Chapter 5: The most important choice in life is choosing an attitude
“The greatest human discovery is that we can change our lives
just by changing our attitudes.” – William James
How we become depends on our own thoughts
My life was turned upside down
when I was thirty-two years old,
when my marriage fell apart.
While I was still carrying that pain,
I was told that one man could not take care of three children
and so my children were sent
to live four hundred miles away.
All my words now mean nothing.
I was in so much pain that I felt that
this life seemed to want to push me
to the bottom of my suffering.
Some time later,
when I was slowly starting
to put together the pieces of my life,
I happened to read a book called The Meaning of Human Life by Victor Frankl.
What was said in the book did not heal my broken marriage
or bring my family together,
but it did help me to have a different perspective on my situation.
One of the most valuable things I’ve learned is this:
How people think and see events is more important than the events themselves.
Frankl’s situation is much worse than mine.
But by force of will,
he overcame them all.
Frankl was one of millions of Jews locked up in a Nazi concentration camp
during World War II.
Hitler’s regime deprived him of a happy family,
a lovely home,
and a promising job.
He was thrown into a prison camp,
where he was forced to become one of the lowest of human beings.
Frankl witnessed his friend being killed,
many have committed suicide,
while others are losing the will to survive.
Frankl later wrote that, in the midst of brutality and pain,
what annoyed and frustrated him the most was seeing his fellow prisoners think
they had no reason or chance to exist anymore,
and then they lose their will
and accept to give up life like a creature about to go to the slaughterhouse.
He realized that there is one thing that
the concentration camp cannot take away
– that is,
choosing for himself an attitude to live, a will
– this is also what can sustain his desire to live,
no matter what.
Tell me how bad the situation is.
Victor Frankl not only lived through the brutality
of the concentration camp and the war,
but he later became one of the world’s most respected psychologists.
He has helped revive the will to live of thousands of people on the verge of giving up this life,
by showing them that they still have choices,
and between them they can find new meaning for his life.
“We can give up our freedom
and dignity to let circumstances dictate and force us,
or we will rise above the situation with our own attitude,” he said.
It is important to understand that it is up to us
to decide what we become.”
I decided to live with my children.
I did everything to prove that one man can raise three children well.
As a result, two years after the divorce,
all three children were returned to live with me.
And I’m glad I did the best in my situation.
Why is attitude so important?
“The starting point for all success is knowing how to form a positive attitude.” – Noname
Attitude is the frame that guides our thoughts,
the way we look
– including our ideas and feelings about ourselves,
the people around us,
and our lives in general.
people with a positive attitude always expect good things,
while people with a negative attitude
only aim for pessimistic things.
Our attitude to life acts like a magnet.
Our thoughts, whether positive or negative,
will guide our actions.
The present we are today is the result of the attitudes
we have chosen in the past.
Therefore, if we want to change our present,
the first thing we need to do right away is to find a way
to change our perspective on the most troublesome problems
and not finding the solution.
To have a happy life
1. Think with a open thinking
“An open mind is the beginning of self-discovery and growth.
We can’t learn anything new
until we dare to admit to ourselves that
we don’t know everything and are wrong at times.” – Erwing G. Hall
I used to specialize in philosophy at university.
All lessons begin with a lesson in logic that
It helps us to think properly
when considering all sides of the problem has come to a logical conclusion.
He always taught us to never think that we know everything.
That’s the defect that young people today often meet
because they often think that they are already good,
know it all,
when they really only know a little.
He explained to us that an open mind contains a forward-thinking attitude,
always learning and discovering new things.
Port learns, the more we experience,
the more we find ourselves with many unknowns.
The value of an open mind is to help us understand more,
and recognize our limitations.
2. Be ownership of your thoughts
“Don’t let the world around you force you into its framework.”- Noname
The media in advertising programs try to force our thinking.
If we really care about what’s going on around us,
we can completely control our thoughts and beliefs
and our ability to recognize the true value in life.
We can do things we want or come up with on our own
instead of following what others are doing.
3. Think positively
“Positive thinking helps us to realize where we are now and
to shape the future we have always dreamed of.”- Wilferd Arlan Peterson
Even in the moments of “cloudy cover”
or “darkness with no direction”,
just a positive thought will have the effect of dispelling all gloom,
bringing you bright things immediately,
sign of a good tomorrow,
believe it and hold on to it,
don’t let negative thoughts get in the way,
even though for most people it seems a distant thing.
They expect and think that there must be some miracle or someone
to bring them good things,
but they think they can’t do anything about themselves.
There are people who just think they can do it
but they still don’t really believe it,
so those thoughts come and go.
Self-confidence is not the result of the random effects of positive thinking,
but self-confidence that is built through practice,
and eventually becomes a way of life.
Positive thinkers recognize the resistance of negative ideas
to guard against
and not to be swayed by them.
Moreover, they also know how to filter information to form optimistic thoughts
and views in life in all circumstances.
All I want to tell you is to think with an open mind,
master your thoughts and think positively.
“What happens to you in life is not as important as how you deal with it.” – John Homer Miller