Chapter 11 The principle of trade-off
You need to give up to grow
“People will often cling to an uncomfortable way of life
instead of changing for the better for fear of getting worse.”
— Erik Hoffer
What will you need to move to the next step?
Vision?
That’s right. Hard-working?
Sure.
Personal development?
Of course.
What about letting go of some of the things you love and value most?
Believe it or not,
this is something that often causes people to procrastinate,
even those who have achieved some success.
When you start your career,
it’s not too hard to give up to grow.
In fact, you are willing to give up everything in exchange for a chance.
Why? Because your “everything” is nothing much!
But when you start to accumulate something:
a job you enjoy,
a high salary,
a home,
a community of which you are a member,
a degree of security?
Are you willing to give up those things for the chance to do something
that will bring you closer to your potential?
ACHIEVE YOUR DREAM
I recently read the story of an entrepreneur
who realized the importance of making trade-offs
to be more successful and reach his potential.
The son of impoverished service workers
who worked hard
and tried his best to achieve everything they had,
he took care of his own education
and earned a degree in mathematics.
He began his career working for the government,
but soon moved into business,
starting with Coca-Cola,
the company where his father worked as a driver.
He is a manager,
but he believes his career will be limited while here,
because he thinks they will always see him
as the driver’s son
and not judge him based on his own ability.
So when he had the opportunity
to work at Pillsbury’s headquarters,
he took the opportunity
and moved to Minnesota.
His superiors at Pillsbury,
whom he had known previously at Coca-Cola,
told him they were facing a tough challenge,
and if unsuccessful,
they would look for new jobs.
That did not discourage him.
“I am always encouraged by the possibility
success is better than the fear of failure,”
he explains.
He worked hard
and set his sights on becoming a Vice President before the age of 40.
At Pillsbury,
he started in a management position.
He was soon promoted to group director,
then to senior director of information systems management,
and finally to deputy general manager of systems,
responsible for overseeing the construction of the company’s headquarters.
Pillsbury World,
a 44-story twin tower complex in central Minneapolis.
He completed the project ahead of schedule and under budget.
He achieved his goal four years ahead of his self-imposed deadline.
He became Deputy General Director
and owns an office with a beautiful view from the 36th floor of the building.
He achieved his dream
and went beyond the expectations from his humble beginnings.
But for him,
that’s still not enough.
He wrote;
I was only 36 years old,
and although I was blessed with many achievements in a short time,
at that time I knew I had to achieve more.
So I started to imagine how exciting it would be
if I were actually the decision maker running a business…!
After several successful years
as Pillsbury’s VP of Systems and Services,
I knew I had to dream higher;
I dream of becoming the President of some company, somewhere.2
If he sticks to his current path,
he may never become the Chairman of Pillsbury.
His problem is that although he is always successful
and handles all responsibilities with great competence,
he has never managed profit and loss in any position.
What are you gonna do?
How did you achieve your dream?
FROM DEPUTY GENERAL DIRECTOR TO BURGER FLIPPER********
He discussed his situation with the COO of Pillsbury
and was presented with a possible solution.
Go work for one of Pillsbury’s divisions:
Burger King.
The move had potential,
but it also meant he had to make tough trade-offs.
I said:
Coming to Burger King meant giving up the position of Deputy General Manager that
I had worked so hard to get;
salary decreased significantly compared to the original;
loss of stock options;
need to learn a new profession from zero;
and,
if successful,
I may have to move to another part of the US.
In other words, his life would change completely in the opposite direction.
But that’s how the Trade-Off Principle works.
If you want to grow to reach your potential,
you must be willing to give up some of the things you value.
You have to give up to grow.
As he made the decision,
he wondered if this would bring him closer
to his dream of becoming the president of a business.
He also said:
“I didn’t ask myself the wrong questions like:
How difficult will my new job be?
What would my friends think
if they saw me making hamburgers in a fast food restaurant?
What will I do if this new position doesn’t work as intended?”
He made a trade-off,
—accepted the position, committed.
He arrived at Burger King University,
along with a host of recent college graduates
and restaurant workers who received the opportunity
to become assistant managers.
He is an “old man”.
He learned about a whole new business,
starting with roasting chicken,
then operating the cash register,
and so on.
And when the training was over,
he became the 4th assistant manager,
working at the place.
It’s only a 15-minute drive from his Deputy General Director’s office.
At Burger King,
he progressed from assistant manager to store manager to area manager
and Philadelphia Area Deputy General Manager.
It’s not an easy path.
He has faced many challenges
and there are many people in the organization
who do not want to see him succeed.
But he persisted,
and he succeeded.
“In retrospect,”
he said,
“the unexpected setbacks
I encountered at Burger King could have been a blessing in disguise.
If I had predicted them,
I would have lost sight of my dream.”
Have you ever dreamed of becoming the president of a certain company?
The answer is yes.
Four years after moving from Pillsbury to Burger King,
he was asked to take over a failed company that
Pillsbury had bought:
Godfather’s Pizza.
And if you haven’t guessed it yet,
I want to tell you that the name of this businessman is Herman Cain.
Although he failed to win the Chairmanship and received a rain of criticism,
if you look at his life and career,
you can see that he understood the Principle of Trade-off very well
and gave up to grow.
TRUTH ABOUT TRADE
Life has many turns, ups and downs.
At these crossroads,
we are forced to choose.
We can add something to our life,
take something away,
or trade one thing for another.
The most successful people know
when to do one of these three things.
Here are some insights that
I hope will help you understand the trade-offs,
spot them,
and take advantage of them.
We can always make trade-offs throughout life
I’ve known the Trade-Off Principle since elementary school,
though I didn’t call it what I do now.
At that time,
I liked to play marbles.
We played marbles during lunch and breaks.
Trying to beat your friends
and get their best marbles is a great experience.
A friend of mine had a very nice,
big cat’s eye marble that
I really wanted to get but he didn’t use it to play with,
so I never had a chance to win it.
He just held it up and showed it to us.
So I thought of a plan.
I suggest to change it.
I would first offer to exchange whatever pellets I have for it.
He didn’t care.
Then I offered to exchange two for it.
Then three pills.
Four tablets.
I think he will change if I give up my seven marbles.
He was very happy when he got seven marbles.
And I am very happy to have that beautiful marble.
Everyone makes a trade-off in life,
whether they know it or not.
The question is,
have you made good or bad trade-offs.
Overall,
I believe…
Unsuccessful people make bad trade-offs.
The average person makes very few trade-offs.
Successful people are very good at trade-offs.
I estimate that I have made over 26 major trade-offs so far in my life.
+I’ve made two trade-offs in the last three months!
At the age of 64,
I realized that I had to be willing to make tradeoffs
if I wanted to continue to grow
and strive to reach my potential.
When I stop making trade-offs,
I will reach the end of my life’s journey.
And at that point my growth stopped.
And that will be the day
when my best years are behind me
and my potential is no longer ahead.
We must learn to see trade-offs
as opportunities for growth
Nothing creates a greater gap between successful
and unsuccessful people than the choices they make.
Often, people make their lives more difficult
because they have made bad choices at crossroads in their lives
or refused to make choices out of fear.
But it’s important to remember that
while we don’t always get what we want,
we always get what we choose.
Although we don’t always get what we want,
we always get what we choose.
Whenever I’m faced with a trade-off,
I ask myself two questions:
What are the pros and cons of this trade-off?
Any time you react to one of life’s crossroads
with fear instead of looking at its merits,
you have excluded yourself from a potential opportunity.
By trying to figure out the pros and cons of any choice,
I’ve been able to deal with my fear.
Observing harsh realities also helped me discover that
I tend to overestimate the value of what
I have and underestimate the value of what
I can gain by giving it up.
Will I stay the same or grow with this change?
Great trade-offs are not something you have to endure.
That reflects a passive attitude and a mindset that says,
“I hope this works out.”
Instead,
positive trade-offs should be viewed as opportunities for growth.
After all,
we will be more mature.
As we grow through change,
we become more dynamic.
We control our attitudes and emotions.
We become agents of positive change in our own lives.
Author Denis Waitley says:
“One sign of wisdom and maturity is
when you realize that your decisions carry rewards and positive outcomes.
You have to take charge of your life,
and your ultimate success depends on the choices you make.”
I agree with that,
and many years ago I determined that
while others may live a lackluster life,
I am not.
Although others may consider themselves a victim,
I am not
While others leave their future in the hands of others,
I do not.
Although others simply exist,
I will grow up and truly live.
It’s my choice,
and I won’t give up.
Trade-offs force us to make difficult personal changes
I often hear people express hope that things will change.
In those moments,
I want to tell them that the difference
between where we are
and where we want to be is created by the changes
we are willing to make in our lives.
When you want something you’ve never had,
you have to do something you’ve never done.
Otherwise you will continue to get the same results.
The difference between where we are
and where we want to be is created by the changes
we are willing to make in our lives.
Changes in our lives always begin with the changes
we are willing to make to ourselves.
This is usually not easy.
But to get through it,
we need to remember that…
Personal Change – To change your life,
you need to change.
Change is possible – Anyone can change.
Change is beneficial – You will get results when you change.
Change may not always be easy,
but we can always do it.
As psychologist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl notes,
“When we cannot change a situation,
we are forced to change ourselves.”
We just need to remember that we are the key.
Being willing to change is very important.
That’s when we make the change.
Changing just for the sake of change will only make one person suffer.
Necessary advance changes can lead to big wins,
but are difficult to implement
Changing when you have to change brings you victory.
Changing after you have to change leads to loss.
Rejecting change is killing your potential.
“When we cannot change a situation,
we must change ourselves.” – Victor Frankl
One of the most difficult personal changes
I ever experienced occurred in 1978.
At that point,
I found myself at a crossroads in my life.
I realize that my ability to help people as a speaker is very limited.
I can only touch the lives of the people I talk to.
That’s when I decided that I would write the book.
The problem is that I’ve never written a book and don’t know how.
I realized it would take a lot of time and effort to become an author,
but I was ready to give it a try.
I spent many hours interviewing authors,
taking classes,
attending conferences,
and listening to tapes.
I have spent hundreds of hours writing
and revising what I have written.
This process took me a year,
and all I got was a small,
hundred-page manuscript.
It was rejected by publishers,
and there were times when I asked myself:
“is all this effort really worth it?”
In the end,
it paid off well.
I was able to publish my first book,
Think on these things.
Did I reach my potential to write that book?
No, but it set me on a path to being able to reach my potential
because I was an adult.
And completing a book has helped me keep writing,
learning,
and improving.
Today,
I have written more than 70 books
with more than 21 million copies sold.
But I might never have sold a book
if I wasn’t willing to make the tough changes needed to become a writer.
And I never reached most of the people
I had the opportunity to help.
The pain of trade-offs often lasts longer than the pleasure it brings
Not long ago,
I visited the home of my son,
Joel,
and found my grandson,
James, a three-year-old boy,
sitting in the dark laundry room.
The boy is waiting for his blanket to dry,
and he is not happy
because the blanket is in the dryer,
nothing to hug.
We are a lot like James.
We really want change,
but we don’t want to wait for the results.
And often we are acutely aware of what we lose in exchange
because we feel it immediately,
while we often don’t reap the rewards of the trade-off for many days,
weeks,
months,
years or even decades later.
This waiting period can be a real challenge.
We want results,
but we have to deal with the loss of what we want
and the uncertainty
between the end of the trade-off
and the hope for a new beginning.
This change is like a loss.
Some people deal with uncertainty quite well;
others do not.
Some recover from psychological stress of change fairly quickly
and successfully overcome;
others do not.
How well you do will depend partly on your personality
and partly on your attitude.
You cannot change your personality,
but you can choose a positive attitude
and focus on the upcoming benefits of the trade-offs.
We can change at any time
We can make trade-offs at any time in our lives.
For example,
we can give up bad habits for good ones any time
we are determined to change.
Getting enough sleep,
exercising instead of lying around
and developing better eating habits
to improve our health is a matter of choice,
not opportunity.
Obviously,
the sooner we make decisions,
the better,
but not everyone does.
After making a bad trade-off,
people often panic,
feeling that they have lost it
and can never be saved.
But rarely is that true.
Most of the time,
we can choose to go back.
I know that was true for me.
I made many bad trade-offs,
but I refunded my trade-offs and returned to my original state.
One of my favorite poems is Carl Bard’s work that
shows the power from making positive choices after bad ones.
Though no one can go back and make
a brand new start,
my friend,
Anyone can start from now
And make a brand new ending.
Translated:
Although no one can turn back
and have a whole new beginning,
but my friends,
Anyone can get started now
And create a whole new ending.
Therefore,
when it comes to choices,
never say never.
Never is a distant,
unreliable thing,
and life has too many possibilities
for you to waste by imposing that restriction on it.
Some trade-offs appear only once
The cycle of change gives us the opportunity to make decisions.
Sometimes that cycle only happens once.
Missing it means letting the opportunity go.
Andy Grove,
former President and CEO of Intel,
commented,
“There is at least one point in the history of any company
when you have to make drastic changes
to get to the next performance ladder.
If you miss that point,
you will start to fall.”
I went through one of those situations a few years ago.
For more than a decade,
the person I most wanted to meet was Nelson Mandela.
It took a few years,
but I was finally able to make an appointment to speak with him for a day.
But when that day came,
Mandela broke his hip so he canceled the appointment.
I could change my schedule to come see you,
but that would also mean I had to cancel my talk in Kenya.
It’s a trade-off I’m not willing to make,
because I promised to get there.
Since Mandela was old,
I might miss the chance to see him forever.
The higher you go,
the harder it is to change
As I noted before,
if you’re like most people,
you have to give up very little at the start of your career.
But as you get higher and
accumulate some good achievements in life,
you have to pay a higher price if you want to trade it.
Former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger said:
“Every success buys a ticket to a more difficult problem.”
“Each success only buys an entrance ticket
to a more difficult problem.”
– Henry Kissinger
When we are low, we trade for despair.
We have an incentive to change.
As we climb the ladder,
we change for inspiration.
At this higher level,
we don’t need to do it anymore.
We feel comfortable.
As a result,
we don’t make trade-offs.
One of the risks of success is that
it can make a person unwilling to learn more.
Many people easily allow themselves to take success as a ticket
to allow themselves to stop growing.
They believe they know enough to succeed
and they start to slow down.
They trade creativity and development for a formula,
which they use over and over again over time.
They say,
“You can’t argue with success.”
But they were wrong.
Why?
Because the skills that got you here may not be the skills
that will get you there.
This is especially true today when things are changing rapidly.
Five years ago (since I’m writing this),
Twitter didn’t exist.
Now think about how that affects our culture and our business.
Four years ago,
the iPhone didn’t exist.
Now it’s normal to carry this high-powered computer
and media device in your pocket.
No matter how successful you are up to this point,
you can never “stand up”.
If you want to continue to grow and learn,
you need to keep making trade-offs.
In the end, in trade-off,
we are trading one part of ourselves for another.
Author and thinker Henry David Thoreau said,
“The price of anything is the part of your life
you’re willing to give up for it.”
You give part of your life in return for another part.
That may not be easy,
but it is necessary.
“The price of anything is the part of your life
you are willing to give up to get it. – Henry David Thoreau
Trade-offs never make us the same
Business author Louis Boone asserts,
“Don’t be so afraid of failure that you refuse to try new things.
The most boring life summary is three descriptions:
can,
could be,
and should be.”
We all have the right to choose,
but every time we make a choice,
our choices affect us.
It changes us.
Even bad choices can help us change for the better,
because they open our minds and show us who we are.
Professor,
writer,
and advocate C. S. Lewis wrote a book called The Great Divorce.
It is said that he chose that title because faith requires a choice.
If we really test it,
we have to decide which side we want to live on,
and that choice causes us to part ways with what we once held.
Therefore, no matter which way we choose,
we can never be the old “us”
when making choices.
Some trade-offs are not worth the price
I’m always ready to change.
I’ve seen trade-offs as a way of life.
But not everything in my life is a trade-off.
I don’t want to trade marriage for a career.
I am not willing to trade my relationship with my children
or grandchildren for fame or fortune.
And I don’t want to trade my values for anything or anyone.
These kinds of trade-offs only lead to regret.
And once these things have been exchanged,
it is very difficult to get them back.
Perhaps the most remarkable story of a bad trade-off is that
of Jacob and Esau in the Bible.
As the eldest son,
Esau is the first choice for the position of inheriting everything from his father,
Isaac. But then he traded it for a chance to fill his stomach:
One day Jacob was cooking a stew.
Esau returned from the field and was very hungry.
Esau said to Jacob,
“Give me some red soup
– I’m hungry!”
Jacob said,
“Let’s trade it:
My stew for your birthright!”
Esau said,
“I am hungry!
What’s an inheritance if I starve?
Jacob said,
“First, swear.”
And Esau did.
He gave up the right to be born the eldest.
Jacob gave him bread and lentil soup.
He ate,
drank,
got up and left.
Esau gave up his right to be the eldest son.6
I believe most people who make bad trade-offs like this don’t realize
they’re doing it until it’s too late.
That’s why I believe it’s important to create systems and boundaries to stay safe.
For example,
I gave Margaret the power to veto my schedule
to keep me from spending too much time working.
I also avoid being alone
with any women other than family members.
And I take time each day to pray that my values guide me
and play an important role in my life.
I recommend exercising options and using systems
to keep yourself on track.
THE TRADE IS VERY WELL BEEN MADE
So far in life,
what have you traded for?
Have you thought about that?
Do you offer guidelines to help you decide
what to strive for and what to trade off?
Allow me to offer five trade-offs that
I think can help you develop your own guidelines:
1. I’m willing to give up financial security today for tomorrow’s potential
Doctor and author George W. Crane says:
“There is no future in any job.
The future is in the hands of the person holding that job.”
I have always believed that too,
and as a result,
I am always willing to bet on myself,
so much so that I often take financial risks in pursuit of what
I believe is an attractive opportunity.
“There is no future in any job.
The future is in the hands of the person holding that job.” – George W. Crane
I changed jobs seven times in my life
and accepted a pay cut for it.
The first time was
when I chose my first job.
When I graduated from college,
two churches invited me to lead their churches.
A church that offers a full-time salary.
The rest of the church does not.
I have chosen
second church because I believe I will grow more there.
(And because Margaret is willing to work to help us!)
The second position I hold with a larger church gives me a better salary.
That was in 1972.
Of all the career changes so far,
there was only one place that offered a favorable salary
– it was 2010!
Why am I always willing to accept a pay cut when changing jobs?
Because I value chance more than guarantee.
And I know I will work hard and possibly earn more in the long run.
As my friend Kevin Turner,
COO of Microsoft,
puts it:
“The only job security we have is our commitment to personal growth.”
It’s a trade-off that always pays off.
“The only job security we have is our commitment to personal growth.”
– Kevin Turner
2. I am willing to give up immediate gratification in exchange for personal growth
I am a very optimistic person,
and I like to have fun.
In fact, if you knew
when I was a kid,
you’d probably guess that
my life wasn’t going to work out.
I’m useless.
All I want to do is play football
and spend time with my friends.
But as I became an adult,
I learned the words of opera singer Beverly Sills:
“There are no shortcuts to anywhere of value.”
Immediate rewards
and personal growth never go hand in hand.
A friend of mine Darren Hardy wrote in his book The Compound Effect
about the war most people experience
when considering taking immediate rewards
or doing what’s best for them,
we are as follows:
We know that if we keep eating syrupy cookies,
our waistlines will never shrink.
We realize that spending three hours a night watching Dancing with the Stars
and NCIS will take us three hours
to read a book or listen to good music.
We know that paying for an expensive pair of running shoes
They doesn’t make us ready to run a marathon.
We are a “rational” species
– at least that’s what we say of ourselves.
So why do we become slaves of so many
bad habit?
It is because of our need for immediate gratification,
which can turn us into the most passive,
thoughtless beings.
When it comes to growth and success,
immediate satisfaction is always the enemy of growth.
We can choose to please ourselves and settle down,
or we can delay gratification and growth.
That is our choice.
3. I’m willing to give up a rushed life in exchange for a beautiful life
We live in a culture that stereotypes movie and movie stars,
covets luxurious mansions,
idealizes travel,
and plays the lottery in the hope of one day having it,
opportunity to flourish with an admirable life.
But it was almost an illusion.
It’s like a well-groomed model on the cover of a magazine.
It’s not real.
It’s just one of the reasons
I chose to give up the rush life in exchange for a good life.
What is the good life?
In their book Repacking Your Bags,
Richard J. Leider and David A. Shapiro offer a recipe for the good life.
They say,
“Living where you belong,
with the people you love,
doing the right job,
the right purpose.”
That’s a pretty good description.
I will also add to what evangelist Albert Schweitzer said:
“The great secret of success is going
through life as someone who never runs out of energy.”
In order to keep myself from being “out of energy”,
I try to create greater inner capacity
and thus always succeed in life.
If you want to create competence
and succeed in life,
I recommend the following:
• Authorize you to work smarter,
not just harder.
• Do what you do best and ignore the rest.
• Take control of your schedule;
otherwise someone else will do it.
• Do what you love because it gives you energy.
• Work with people you like so your energy won’t run out
If you do those things
while doing the right job with the right purpose in the right place
with the people you love,
you will have a good life.
4. I’m willing to give up warranties in exchange for meaning
I know many people whose life goal is security:
emotional,
physical,
and financial security.
But I don’t think
it’s wiser to measure progress with assurance as a yardstick.
I think we should measure by meaning.
And that requires development.
You’ll never get anywhere interesting
by always doing what’s safe.
Most people can make a living.
It’s a safe thing.
Meaningful work is about making a difference.
The great men of history are not great
because of what they earned and possessed,
but because of what they spent their lives achieving.
Every trade-off is a challenge to becoming the person we might actually be.
If they’re done correctly,
we can create opportunities to help others become
who they might actually be.
That is the meaning!
The great men of history are not great
because of what they earned and possessed,
but because of what they spent their lives achieving.
5. I am willing to give up the addition in exchange for the multiplication
I started my career as a successful person.
I always have a lot of energy,
I am happy to work with the people I love,
and I never need a lot of sleep.
So I threw myself into work
and was motivated to help people.
My attitude at the beginning was
“What can I do for others?”
But that’s an addition.
Once I started learning how to lead,
my question changed:
“What can I do with others?”
That is multiplication.
Where I’m investing a lot of time,
energy,
and resources to multiply is EQUIP,
the nonprofit I founded to teach leadership globally.
With the intention of collaborating with others
and helping more people,
we asked that:
What if a company led every day…
Efforts to add value to leaders
and organizations;
value the spirit of cooperation
and actively pursue them;
Share, rather than hoard,
resources and knowledge with others;
Doesn’t care who gets the credit;
and
Become a fishing rod instead of a fish in the process of helping others?
The answer is multiplication!
As of today,
EQUIP has trained more than five million leaders in 175 countries
around the world.
That is a very rewarding result.
If you have not considered yourself a leader,
I would like to encourage you
to explore the possibility of developing your leadership potential.
Even if you have been extremely successful in personal growth,
enhancing your skills and abilities,
if you learn to lead, you can continue to influence
those around you even more.
However, if you believe you are incapable of leading others,
then consider becoming a mentor.
Your investment in others will have a scaling effect,
and you won’t regret the time you spent.
Most people try to take too much with them
when they go on a life journey.
They want to keep adding
-without taking anything away.
That won’t work.
You can’t do everything;
only a certain amount of time in a day.
At some point,
you will reach your limit.
Besides,
we need to always remember that if nothing happens,
nothing will change!
We can learn a lot about trade-offs from checkers.
As someone once said:
One step back,
two steps forward;
don’t take two steps at once;
forward,
instead of backward;
and when you get to the top,
you are free to move as you want.
9 If you want to reach your potential,
be prepared to make a trade-off.
As author James Allen once said:
“He who sacrifices little will gain little;
Whoever achieves much will be forced to make a lot of sacrifices.”
APPLICATION OF THE PRINCIPLE OF TRADE TO LIFE
1. Write down your personal list of trade-offs.
Start by using the list in the chapter to spark ideas:
� I’m willing to give up financial security today for tomorrow’s potential
� I am willing to give up immediate gratification in exchange for personal growth
� I’m willing to give up a rushed life in exchange for a beautiful life
� I’m willing to give up security in exchange for meaning
� I’m willing to give up additions in exchange for multiplication
Think about the worthwhile trade-offs you’ve made in the past that
you think will continue to be great ideas for the future.
Consider what you need to reach your potential or need to give up to reach it.
2. It is important to know what you are not willing to give up
in order to determine what you are willing to give up.
Think about the non-negotiables in your life and list them out.
Then for each, identify its greatest potential threat
and the security measures
you need to put in place to protect it.
3. What trade-offs do you need right now that you don’t want to do?
Most people prefer to settle down
and learn to live with a limit or barrier that can be removed by trade-offs.
What’s the next thing you need to trade off?
And what do you have to give up to get it?