John C. Maxwell! 15 Golden Rules of Personal Development!
Chapter 15. Contribution Principles
“Man is born to be rich or will surely get rich
through the use of his mind.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
Developing yourself helps you develop others
If you’re not doing something with your life,
it doesn’t matter how long your life is!
I started my growth journey
after my conversation with Curt Kampmeier 40 years ago,
I had no idea where it would take me.
At first I just knew that I needed to grow
and that I was intentional about it.
I must confess that from the very beginning,
my motivation for personal development was very selfish.
I want to grow so I can be successful.
There are goals and milestones
that I want to achieve.
But along the way,
I made a life-changing discovery.
My progress in personal development also opens doors for others.
It made it possible for me to contribute to them.
It leads us not only to success,
but also to meaning in life.
In addition to what I receive,
I can also give in the process of self-development.
The confidence I gained gave me credibility
and made me believe
that I could start developing others.
And in the process,
I found life’s greatest joy and reward.
I hope that this final chapter inspires you
to help others become
who they can be.
You can’t give what you don’t have.
But if you have made an effort to learn
or earn something,
you are likely to pass it on to others.
If you live by the Contribution Principle,
you will have a lot to give
because self-development allows you to develop others.
The person who doesn’t know where his next dollar is coming from,
usually doesn’t know where his last dollar went. – Grant Cardone
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ORIGINAL INSPIRATION
Adding value to others is a priority in my life.
This desire appeared in my life as a teenager
when I read about Benjamin Franklin,
who once wrote:
“I would rather be referred to
as ‘he lived a productive life’ rather than ‘he died. in velvet’.”
More than words,
that’s how Franklin lived.
For example, when he developed
what became known as the Franklin stove,
he could patent it
and make some money from it.
Instead, he decided to share the invention with the world.
“I’d rather be referred to
as ‘he lived a productive life’ rather than ‘he died in luxury’.” – Benjamin Franklin
According to Dr. John C. Van Horne of the Library Company of Philadelphia:
“Franklin’s philanthropy is
what I call collective nature.
His sense of compassion has helped his fellow human beings,
contributing to the beautification of society.
In fact, in a sense Franklin’s philanthropy,
his sense of compassion, was his religion.
Doing good for people is,
in his opinion,
a very sacred thing.”
Franklin didn’t see the world based on
how much money he could make from it.
He saw it in terms of the number of people he could help.
He helped develop the concepts of loan libraries
and local fire departments.
Even his work as a printer reflects his desire
to share ideas,
not hoard them.
As a teenager,
I’ve known that every day Franklin asked himself in the morning,
“What am I going to do today?”
And in the evening:
“How well did I do today?”
That inspired me.
It has helped me realize
that I can become more intentional about my ability
to help others
and hold myself accountable
for it on a daily basis.
As I got older,
that changed
from a mere idea to my greatest wish.
Every day Franklin asked himself in the morning,
“What am I going to do today?”
And in the evening:
“How well did I do today?”
This became clear to me
when I had a stroke in 1998.
While in my hospital bed,
not knowing if I would survive,
I was not afraid of death.
I had two thoughts:
First, I wanted to make sure the people closest
to me knew how much I loved them.
But the second thing is
that I still have a lot of work to do.
There are still contributions I want to make.
51 years old is too young to die.
I later learned that David Rae of Young Presidents said that most CEOs
are less afraid of death than they are of not being able
to contribute to their world,
so my feelings were clearly normal.
CEOs are less afraid of death
than they are of not being able to contribute to their world,
so my feeling is clearly normal.
“Money requires you to sell,
not your weakness for the foolishness of people,
but your talent for their reason.”– Ayn Rand
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MAKE A MODEL
My desire to help others doesn’t just come
from reading about great leaders,
such as Benjamin Franklin.
I was also inspired by my parents’ example.
Over the years I have seen my mother,
a longtime librarian,
become the main source of encouragement
and confidant of many girlfriends at the college
where my father served as president.
She has made a difference in the lives of so many.
I also saw that from my father.
I saw him serving the parishioners
when he a local pastor.
Then I saw him serve and add value to pastors
when he was district superintendent.
And he continuously adds value to students
and faculty as he manages the university.
And dad is still helping others.
A few years ago,
Dad was getting ready to move into a new nursing home,
and he let me know
that he wanted to be the first to move in when it opened.
“That’s very important, son.
I need to be the first,” he insisted.
Now, it’s characteristic of the Maxwell family
to want to win at anything and everything,
but I suspect Dad has something on purpose.
“Why do you want to go there in the first place?” I ask.
“You see,” he replied,
“a lot of old people will move into that facility”
– I was almost 90 years old then!
– “and it will be strange to them.
They will be scared.
I want to be there first
so I can greet them
when they arrive,
introduce myself, show them around
and let them know that everything is going to be okay.”
When I get older,
I want to be like my father.
People calculate too much and think too little. ― Charlie Munger
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BE A RIVER, NOT A HOUSE
How do you increase your chances of helping others
and making a significant contribution in your life?
Treat yourself like a river instead of a reservoir.
Most people who consider personal development a part of life
do it to add value to themselves.
They are like reservoirs,
constantly receiving water
but only filling themselves.
On the contrary,
the river is always flowing.
Whatever water it receives,
it gives.
That’s how we should do it as we learn and grow.
That requires an abundance mindset
– the belief that we will continue to receive.
But the longer you stick with personal development,
the more you will never experience scarcity
and will always have plenty to give.
Recently Margaret and I listened to Gordon MacDonald talk.
He challenged us to find someone
who could encourage us
and then be a source of encouragement to others.
He asked the following questions:
Who mentors you and provides you with basic insights?
Who mentors you to inspire you
to be a better person?
Who challenges you to think?
Who cheers your dream?
Who cares enough to reprimand you?
Who has mercy when you fail?
Who shares stressful moments with you without your asking?
Who brings joy and laughter into your life?
Who gives you vision when you’re dismayed?
Who inspires you to follow God’s path?
Who loves you unconditionally?
These questions are a great way
to help you identify someone
who can encourage you
to be the best person you can be.
But we should also put ourselves in their shoes
to think about our similar roles to others.
Who will you advise?
Do you share in moments of pressure
without the person offering to help?
As former President Jimmy Carter once said,
“I have one life and one chance to make it meaningful…
My faith holds that I can do anything I can,
anywhere wherever I can,
whenever I can,
as long as I try to make a difference.”
“I have one life and one chance
to make it meaningful with something…
My faith holds that I can do anything I can,
wherever I can,
wherever I may be whenever I can,
as long as I try to make a difference.” – Jimmy Carter
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MAKING THE RIGHT CONTRIBUTION CHOICES
Giving away your time, expertise,
and resources
without expecting anything in return is an act of generosity
that makes the world a better place.
We need more givers.
I can’t explain why that works,
but as you focus more on the needs
and wants of others,
many of your own needs and wants are also met.
Conversely,
when you choose to hoard what you have,
instead of giving it away,
you become the center of your own lonely universe,
and you become lacking in diversity.
As a result, you repel both people
and potential blessings.
You can become a more generous person and give more,
even if you have those qualities.
However, to do that,
you have to be a developer.
And you must be purposeful in your efforts
to add value to others.
Here are some suggestions
to help you cultivate a contributing attitude:
You are the master of your destiny.
You can influence, direct and control your own environment.
You can make your life what you want it to be. — Napoleon Hill
*************
1. Be grateful
Those who are not grateful are not givers.
They rarely think of others;
They only think about themselves.
They are always looking to others for help,
for support, and for service.
And whenever others fail to meet those expectations,
they wonder why.
Their conceit makes them unable to be seeders
and their ingratitude makes them wonder why they have nothing to harvest!
When I was a kid,
my father helped me understand
that everyone depends on each other
and gets each other’s help.
He used to say,
“When you were born,
you owed me nine months of heavy labor!” And
I started pursuing personal growth,
the concept of getting help
from others in that process was solidified.
In 1975 when I went to hear Zig Ziglar speak for the first time,
he said,
“You can have everything in life you want
if you help enough people get what they want.”
Those words are bold in me.
And I know well that many people have helped
– and are still helping me along the way.
Every author has written the books I’ve ever read.
Every leader has taken the time to teach me.
Every individual works as a volunteer at my church.
No one succeeds alone.
Many years ago,
I came across the following sentences
that helped capture this idea.
I don’t know who wrote them,
but I quoted them
and tried to live by them
– for 40 years:
There is no success
without sacrifice.
If we succeed
without sacrifice,
it is because someone
before us has to make sacrifices.
If you sacrifice
and don’t see success,
someone who follows will reap the rewards of your sacrifice.
I am the recipient of many achievements
that I do not deserve
and do not have to sacrifice.
Someone paid for them.
I’m so grateful!
How do I show my gratitude?
By investing in others
and teaching them things that help them go further
and achieve beyond
what I have achieved.
When you receive,
I hope you will give as well.
Some people want it to happen.
Some wish it would happen.
Others make it happen. ― Michael Jordan
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2. Put everyone first
The older I get, the more I realize the importance of others.
Everything in life is only temporary.
People are important.
Your career, hobbies and other passions will die with you.
Everyone is not.
What you help others make them high enough
that they can give to others.
It’s a cycle that can continue long after you’re gone.
Being kind to others not only helps people,
it also helps us navigate our lives better
and puts us in a place where we can learn from others.
As George Washington Carver observed:
“How far you go in life depends on your flexibility with the young,
your respect for the elderly,
your sympathy with the poor,
and your tolerance,
towards the weak and the strong.
Because one day in your life,
you’ll probably end up like them.”
If you are a leader,
putting people first is even more important,
because your actions affect so many people.
For example,
you always hear that in every organization,
people are always the most valuable asset,
but many leaders don’t behave as if that is the case.
I should know:
As a young leader, I made the mistake of thinking
that my vision should come first.
I believe that my most important responsibility is
to make people respect me,
where I have been, what I do, what I ask.
I think people are obligated to serve me for the sake of the vision.
The problem with that kind of attitude is
that the line between encouraging people
and manipulating them is thin and easy to cross.
When a leader tries to engage people,
the first question they ask is not:
“Where are you going?”
but “Do you care about me?”
This is true whenever two people want
to do something together,
not just between leaders and employees.
But people especially want to know
that they matter to their leader
and that they can trust that person.
Once people feel secure that your motives are right
and that you will put them
before your own interests,
then they will be ready
to be your partner on the journey.
That’s what they aspire to be,
not a passive follower
– or worse, a tool to be manipulated.
The measure of success is not the number of people serving you,
but the number of people you serve.
When people hold the
#1 position in your life,
it becomes natural
to add value to them.
You do it as part of your lifestyle.
You add value to people because you value them
and you believe they are valuable
for you to value.
The measure of success is not the number
of people serving you,
but the number of people you serve.
The road to success is always under construction. — Aysa Angel
*************
3. Don’t let things rule you
According to my friend Wille Wille,
people can be divided into three groups:
yes, no, and not paying
for what they have.
Unfortunately,
more and more people are being added
to the third group every day.
People are becoming slaves of desire to have.
That is one of the reasons the United States
and Europe are in such dire financial crises.
They continue to borrow
to compensate for their spending habits.
“Owning things is an obsession in our culture,” writes Foster.
If we own it, we feel it will bring us more joy.
It was an illusion.”
Owning everything does not bring real satisfaction.
In general,
if you try to meet mental
or emotional needs with material things,
it will
It just makes you crave for more.
It does not bring satisfaction.
However, if you meet those needs properly,
then you can be content with having
or not having much wealth.
No one should become a slave to his tools.
No one should want more just
because they want more ownership in their work.
There is a story in the Bible about a man
who let everything control his thoughts and life.
His selfishness keeps him from seeing the big picture.
He is only focused on accumulating wealth
and feels this will go on forever.
However, his life is short
and he cannot invest in the lives of others.
Author John Ortberg writes about him:
He devoted his life to the wrong things.
If you had to make a list of his priorities,
it would probably look something like this:
What’s most important
1. Harvest bountiful crops
2. Build a large barn
3. Financial security
4. Eat
5. Drinking alcohol
6. Have fun
7. Remember not to die
And of course,
the last item is one of the really tough ones.
Sooner or later we will have to return to Mother Earth.
And to whom will the things you hoard belong?1
In 1889, millionaire industrialist Andrew Carnegie
wrote an essay called “Gospel of Wealth”.
In it, he said that a rich person’s life should have two stages:
a time to accumulate wealth
and a time to distribute them.
The only way to maintain a generous attitude is
to make it a habit to give:
your time,
your attention,
your money,
and your resources.
Richard Foster advises:
“The mere act of giving away money,
or other valuables,
creates something in us.
It destroys your greed.”
“The mere act of giving away money,
or other valuables,
creates something in us.
It destroys your greed.”– Richard Foster
If you want to master your heart,
don’t let what you own control you.
The question is:
“Do you own your tools or let them own you?”
Contributors use their tools
to make the world a better place.
And they do this no matter how much
or how little they have.
Opportunity is missed by most people
because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. — Thomas Edisongreat
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4. Don’t let others own you
When Margaret
and I first got married
and I started my career,
we had very few resources.
Basically, we have to live hard.
During that time,
we became friends with a wealthy couple.
Every Friday night,
Jack and Helen would take us
to a fancy restaurant and invite us to dinner.
That was the highlight of my week,
because Margaret
and I never had enough money to eat there.
Over a period of two years,
we have benefited greatly from this friendship,
and we are very grateful.
After three years in that position,
I received an offer to become the leader of a larger church.
It’s a great opportunity
with great advancement opportunities and potential.
When I announced
that I was leaving to take that opportunity,
Jack was not pleased.
I will never forget his words:
“John, how can you go after all
that I have done for you?”
That’s when I realized Jack was slowly starting to possess me.
He’s in a winning position
and I don’t know it!
It was a wake-up call.
That was the day I made the choice.
I will always strive to give more than
I receive in relationships.
And I will never hold the part in control.
From that day on,
I never let one of my leaders take the bill at a restaurant.
I will be on the giving side whenever possible.
Obviously I still get from other people.
I explained that.
I am blessed for receiving so much that others do for me.
But I don’t want giving to control my life.
It’s hard to give when someone else owns you.
I want to be able to judge people
without being tied down to anything.
A life of giving should be liberating
for yourself and for those you help.
“I define my success by the seeds I sow,
not the crops I reap.”– Robert Louis Stevenson
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5. Define success as sowing, not reaping
Novelist Robert Louis Stevenson said,
“I define my success by the seeds I sow,
not the crops I reap.”
That’s how we should measure
not only success in our industry but our lives.
Unfortunately,
most people sow very few seeds
but expect a bountiful harvest.
Their focus is on the day of the harvest.
Why so?
There is clearly a problem of natural selfishness.
But I think there’s more to it than that.
My friend Nabi Saleh,
who owns Gloria Jean’s Coffee, once told me,
“After sowing, there is a period
when it seems like nothing has happened.
All development happens below the surface.”
People often don’t realize it,
nor predict it,
and plan it
for it. They become impatient.
And they give up.
“After sowing,
there was a period of time
when it seemed as if nothing had happened.
All development happens below the surface.”- Prophet Saleh
In his book Halftime,
Bob Buford wrote about an executive
looking for advice on how to live.
Buford wrote:
A friend of mine who was the president
of a large publishing company was once
looking for a world-renowned Zen master.
After telling the great enterprise of his life to the Zen master
that elicited many reactions in him,
he decided to remain silent for a moment.
The Zen master began to pour tea into a cup
until the water overflowed onto the grass
and flowed towards my friend.
At that time, my friend asked the Zen master
what he was doing.
The Zen master replied:
Your life is like a cup of tea, overflowing.
There is no room for anything new.
You need to take away, not add.2
If you sow seeds only to quickly reap in life,
then you will often be dissatisfied with the results
and cannot continue to give and live and wait.
On the other hand,
if you sow a lot of seeds and sow continuously,
you can be sure that you will have a good harvest in the right season.
Successful people know this and focus on planting the seeds,
knowing they will reap the rewards.
This process is automatic.
If you live with purpose about making a difference in the lives of others,
your life will be full.
I like the way George Washington Carver interprets this idea.
“No individual has the right
to enter the world and go out
without leaving clear and legitimate reasons
for having gone through it,”
he said. That is something we must always keep in mind.
“No individual has the right
to enter the world and walk out
without leaving clear and valid reasons
for passing through it.”- George Washington Carver
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6. Focus on self-development, not complacency
One of the more important things my mentor,
consultant Fred Smith,
taught me is to never focus on complacency in your life.
He said:
The complacent person thinks about how something serves him.
Self-developed people think about how something helps them
to serve others.
With complacency,
feeling good is the product.
With self-development,
feeling good is a by-product.
What is the main difference?
Engine.
Complacency means doing
what I enjoy most
and will receive the most praise for doing it,
while self-development means doing
what I am most qualified and fit to do,
which becomes a responsibility.
Pursuing complacency is like pursuing happiness.
It was a feeling that couldn’t be sustained.
It depends too much on the circumstances.
It depends on one’s mood.
On the contrary,
you can develop yourself no matter how you feel,
your situation,
your financial situation
or the people around you.
Gratitude builds a bridge to abundance. ― Roy T. Bennett
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7. Keep growing to keep giving
Whenever people stop actively learning and growing,
the clock starts to go back to a time
when they had nothing left to give.
If you want to keep giving, you have to keep growing.
If you want to keep giving, you have to keep growing.
Sometimes people stop learning
because they become complacent.
They believe they have developed enough,
or they just want to make the most of
what they already have in terms
of skills and knowledge.
But when that happens,
they start to stabilize and then fall.
They lose their creative spirit.
They start thinking about efficiency
instead of breakthrough.
They cut costs instead of investing in development.
Their vision becomes narrow.
And instead of playing to win,
they started playing not to lose.
The second thing that happens to people
who stop trying for positive growth is
that they lose their passion.
We all love to do what we’re good at,
but being good at something requires us to hone our skills.
Limited skills lead to less enthusiasm
and ultimately dissatisfaction.
If we reach this stage,
we will begin to look behind us,
because that was our golden age.
We think of the beautiful,
glorious days that have passed.
At that point,
we’re just a few feet away from obsolescence.
No one wants to learn from a “used to be”.
What can we contribute
if we get to this point?
I want to give everything I have.
To do that I have to keep growing
until I can’t grow anymore.
To curse money is to curse liberty,
to curse life,
which is nothing,
if it be not free” — Remy De Gourmont
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A LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR
In December 2009,
a legendary teacher, writer,
and personal development mentor passed away.
His name is Jim Rohn.
As a child,
Rohn grew up on a farm in Idaho.
After graduating from high school,
he attended college but only stayed there for a year.
“One year in college,
and I think I was well educated,” says Rohn.
Rohn became a stockbroker at Sears,
but he only made enough money to live on.
At the age of 25,
he started to get discouraged.
I hope to find a
way better.
A friend of Rohn’s invited him
to attend a seminar presented by J. Earl Shoaff,
a speaker and salesman. Key message:
Put more effort into yourself than on work;
your income is directly related
to your philosophy,
not the economy;
For things to change,
you have to change.3
Shoaff mentored Rohn for five years,
encouraging him to develop himself
and follow his dreams
to create a better life for himself and his family.
By the age of 31, Rohn was a millionaire.
Rohn may have had a success story
that very few people know about,
but then his life took an unexpected turn.
A friend invited him to share his successes at a Rotary Club meeting.
Rohn accepted and delivered the message he called
“From the farm boy in Idaho
to Beverly Hills”.
It was a hit. Others began to invite him to talk.
He initially spoke at service organizations,
high schools,
and colleges.
But he soon realized that people were coveting
what he wanted to teach.
In 1963, he founded an event organization.
During a career in people development spanning more than four decades,
Rohn has written more than two dozen books,
spoken at more than 6,000 events,
and grown about five million people.
And during that time,
he never stopped learning and growing.
“The biggest gift you can give someone
is your personal growth.
I used to say,
‘if you take care of me,
I’ll take care of you.’
Now I say, ‘
I’ll take care of myself for you
if you take care of yourself for me.’”
“The greatest gift you can give someone is your personal growth.”– Jim Rohn
One of the biggest gauges of Rohn’s influence
is the number of established authors
and human developers who consider him a mentor.
At a party honoring him held in Anaheim,
California on February 6, 2010,
guests honored him including famous speakers and mentors such as:
Anthony Robbins, Les Brown, Brian Tracy ,
Chris Widener, Denis Waitley and Darren Hardy.5
How can Rohn help so many people grow?
And how have you helped so many people become famous teachers
and mentors on their own?
By continuously developing yourself.
He understands that self-development allows you
to develop others.
He lives by the Contribution Principle.
George Bernard Shaw,
the writer who won the Nobel Prize for literature in 1925,
understood that the best use of one’s life was in the service of others.
He said:
This is the true joy of life,
used for a purpose recognized
by oneself as an extraordinary person;
be a force of nature instead of a body full of selfish afflictions
and complaining that the world won’t make an effort
to make you happy.
I think my life belongs to the whole community,
and as long as I live,
it’s my privilege to give whatever I can.
I want to be fully utilized until I lie down,
because the harder I work,
the more meaningful my life becomes.
I am happy to enjoy life.
Life to me is not a faint candle.
It is a bright torch
that I hold for a moment and cause it
to burn brightly before handing it on to future generations.
If you want your life to burn brightly
before passing it on to others and future generations,
keep growing.
The secret to their success is to focus on becoming the person
who is capable of achieving the desired results. — Steve Siebold
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APPLICATION OF THE PRINCIPLE OF CONTRIBUTION TO LIFE
1. What is your basic desire in life:
Is it complacency or self-development?
Are your efforts designed to make you feel good?
Or feel the best?
Is your goal to be successful?
Or to gain meaning?
Are you trying to achieve results so you can feel happy?
Or are you trying to put yourself in a position to help others win?
These differences may be very small,
but they really make a difference.
Trying to feel fulfilled is a constant jittery
because you will never be completely satisfied with your progress.
Self-development is a never-ending journey
and will always inspire you,
because every progress is a victory;
But there will always be new challenges
to excite and inspire you.
“Wealth flows from energy and ideas.” – William Feather
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2. Make sure no one owns you.
Make a list of the important people in your life.
Now think about each relationship
and determine
if you are a major or moderate giver or receiver.
If you are primarily the receiver,
then you need to adjust
so that the other party does not have control over you.
How do you do that?
By making an effort to give in life
without bothering to receive.
You can do this not only with your family and friends,
but even with your superiors.
Strive to do more than the organization pays you to do.
Not just the people you do
giving and working with will value you
and you will also add value to them.
And if you have the opportunity
to move on to bigger and better things,
you’ll be able to do so thinking
that you’ve always given your best.
Money was made for the free-hearted and generous.” — John Ray
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3. I have one last applicable exercise for you in this book,
and that is to put people first in your life.
Write down your top three to seven goals and dreams.
Now write down the names of the most important people in your life.
Be honest with yourself.
Who is first?
Everybody?
Or your goals and dreams?
If you’re like me in the early years of my career,
scheduling comes first.
Fortunately, I soon realized after marriage
that Margaret was the first priority.
That opened the door for me to be less selfish
in other areas of my life.
Then when my children were born,
I prioritized them over many other things.
The older I get,
the more important people become to me.
At this stage of my life,
nearly everything I do
– even in regards to personal growth
– is motivated by a desire to help others.
Decide to put others first in your schedule.
Put family before work.
Put everyone’s growth in the workplace ahead of your own.
Serve others instead of yourself.
Commit to it,
and then invite others in your life
to observe to hold you accountable.
And remember,
sometimes the seeds you plant take a long time to grow.
But you will always see a good harvest.
“Wealth has nothing to do with intelligence
but with encouragement and inspiration.”– Jim Rohn
