
We can see that even successful people in society have experienced fear,
but in the end,
they do not let themselves be hindered
by those invisible fears.
They overcome those feelings
and so they succeed.
To some extent,
fear is meant as a challenge big enough,
justifiable enough for us to accept and overcome.
Escape the trap of comfort
How do you know if you are falling into the comfort trap?
Usually, if you’re honest with your feelings,
you’ll feel the moment you’re down,
finding it difficult to start doing something completely new.
Life begins to create doubts for you:
Is it really so easy and boring
or so difficult that it exhausts me?
The challenge is gradually losing its meaning
and the excitement in us therefore also decreases.
such emotions are so easily swayed and persuaded
that we accept them as the limits
of the destination we have reached.
We agree to enjoy ourselves
because we think that,
if we have to change,
we will face a series of foreseeable
or hidden difficulties
All sorts of excuses and excuses are distracting us
from looking for a moment’s well-being.
When this happens
it means that we have decided
to sell our dreams in exchange
for the brevity of joy in our comfort.
There is only one way to get out of the comfort trap
and away from what is lulling
you to sleep is to take on new challenges,
big or small,
to build your confidence.
Occasionally, it requires a major life crisis to gain momentum.
But often it just takes someone,
who can see your potential,
to help you realize what you’re missing,
enough to get you back on track
so you can move on to the next step.
Lisa Pijuan-Nomura is a dancer,
and at the same time,
the manager of an intellectual program.
With this management job,
she is financially secure,
and it also facilitates her to fulfill her dream
of writing children’s books.
This job is stable enough that she can motivate herself that
it’s not bad and is respected by everyone.
Then one day,
very suddenly and unexpectedly,
Lisa received an e-mail from Karen – her dance teacher.
“What are you doing with your dancing talent”?
“Ah, um… you know,
I don’t have the good looks to be a professional dancer,
I don’t dare think that people can watch me dance…”.
Teacher Karen replied:
“Dance is not so much about appearance,
it’s about spirit.
You have a very beautiful soul,
and one day everyone in Toronto
and even the world will see it.”
Words of encouragement began to affect Lisa’s thoughts.
The excuses began to waver.
Before and now,
her dream of becoming a professional dancer was always burning in her,
and if she wanted to make her dream come true,
she had to step out and act.
In the end,
Lisa made a decision for her life:
she quit her job as a manager
and devoted herself to dancing.
At first there were also difficulties,
when the fear of failure was still present,
but then luck smiled on her.
When she didn’t know what to do next,
she received a phone call from a film production company in Ireland.
They are looking for dancers for a movie that is about to start filming.
They wanted to invite her to Ireland for two months to film.
From then on,
opportunities did not stop coming to her,
contracts kept coming.
Not stopping there,
Lisa started working on organizing music and dance programs.
Quickly, she became one of the leading managers in the field of performance
Striving – the cradle of development
It seems like Lisa is very lucky,
but the truth is that she won’t get any good
if she keeps accepting her fears.
It was a valuable lesson for all of us.
If you take on a new challenge
and don’t reach your goals,
you can still grow by transforming experience
you’ve learned into the next challenge.
People who let confidence overcome fear make fewer mistakes
and regrets than those who don’t confront temporary difficulties.
but don’t let your confidence get buried in calm feelings.
This is a positioning that will never let you down.
Start with goals
If you find yourself trapped in the trap of disengagement,
maybe it’s an opportunity for you to set new goals,
no matter how big or small.
Big goals can spark your inspiration,
but you need to break them down into smaller steps
that are easier to manage and capture.
This move helps you see where you started
and what steps you’ve taken.
Small goals are useful
because they are easy to achieve,
and at the same time,
give us a quick boost to regain our confidence.
But you need to make sure you’re either constantly setting new goals
or linking them into something bigger.
And here’s the secret:
What matters most is not whether or not you achieve your goal,
but whether or not it makes you work.
Because, effort is always the way to growth and development.
Often the most valuable results are actually the unexpected product
of the pursuit of the goal.
Rest when needed
Sometimes, people lose their confidence in the midst
of a challenging plan,
project, or sequence of events,
simply because they are overwhelmed or exhausted.
Take a break to regenerate energy and focus.
You’ll be able to get more done in less time
when breaks are alternated.
Set aside some space for yourself to cut ties with your stressors,
and do something that brings you peace.