Dare to Think Big
3. Build Confidence And Remove Fear
Whenever having to worry about something,
everyone must have been comforted by friends:
“You just thought it up yourself,
there is no problem.
Don’t worry too much.”
They’re all well-intentioned
when they say that,
but you and I both know that kind of fear remedy never works.
Words of comfort and encouragement can help us forget our fears in minutes or,
luckily,
hours.
But just a simple “You’re imagining it!”
It is not possible to completely eliminate fear to regain confidence.
To conquer fear,
we must first acknowledge its existence.
Most people’s fears are caused
by psychological problems.
Anxiety, stress, confusion,
or panic are all products of negative thoughts and psychological turmoil.
But if we just stop at finding the root of the fear,
we can hardly eliminate it completely.
Just like healing.
When the doctor discovers an infection on your body,
he does not stop there,
but will continue to treat the wound once the wound is completely healed.
The traditional “you only imagine” treatment denies the existence of fear.
In fact, the fear is completely real.
It is the number one enemy of anyone on the road to success.
It prevents you from seizing opportunities,
makes your health decline,
gives rise to illness,
anxiety,
reduces life expectancy.
Fear also makes you not dare to boldly express your opinion.
Fear – or more specifically uncertainty,
lack of confidence,
mental instability is one of the reasons
why we still face an economic downturn today.
It is also due to fear that millions of people do not reach for success,
do not enjoy a prosperous life.
Honestly, fear has tremendous power.
In many ways,
fear prevents people from getting what they want in life.
Fear, in one form or another,
whether severe or mild,
belongs to mental illness.
To treat a mental illness,
we need to use specific,
well-tested regimens just like how to treat a physical illness.
However, to prepare for the treatment,
the first thing you must do is get into the habit
of building up your confidence to the maximum.
No one is born with confidence.
The same is true for the characters you usually admire
(for their confidence,
their composure,
their ability to conquer fear in all circumstances).
They achieve social status by exploiting
and promoting all the confidence they have.
You absolutely can do like them.
Well, this chapter will show you how.
During World War II,
the US Navy forced recruits to be good swimmers or,
if not, to learn to swim well;
As the generals clearly understood in many cases,
sailors could only survive if they knew how to swim.
New recruits who cannot swim are required
to attend classes organized by the Navy.
I have witnessed their swimming lessons many times with my own eyes.
You will feel funny when you see strong, healthy,
full of vitality guys
who are afraid of a few meters of water.
One of the exercises I still remember was
that the sailors were ordered to jump from a board 2 meters
above the water surface into a 2.5 meter deep pool,
with about half a dozen professional swimmers standing around. .
If you think about it more deeply,
it’s sad.
The fear of those young men is entirely possible.
Little did they know
that a single jump into the water below could completely defeat their fear.
There have been several times
when I have seen guys “accidentally” get pushed off the board,
and as a result, they have completely conquered their fear!
The incident proved one thing:
only action can help us overcome fear.
The more due to indecision,
delay,
the more favorable conditions for fear to grow.
Immediately write down in your notebook “the principles of success”:
only action can help us overcome fear.
Practice has proven this principle to be absolutely correct.
A few months ago, a man in his 40s,
A sales manager for a giant retail corporation,
came to see me nervously.
“I was very worried,” he said.
I’m probably going to lose my job.
I know my time at this company is only counted in days.”
Surprised, I asked,
“Why is that?
What happened?”
“Everything is okay.
Compared to the same period last year,
my division’s sales fell by as much as 7%.
This is made worse
by the fact that overall store sales are still growing at 6%.
All because I made some unwise decisions.
Many times I was called to blame by the sales manager,
because my department alone could not keep up
with the progress of the whole company.
I have never felt so bad.
I feel like I’m losing my keen sense mine.
Everyone around me noticed it:
from the salespeople under me to my assistant,
and of course the members of the board of directors.
A few days ago,
during a meeting of the company’s key managers,
a colleague even suggested transferring some of my employees to him,
because, according to him,
“doing so will create get a bigger profit for the store”.
Honestly, I feel like I’m drowning
while thousands of opportunists just stand
there watching me sink.”
The manager continued to narrate,
emphasizing his current predicament.
Finally, not having enough patience,
I had to interrupt:
“So what did you do to get out of that situation?
Have you tried to do anything to make things better?”.
He hesitated:
“There is nothing more that can be done!
Well, let’s just hope for good things to come.”
“Right now, do you really think hope is enough?”
Then without waiting for him to answer,
I continued:
“Why don’t you do anything to make those hopes come true?”.
He pondered for a moment and then said,
“Please go ahead. What should I do now?“.
“In your situation,
I think, there are two things to do.
First, this afternoon,
start working on ways to increase sales in your division.
We need to face difficulties.
There must be a reason why sales are falling.
Gotta find a good reason!
Perhaps, he should launch an attractive sale to drain the inventory,
and then import new,
higher-value items.
Or he can change the layout of the store,
or encourage employees to work more enthusiastic.
I can’t say exactly what will help increase sales,
but there must be a way!
You should also meet with the sales manager privately.
Maybe he is going to fire you
but if you talk about the difficulties you are facing,
ask him for advice to help get out of the current situation,
he will certainly be available.
Believe me, once the director realizes
he is working to improve the situation,
he will give you more time.
Moreover,
he also understands
that the company will have to spend a lot of money
if it wants to find a replacement for an experienced manager like him.
After finding the most reasonable solution,
urge your assistants to immediately implement the new plan.
Stop behaving like a loser.
Let everyone around know
that you can overcome this difficulty.”
Hearing this,
the manager brightened up.
He continued,
“You said there are two things I should do.
So what’s the second thing?”
“The latter can be considered as a backup plan.
He let his two or three closest partners know
that he was thinking about moving to another store,
of course,
with a better income than his current job.
I think,
after he has implemented new strategies
to increase sales of the division,
the backup plan may not be necessary.
But who knows,
one or two options would be better anyway.
Remember:
a working person looking for another job
is dozens of times easier
than an unemployed person looking for a job.”
Not long after that,
the same troubled manager called me back.
He excitedly announced:
“When I returned to the company,
I made a series of changes,
the most important of which involved my salespeople.
In the past,
I only held a staff meeting once a week,
but now we meet every morning at the beginning of the hour.
That way has aroused enthusiasm,
passion for work in them.
I guess, once they felt
I was trying to improve the situation,
they were also willing to help me wholeheartedly.
All they waited for was a signal of change from me!
I believe everything will get better and better.
Our sales last week were higher than the same period last year,
even higher than the store average.
Well, by the way,
I also want to tell you another good news.
Regarding the backup plan,
after listening to his advice,
I suggested and received two job offers with a high salary.
I’m very happy,
but I still refuse both,
because things are going back to the way they used to be.”
One thing is clear:
when we are faced with difficulties,
if we do nothing to get out of the situation,
we will only stay in the mud forever.
Hope is the starting point,
but it takes action to make hope come true.
Always keep in mind to apply this principle.
Whenever you encounter difficulties,
no matter how big or small,
always keep your spirits up.
Then ask yourself,
what do I need to do to overcome that fear?
Isolate your fear first.
Then figure out the most appropriate way to remove it.
Here are examples of some common fears
and ways to overcome them:
In order to succeed,
we must first believe that we can. ― Nikos Kazantzakis
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ASKING HOW TO KEEP UP
1. Feeling ashamed of how you look.
Improve your look with how to get
to a barber shop or a beauty salon.
Shine your shoes;
laundry laundry.
But the most important thing is to behave gracefully.
That’s far more effective than wearing new clothes.
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2. Fear of losing an important customer.
Work twice as hard,
take better care of that customer.
Immediately fix the mistakes
that have caused customers to lose trust in you
3. Fear of failing the exam.
Instead of worrying,
take the time to study thoroughly.
4. Afraid of things that are out of your control.
Instead of fear, ease the anxiety of others,
and calm your mind for relaxation.
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5. Fear of having accidents out of control,
such as natural disasters or flight problems.
Direct your attention to other things, for example,
weeding in the garden,
playing with the kids,
or watching a good movie.
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6. Fear of what people think and say about you.
Make sure what you intend to do is reasonable.
Then do them,
don’t hesitate.
It’s good to be talked about by everyone,
because no one puts in the effort
to do things that other people don’t pay attention to.
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7. Fear when investing or buying a house.
Let’s analyze every aspect.
Then be assertive.
Once you’ve made your decision,
stick with your thoughts.
Be confident in your own judgment.
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8. Fear of people in general.
Always keep a relative distance from them and remember:
everyone around you is human just like you.
*******************
Follow these two steps,
if you want to conquer your fear and gain confidence:
1. Isolate your fear.
Tie it tight.
Determine exactly what is causing you fear.
2. Then take action.
Every fear has a suitable method to overcome.
And keep one thing in mind:
hesitation only increases fear.
Be decisive and act immediately!
Severe lack of confidence can make your memory confused and complicated.
Your brain is like a bank.
Thoughts produced every day will be deposited in the “mind bank”.
More and more thoughts accumulate,
becoming your memory.
When you have something to think about
or when you face a problem,
you go to that bank:
“What experience have I had with this?”.
This bank will automatically provide you
with a range of information about similar situations
you have experienced before.
Then, your memory will act as a supplier of material against
which you can generate new ideas.
The treasurer of the “mind bank” is very dedicated and trustworthy.
He never cheated on you.
If at some point you come to him and ask,
“Man, let me be completely inferior to everyone else,”
he will immediately answer: “Yes, sir.
Remember how you failed the previous two times?
Do you remember your sixth grade teacher
who told you you weren’t capable of anything?
Do you remember what you overheard from your colleagues?…”
Just like that,
the cashier will dig deep into every nook and cranny of your mind,
uncovering a series of memories you’ve deposited at the bank,
to prove you’re completely inferior to everyone else.
But if your question is:
“Dude, I need to make an extremely difficult decision.
Please help me to be more confident!”.
The treasurer will quickly reply:
“Yes, sir.”
But this time,
the ideas that he gives you will be things
that you have been successful before!
“Remember how you handled a similar situation before,
how well you handled it…
Do you remember how Mr. Smith used to trust you,
remember if your friends used to praise,
admire and admire you.
how are you? And,…”
Your treasurer always fully and accurately responds to your requests.
He’ll help you remember what you want after all,
it’s your bank.
Here are two things that are extremely helpful
if you want to build confidence,
by managing and effectively managing your “mind bank”.
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1. Keep only positive thoughts,
put in your “mind bank”.
To be honest:
anyone has encountered many difficult,
confusing,
and easily discouraged situations.
But the way successful and unsuccessful people deal with them is quite the opposite.
Unsuccessful people are also obsessed with those situations,
whining about them all the time.
They hide in confusion and make them more
and more imprinted in their minds
so that they have to toss and turn at night.
But the actions of successful and confident people are just the opposite.
They always keep in mind that
“Don’t think about unexpected situations.”
Instead, they are always thinking about more optimistic things.
Imagine, if every morning before going to work,
you fill the car’s radiator with dirty water,
will your car be able to run well?
If you keep doing this,
no matter how good the engine is,
the car will soon malfunction.
Likewise, the storage of negative,
uncomfortable thoughts in your head will eat up your mind day by day,
creating anxiety, frustration,
and feelings of weakness.
They leave you not knowing what to do next,
but you can only stand by and watch people move on.
So, from now on,
develop the following habit:
Whenever you have time to sit alone,
recall the sweet memories,
store them in your memory.
This will help you increase your confidence,
feel “I’m-always-well” and stay healthy.
It is a perfect and extremely useful method.
Before going to bed,
always think of good things,
save them in your “mind bank”.
Think about the happiness that you have been enjoying.
Hyax thank you for the wonderful things you have:
good health, ideal life partner,
good children, wonderful friends
Remember all the good deeds people give to each other.
Remember your achievements,
victories even the smallest of you.
Let’s review all the reasons for which you always silently thank God
for letting you live in this world.
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2. From the “mind bank”,
you are only allowed to draw positive thoughts.
A few years ago,
I worked quite closely with a consulting firm in Chicago.
This company specializes in receiving psychological counseling for clients,
mainly on issues related to marriage
and family and inner balance.
One afternoon,
I sat down to chat with the company’s director about tips
to help clients regain psychological balance. He “revealed”:
“You know, maybe we will all be unemployed,
if people understand and do this…”
“What is it?” – I asked curiously.
“It’s simple:
eliminate all negative thoughts,
before they spread to make us confused and afraid.
Most of the people who ask for my advice have built themselves a museum of fear.
For example, in marriage,
almost every couple encounters the so-called “honeymoon monster”.
The honeymoon,
for some reason,
was not as satisfying as the insider expected,
was not as perfect as the insider expected.
But instead of ignoring and deepening those bad memories,
they often mentioned them to torment each other,
so that the memories became an obstacle
that prevented them from living happily.
They came to see me,
hoping to find a way out of the marriage.
Most of my clients don’t know where their problem lies.
My job is to find and explain to them the cause,
and then convince them
that the problem is not really that serious.
Many people easily get into the habit of creating their own “mental monsters”
whenever they encounter any unpleasant things:
a failure at work,
a lover’s silver master,
an ineffective investment
or a failure expectations about the behavior of my teenage son
these are the “monsters” I need to help the owners confront and defeat.”
Any negative thought,
if it is “nourished” regularly in your head,
will sooner or later turn into a “monster” that resides in your mind,
disrupting confidence,
leading to instability psychologically heavy.
In the article
“The Road to Self-Destruction” published in Cosmopolitan magazine,
Alice Mulcahey said that each year more than 30,000 Americans commit suicide,
more than 100,000 others have suicidal thoughts.
“There is amazing evidence that today,
millions of people are ‘poisoning’ themselves
by slow and inconspicuous methods,
committing suicide not physically,
but mentally,” she wrote.
They are always looking for ways to demean themselves,
to punish themselves,
or to demean themselves.”
The same psychologist told me about
how he helped a patient end “mental suicide.”
He said:
“This female patient is almost 40 years old and has two children.
She fell into a deep crisis,
lamenting that whatever happened to her was unhappy:
from school to marriage,
to having children,
or all the places she had been all bad!
She said bitterly that she couldn’t remember a time
when she was truly happy.
Because what one remembers in the past affects
what one sees in the present,
this woman sees nothing but darkness and pessimism.
When I showed her a picture and asked her what she saw in it, she said,
“Looks like there’s going to be a terrible storm tonight!”
I had never heard such a pessimistic explanation of the painting before.
(Actually listening to the explanation is quite pessimistic,
oil painting is quite large,
depicts the scene of the sun descending near the horizon and a rocky shore.
The picture is painted very elaborately,
can be interpreted as a sunrise scene
or sunset depending on each person’s perception.
According to psychology,
the perception before the painting will reveal a part of that person’s personality.
Most common people say this is a sunrise scene.
If you’re in a crisis, mentally disturbed, then it’s a sunset.)
As a psychologist,
I incapable of changing what is present in a person’s memory.
I can only help them remember the bad things that happened in the past,
with a lighter and more relaxed look.
That is also the basic treatment that I apply to this woman.
I talked to her,
suggesting she remember the joys of the past,
instead of sinking into constant disappointment.
Six months later,
she had the first signs of a psychological transformation.
At that point,
I decided to come up with a special exercise.
I asked her to meditate and every day
to write down three reasons to feel happiness around her.
Every time she came to see me for the next session,
we discussed what she wrote down.
We did this method for a month straight.
And, she changed completely.
Now, she is always optimistic and happy like everyone else.”
When this woman no longer thinks of negative things,
she will surely convince her spirit quickly.
No matter how serious a psychological problem you are having,
as long as you think of the positive instead of the negative,
the illness will immediately dissipate.
Don’t create “monsters” in your mind.
Don’t think about unpleasant things.
When recalling any incident that happened,
focus your thoughts on the good side,
and let go of the bad side.
Stop immediately every time you find yourself thinking in a sad,
depressing way.
There is a very important fact,
to be happy
that the human mind tends to forget the bad things.
If you know how to accept everything with a light and comfortable mentality,
bad memories will become more and more blurred.
And, one day the cashier in your “mind bank” will put the bad “account” out.
Dr. Melvin S.Hattwick,
a renowned advertising psychologist,
commented on human memory capacity:
“An advertisement that gives a pleasant feeling
to the viewer will easily be recorded and remember more.
Otherwise, the reader or person will immediately forget the message
that the advertisement brings.
Because those messages are the complete opposite of what they want,
they won’t want to save them for anything.”
In short, we will easily forget the bad things
if we don’t remember them anymore.
Or y always think in a bright way.
Your confidence and feeling of conquering the world will grow within you.
When you no longer have low self-esteem or low self-esteem,
you have gone a long way in overcoming fear!
Why do so many people feel afraid,
embarrassed,
and shy when interacting with people around them?
What is the root cause of that embarrassment?
And what do we do to fix it?
Fear of people around is a very disturbing illness.
But not without a cure.
You can completely overcome this fear,
if you know how to look at people with a friendly attitude.
I have a friend who is a fairly successful businessman,
who is currently running a business
that produces decorative arts and souvenirs.
He told me about his own experience of how to see people.
It was a very interesting story.
“Before joining the army during World War II,
I was an incredibly timid, unimaginably shy person,
I was always scared when I had to deal with strangers.
I have always felt self-conscious about both my looks and my intellect.
Everyone seems to be much smarter than me.
I always thought I was born to be a failure.
But then a chance luck helped me completely eliminate that fear.
In the years 1942 – 1943,
the army organized additional recruitment for a fierce battlefield.
At that time, I was sent to work
as a nurse in one of the largest recruitment centers in the country.
Every day,
my duty is to help the doctors check the health of the candidates.
The more I interact with them,
the bolder I become,
the fear gradually disappears.
Hundreds of young men
who came to audition were asked to take off their clothes
and stand in line to be checked one by one.
Despite the difference in appearance,
fat and thin,
tall and short,
they are all the same in anxiety,
in the feeling of loneliness
and loneliness that shows on each person’s face.
Just a few days ago,
they were complete strangers with different careers,
different interests.
Some are young managers,
others are farmers,
salesmen,
fishermen
or manual laborers.
But now,
when gathered at this recruitment center,
they were all the same.
After working there for a while,
I realized an important thing,
that people have more similarities than differences.
They like me, love delicious food,
always remember family and friends,
want to advance in their career,
they also face many difficult problems,
and cherish every moment of relaxation.
When I realize that everyone around me has so many similarities with me,
I see no reason anymore to fear them again.”
Such an analysis makes sense,
doesn’t it?
If people share so many similarities with you,
why should you fear them?
Here are two principles to help you see others
with confidence and dynamism.
Excellence is not a skill.
It’s an attitude. — Ralph Marston
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1. Always keep a balanced attitude
when looking at and evaluating others.
Keep these two things in mind when dealing with people:
first, they are important people.
Of course it is,
because it doesn’t matter who the person is.
But there’s a second thing:
You’re just as important as them!
Therefore, when interacting or talking with others,
always keep in mind that:
“We are two equal people,
discussing and exchanging
for the benefit and concern of both parties”.
Just a few months ago,
a business friend of mine called to let me know
that he had just accepted the guy
I had introduced to him earlier.
He asked me,
“Do you know why I like that guy?”.
I was curious immediately:
“Why?”.
“What I like most about this guy is his confidence in himself.
Most of the other candidates
when entering my room were extremely nervous and scared.
They answered every question I asked in terms of
what they thought I would be interested in hearing.
They make me feel like they’re begging me,
because they’re willing to accept any request without any opinion.
That’s what makes them nothing special,
leaving no impression at all.
But this guy is different.
He respects me,
but he also respects himself.
Instead of repeatedly answering my questions,
he asked the opposite:
what is the company, the position,
what is the specific task.
He proves that he is not a mediocre type,
but is a real human being able to fulfill his duties well.”
When you realize
that you are just as important as the people around you,
you will always keep a balance in your relationship.
And just like that,
you will feel a lot more confident.
No matter how tall someone is,
no matter how important their position,
is still an ordinary person with the same interests,
hobbies, aspirations and problems in life as you.
When you help others feel important,
you help yourself feel important too. — David J. Schwartz
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2. Learn to empathize with others.
In life, there are certainly many people who always find ways to scold,
criticize, or even deceive and humiliate you.
Therefore, you should be mentally prepared
to be ready to deal with such people,
to face such situations.
Otherwise, unstable things can seriously affect you,
reduce your confidence,
and even make you fall into a sense of failure.
You need to have a defense against those who strongly bully love,
just like to use strength to bully people who are smaller than you.
I once witnessed a story
that can be a great example of the most reasonable way
to deal with the type of person who behaves rudely.
The story takes place at the registration desk of the Memphis hotel.
It was around 5 pm,
the staff was busy with a large number of guests checking in at the hotel.
The man in line right in front of me said his name in a tone
that sounded like he ordered the front desk staff
to hurry up and complete the check-in process.
The staff member after checking,
informed the guest:
“Yes, Mr. R., it is a pleasure to welcome you.
We have prepared the best,
most comfortable single room for you.”
The man shouted loudly:
“Why a single room?
I booked a double room in advance!”
To the sudden anger of the guest,
the receptionist still gently replied:
“Please wait a moment so I can check again”.
Then he pulled the other man’s booking slip out of the file,
quickly checked it,
then replied,
“I’m sorry, sir,
but it’s clearly stated in your request
that you require a single room.
Unfortunately, we are out of double rooms,
otherwise we will be ready to exchange for you immediately.”
The guest heard this even more angry:
“I don’t care what that damn paper says.
I want a double room.”
Then he began to mercilessly kill employees with threats such as,
“Do you-know-who-I-am-?”
or “I will make you quit.
Then you see, you’ll be fired soon.”
Despite those shouting and threats,
the receptionist was very polite:
“We are really sorry sir,
we did exactly what you asked.”
Finally, unable to do anything more,
the other man angrily shouted:
“If I had known this hotel was doing so badly,
I would not have paid attention to it in the first place.
” Having said that, he was arrogant.
In turn, I quickly walked to the registration desk,
thinking that this guy at the front desk must be very sad
when he had just received such harsh,
unreasonable scolding.
But completely contrary to my thoughts,
he still greeted me with a bright, friendly smile:
“Hello, sir”.
While he was doing the registration procedures,
preparing the room,
I told him: “I am truly amazed and admire your restraint”.
He is light, the shopkeeper replied,
“I can’t be angry with people like that.
You see, he was upset not because of me.
I’m just the unfortunate one to suffer his irritation.
The poor man may have just raised his voice to his wife,
or his business is not doing well,
or maybe he always feels inferior
so this is a great opportunity for him.
Just a little bit of “marketing power”.
I’m just the one who creates an opportunity
for him to get out of his deadlock and inhibitions.”
The receptionist also added:
“I think his nature is gentle and kind.
Most people are like that.”
Entering the elevator,
I recalled the boy’s words.
“His nature is also gentle and kind.
Most people do.”
Do the right things to stay confident.
That is the principle that guides you to success.
More. It is also an extremely important psychological principle,
worth each of us reading
and re-reading over and over again.
Read until it sinks into your mind
and becomes a part of who you are:
To stay confident, never do anything wrong.
In the famous book Applied Psychology,
Dr. George W.Crane wrote:
“Always remember,
action is the guide of emotions.
You can’t control your emotions directly,
but through your choice of actions.
Always keep the above rule in mind,
if you do not want to fall into common tragedies
(such as discord and unhappiness in marriage).
Act rationally and you will have good feelings.
When you go on romantic dates together,
give each other sweet kisses,
or give each other tender compliments and cuddly gestures,
you and your husband will forever love each other
and be as happy as ever.
In life, too, you can’t pretend to be dedicated to win sympathy,
if it doesn’t come from the bottom of your heart.
Here are five very useful exercises
to help you build confidence in yourself.
Do your due diligence and practice regularly
to become a self-confident person.
The face is a picture of the mind with the eyes as its interpreter. ― Marcus Tullius Cicero
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1. Boldly sit in the first row.
Have you ever wondered why in meetings – at church,
in classes or at conferences
the back seats are always full?
Most people compete for a place in the back seats,
because they think sitting in the front
is “easy to attract too much attention”.
They don’t want to stand out,
it’s just that they don’t have enough confidence.
Sitting in the front row will help you build confidence.
Let’s try it out.
From now on,
in meetings or conferences,
try to sit as close to the front as possible.
You may be confused at first because you are easily noticed,
but remember, success cannot be separated from standing out.
When a woman is talking to you,
listen to what she says with her eyes. ― Victor Hugo
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2. Make eye contact.
In fact, we can learn a lot about a person
by the way they make eye contact.
When you talk to the other person
without looking you straight in the eye,
you will suddenly ask yourself a series of questions:
“What is he hiding?
What is he afraid of?
Or is he thinking of ways to trick me?”
In communication,
not daring to look the other person directly in the eye means
that you are creating a bad image of yourself:
“I am afraid. I’m not confident enough.”
Let go of this fear by forcing yourself
to look them in the eye.
Conversely, if you look someone in the eye,
you are implicitly asserting:
“I am completely forthright and honest.
I have nothing to hide.
Everything I say is true.
I’m not afraid.
I feel completely confident.”
Always look the other person in the eye.
That not only gives you but also gives you confidence back.
To change your life,
you need to change your priorities. — Mark Twain
*******************
3. Increase your speed by 25% more.
When I was a kid,
I loved going to the center of town.
For me, those trips are extremely interesting, wonderful.
After I finished everything and went back to the car,
my mother used to say,
“Davey, let’s sit here for a while
and watch everyone come back.”
At that time,
my mother used to quiz me with questions like:
“Son, look at this guy and guess what trouble he is in?”,
“What do you think that girl is going to do?”,
or “Let’s go.” look at that man.
He must be in trouble.”
Until now, I still keep the habit of observing people passing by.
Whether it’s in the hallways of my office,
at the train station,
or on the sidewalk,
sometimes I find myself trying to get
to know people’s personalities
even if it’s just by the way they move.
Most normal people walk at a “normal” pace.
Although they are not sluggish,
their posture shows one thing:
“I am not very proud of myself”.
Use this increase-speed-move-add-25% to build your confidence.
Shoulders lean back a little,
head raised forward,
feet step faster
and feel the confidence growing in you.
Try this simple exercise to see how effective it is.
You are what you believe yourself to be. ― Paulo Coelho
*******************
4. Please state your opinion.
I have the opportunity to interact
and work with a lot of people of all ages,
different jobs and positions.
Not a few of them have sharp perception
and great skill.
Yet many times,
I have witnessed them not dare to say anything in the group discussions.
It’s not that they don’t want to engage with people,
simply because they lack confidence.
Passive people often excuse themselves:
“My opinion must be of no value.
If I stand up to speak, sometimes people think I’m stupid.
Well, it’s best to keep quiet
and listen to other people’s opinions.
Many people know more about this issue than me,
it’s best if I don’t say it so as not to be laughed at as stupid.”
Every time he did not dare to give his opinion,
that passive person felt even more stupid and inferior.
Each time he promised himself that “next time” would definitely speak up
(but he also knew he would never keep his word).
Every time you don’t dare to speak up,
you kill your self-confidence.
And then you have less and less confidence in yourself.
On the contrary,
the more boldly you speak,
the more confident you will be.
Speaking up,
therefore,
is also getting easier.
Don’t be shy to voice your opinion.
It is an extremely important “vitamin”
for the process of building your confidence.
Try to apply as many self-confidence building principles as possible.
Remember the motto:
speak freely whenever the opportunity arises
(at business conferences,
committee meetings or community forums).
Don’t hesitate.
Feel free to speak up even if it’s just a question,
a comment or a suggestion.
And always be the first to comment,
not the last to follow.
Equally important is
that you don’t worry about people calling you stupid or stupid.
Because you are not that person.
If there are people who disagree with you,
there are certainly supporters.
Stop beating yourself up with questions like,
“Should I speak up?”
Instead, draw the attention of the meeting executive,
indicating that you are available and want to speak.
If you want to practice this method more,
try joining the club of conference and event organizers.
Through this club,
you will feel more comfortable when talking to others
or speaking in front of a crowd Thousands of people have established
their confidence in this way.
A smile is the best makeup any girl can wear. ― Marilyn Monroe
*******************
5. Have a big smile.
We have certainly heard at least once that a single smile
can be a powerful motivator to accomplish many things.
It is an effective remedy for the disease of lack of confidence.
But few people believe this advice,
because they have never tried to laugh
when they are afraid of something.
Imagine you are extremely sad,
disappointed,
but have to smile brightly.
You think it won’t be possible, right?
But actually, in such situations,
smiling is an effective method.
Because a comfortable smile will help bring confidence,
wash away all worries,
depression or fear in the heart.
A bright smile not only helps you to eliminate sadness,
but also immediately removes opposition and hostility from others.
Because no one can be mad at you,
if you give them a bright,
friendly smile.
Smile brightly,
then you will see “the good days come again”.
But remember to smile a lot.
Because only then will the smile take full effect.
A half smile can’t convince anyone.
********
PLEASE APPLY THE FOLLOWING 5 PRINCIPLES:
1.
Action helps to overcome fear.
Just sitting in fear and doing nothing will only make the fear grow,
At the same time your confidence disappears.
2.
Try to save positive thoughts in your “mind bank”.
Don’t let negative thoughts, self-criticism grow,
become “mental monsters”
by forgetting all the bad things in life.
3.
Look at people with a positive attitude.
Remember that you and them have more similarities than differences.
Always keep a balanced view of others.
They are just like you,
just ordinary people.
And always keep an attitude of understanding cooperation with everyone.
Sometimes out of anger,
they may yell at you loudly,
but very rarely they intentionally hurt you.
4.
Do only what your conscience allows.
Thanks to that, you will never have to torment yourself in guilt, wrong.
Always do the right thing
this is the golden rule if you want to be successful.
5.
Always show that:
“I am very confident, really confident”.
In everyday life,
remember to apply the tips just presented above:
Always sit in the first row
Eye contact
Strong step.
Boldly express your opinion.
Nice smile.
